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Hey everyone! It's been awhile since I posted on here looking for relationship advice, but right now I'm going through a bump in my relationship. It's a long distance relationship, but I felt that we were meant for each other. I feel like she is the closest to the perfect girl I could find: she's beautiful, sweet, caring, has a great personality and sense of humor, and (I'll try to keep this PG-13) she is very satisfying in the bedroom, the best I ever had. The only problem is that she has PTSD from an experience in her past (she was a victim of a crime). A few times, she has had an episode for a few days at a time in which she is very depressed and acts very distant. This time, it has been really bad. I haven't even heard from for 2 days (we usually email each other once a day). Now I'm debating if I should stay with her or end our relationship now. Also, I've already bought a ring. Now I'm thinking I should return it.
The major red flag here is using the term "perfect" to describe a person or a relationship. No one is perfect and no relationship is either. Even wonderful marriages are far from "perfect."
If you have a long distance relationship, that's another red flag. You buy a ring and then think to return it because your GF is depressed for a couple of days? Sorry, you are emphatically NOT ready for engagement or marriage. What in the world do you think marriage is? It doesn't mean sex 6 times a day, lounging by the ocean, no troubles, a "perfect" life with no stress. In a marriage, what are you going to do if your spouse experiences a tragedy and is depressed for a year? Or more? What if they're hit by a car and end up paralyzed? Just blithely walk out the door because they're not "perfect?"
God... so many red flags. Please don't get married to anyone until you take off the rose-colored glasses.
Perhaps you should go read marriage vows - for better or worse, in sickness and in health...you're ready to dump an amazing person because she's dealing with post traumatic stress? Wow...she's going through a rough patch and needs some alone time for a few days so you're ready to take the ring back? You sound extremely selfish. The hard times are when someone needs you the most. It's easy to love someone when they're at their best.
Do this woman a favor and take the ring back. Then she'll be free to find someone a little more understanding who doesn't only want her when she's able to be "perfect".
In sickness & in health, thru good times & bad. Can't handle those rules then no point I proposing. Try learning about PTSD, what her triggers are & how to help her thru those periods instead of running.
You KNOW she deals with PTSD. You have all the internet to learn what is happening and what isn't. I guarantee you that if someone I had bought a ring for was dealing with this kind of situation, I would be camped out near enough to be there for her. Even if she said "Stay away" my response would be "I'll be at the Holiday Inn down the road if you want me for anything......even if it is just to talk."
Yeah, break it off now. Take the ring back.
Mod cut: personal attack.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 05-01-2012 at 07:32 AM..
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