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I'm currently a SAHM. Well, sort of...I work 4 afternoons a week as a coach and I'm obtaining my masters degree at the same time. The afternoons I work are solely for my own sanity. Being home all day with no socialization is hard for me. I enjoy the break and my kids enjoy their babysitter immensely. I also make a little extra pocket money that I can spend on gifts for him and extravagant purchases for the home once I save the money (hubby doesn't like to buy furniture for our house that it still somewhat empty so I save the money and buy it for the house-which he does care about believe it or not).
Anyway, my husband makes a significant income. It's at least 6 times what I would make if I would go back to my job as a teacher right now. He also travels a lot which would make it hard to organize our schedules around the kids. It doesn't make sense to pay most of my salary as a teacher in order for someone else to teach and care for my own children. Hubby grew up with a SAHM and it's important to him that his kids have that as well. I don't love staying home. I'm happy I have the opportunity and am glad my kids have me there (i was in daycare as a young child and hated it), but once they're in school I look forward to resuming my career. I graduated with honors from a great university and want to use my education. Also, as a teacher, I will have similar hours as my kids do with all the same breaks. It's a perfect career for someone like me. I'm also hoping that my income will pad our retirement fund as well as the children's college funds. Most women I know as SAHMs have a return plan. None of them envision being stay home wives. We're all intelligent women who have decided to make a personal sacrifice to do what we feel is best for our kids. I'm aware many women don't share this sentiment and I do not look down on them at all. If I made 6 figures and had an established career, I doubt I would jeopardize it. In my case, I had children young and figured I could rebuild easily after the break.
I thought I did. But I was wrong. If a woman can stay at home full time, with or without kids, she is not a very interesting person. If she is, she will make mischief, which is probably worse.
Where in the world do you derive this information from?? Or perhaps you are just one of those folks who makes gross assumptions??
I have grown children. My ex worked days and I worked nights. My mom stayed at home until I was 12 my sister started school. My biggest memory was being sent outside to play and not seen until mealtimes. I would never want my wife to be a SAHW/SAHM. I don't want the burden of being the sole provider. It's not work to keep the house clean, IF everyone is pulling their weight. Now, you want a spotless house then it is work. Dad working long hours is bad for boys. Boys need their father's to teach them to act like men.
I sorry, what exactly constitutes acting like a man and how is it something that needs to be taught by a father?
Miss Crabcakes...I grew up in an entirely different environment than you... me and my friends all had moms who stayed at home....I don't agree with you when you say that one parent works and pays for everything...not at all....my mom may not have worked out of the house..but her work in the house was (at least) as valuable to our home as my "working" fathers was....I feel that she may not have "made" any money....but the money she "saved"..by staying home with us children, was huge...I feel that children should have at least one of their parents at home to guide them.....I also believe if you choose to stay home with the little ones yourself (rather than pay someone else)you'll have chosen the most difficult...yet rewarding job..you'll probably ever know.
Absolutely true. Children need that in the formative years. We can all learn to adjust to a lesser income level for the sake of being there for the kids.
I sorry, what exactly constitutes acting like a man and how is it something that needs to be taught by a father?
My husband, and most driven men like him, would not be working less if I worked. Instead we'd be fighting over whose job is going to suffer in order to accomplish XYZ for the kids.
On the other hand, I do agree that it's best for boys to have a good male role model. My husband spends loads of time with his kids on the weekend and alternates the bed time routine with me (he doesn't get home early enough to do much else). From him, my children will learn the value of working hard. From us, they'll learn that husbands and wives are partners and they make decisions that are best for the family as a whole.
If I could guarantee steady good paying employment rest of my life, sure, it would be ok, or me being the stay at home parent. But reality economically is that nothing like that is close to guaranteed. It's better to have 2 incomes, esp if both income are decent, for purposes of income diversification. Too much financial pressure otherwise especially in this day of employers laying you off for all kinds of reasons.
Ideally, both spouses would have 40 hour or less workweeks with decent incomes. Live on one of the incomes, save the rest, retire earlier than normal.
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