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I wouldn't care as long as I could support her & pay the bills. As long as she didn't go nuts & on extreme shopping sprees anyhow. At that point I'd be telling her arse to get a job or get lost.
Ok. For the people who say having a SAHM means coming home to a clean house and home cooked meals, are their no working parents who do this?
My husband and I both work full-time but I insist on a perfectly clean house and tidy up everyday (I even scrub the 2 litterboxes daily) and my husband cooks most of the meals (he's making salmon salad for dinner tonight). We don't yet have kids but this will not change when we do (I'm a neatnik and he's a foodie).
Is there a general assumption that working parents can't also acheive a regularly clean home and homecooked meals?
If you have kids and can manage to keep your house clean, cook home-cooked meals every night and go to work 40 hours a week outside your home then good for you - you must be a very organized energetic person
Many women in that position find themselves overwhelmed and not quite able to pull it off the way you can
Oh wait, I just reread...YOU DON"T HAVE KIDS YET, lolololololol
Honey, THAT"S why it seems so easy for you right now
Yes that's what I meant exactly. I got right out of college and had a very hard time finding a job -- 15, 20 years out of work looking for a full time job? It's not that easy. Just saying a lot of these women put themselves at a disadvantage by relying on a man day in and day out for their well being, when they repeatedly leave their wives and kids. Too risky for me but like I said it's every woman's choice.
I would be lying if I said I never thought or worried about this especially when I watch Waiting to Exhale. At the end of the day, though, life is full of risks but it's like you said- it's every woman's choice to choose what risks we want to take. My husband can call me in the next hour and tell me he's done. My husband could die in the next hour and leave me a widow. Every second is a toss-up for everyone, everything and every possibility.
... Looks like a waste of time to me personally. They get no appreciation and left for the secretary or the neighbor's college daughter....
Why would they not be appreciated? And why would staying at home make their husbands leave them?
I'd have preferred my wife to stay at home to raise our children (cut daycare costs), keep the house (cut maid service costs) and do the daily shopping and errands (giving me more time at home). I'd also have hoped she'd have done some volunteer work so I wouldn't have had to do so much. (I was a small business owner and felt the need to stay active in community projects.) I'd think she would have also supported our business/my income more if she wasn't working at a full-time job.
So I would have appreciated it more if she'd have stayed home, provided she used her time somewhat productively. And a guy is less apt to cheat on his wife if she's there for him rather than away at work or always tired/too busy.
If you have kids and can manage to keep your house clean, cook home-cooked meals every night and go to work 40 hours a week outside your home then good for you - you must be a very organized energetic person
Many women in that position find themselves overwhelmed and not quite able to pull it off the way you can
Oh wait, I just reread...YOU DON"T HAVE KIDS YET, lolololololol
Honey, THAT"S why it seems so easy for you right now
No, no kids yet but my mom did it. Our house was always immaculate (which is where I get my neatnik bug from) I cannot deal with any kinds of clutter or mess. So while I know it won't be easy, I think its doable.
I find straightening up a little everyday helps. My hubs love to cook. Not me though.
Sorry, but you are dreaming. Raising kids is work in itself! If more ambitious, savvy, and highly intelligent woman stayed home, the crap they serve in school lunch rooms would not pass. Who is feeding your kids breakfast, lunch and after school snacks? We wonder why we have an epidemic of obesity. I used to work and send by dd to daycare. She used to fight and bite. Now that I take care of her all day, her hitting, and tanturms have turned to hugs and kisses. When I worked I never had time to visit my daughter's school. Now, I am there all the time. So guess what? I know what is going on at the school. I know who is getting bullied. Children don't raise themselves. Negative social influences during the formative years is a risk I wouldn't take with my little ones. Parents wake up, most kids spend 10 - 12 hours a day under someone elses care. My daughter's teacher said that some kids are already at school before she arrives and are still there when she leaves. How sad. I can go on and on. Staying home with my kids is the best decision I ever made.
I don't know why the wife should stay home. How about whatever parent wants to stay home?
One of my friends wants to be a Fortune 500 executive. Her husband said, once you get there I am staying home. I WANT to stay home with the kids. Right now he makes 20% more than she does, and he has been working another 7 years. She'll pass his salary in no time, and he plans on getting a fun job so he can stay home. She is not the SAHM type at all. She would feel tortured. And she hates cleaning and cooking anyway.
I would be lying if I said I never thought or worried about this especially when I watch Waiting to Exhale.At the end of the day, though, life is full of risks but it's like you said- it's every woman's choice to choose what risks we want to take. My husband can call me in the next hour and tell me he's done. My husband could die in the next hour and leave me a widow. Every second is a toss-up for everyone, everything and every possibility.
well I don't know if that's your situation or it's not -- I just know that it's not worth the risk for me personally. I'll keep a roof over my own head and have less worries. I just roll my eyes at the women with their noses in the air like, "Scoff. Well that's not my husband!" Like, oh really? I pray you're right. LOL. I agree that life is a toss up for the most part, but I don't throw all caution to the wind because of this.
I would prefer to be a SAHM (at least until the school years) However that is not an option for us right now. I try to look at the brightside of being a working mom. There are plenty of positives.
1. My hubby is less stressed about being the sole supporter of 5 of us. I can imagine that would feel like the weight of the world on my shoulders.
2. If my husband lost his job, we might have to give up a few luxuries but I could pay our bills.
3. I hope some day my daughters look back and are proud of me for balancing taking care of them as a parent and a provider.
4. I am thankful I have more to talk about than poopy diapers.
5. I feel that our toddler is actually thriving in a daycare.
6. Being a working mom this time around has taught me- It is about the quality of the time with your kids, not the quanity. I sometimes took my kids for granted as a SAHM because I simply got burned out. This time I realize the limited time with my toddler is PRECIOUS and make the most of it.
7.. If I were a SAHM, the budget cuts would not give us the oppourtunity to have the exprienceS with our children that we are able to now. I would literally be staying at home!
AND yes, there ARE moms who work full time and still have dinner ready for their families when their husband's come home. (most of the time). So yes, I still do "wife" things in addition to working.
The down side- at times it is VERY hard to balance & gets overwhelming.
I am enjoying reading men's takes on this subject though.
I have grown children. My ex worked days and I worked nights. My mom stayed at home until I was 12 my sister started school. My biggest memory was being sent outside to play and not seen until mealtimes. I would never want my wife to be a SAHW/SAHM. I don't want the burden of being the sole provider. It's not work to keep the house clean, IF everyone is pulling their weight. Now, you want a spotless house then it is work. Dad working long hours is bad for boys. Boys need their father's to teach them to act like men.
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