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I've run across this three times now since the first of this year. Older men, almost 50 and above, raising a young child.
One was 53 with an 8 year old; one 49 with a 4 year old, and a 55 year old with a 6 year old.
All of these men have grown children and grandchildren. These young children were the result of a relationship/hook up with a girl 20 years younger then them and the mothers signed over custody and left.
Is this a new trend or am I just the lucky one running into this?
I've run across this three times now since the first of this year. Older men, almost 50 and above, raising a young child.
One was 53 with an 8 year old; one 49 with a 4 year old, and a 55 year old with a 6 year old.
All of these men have grown children and grandchildren. These young children were the result of a relationship/hook up with a girl 20 years younger then them and the mothers signed over custody and left.
Is this a new trend or am I just the lucky one running into this?
Its on the rise, for sure. Friend of mine, raised his 3 daughters on his own; then met a woman 20 years younger who wanted more kids. He's got custody of those 2 as well, she took off & he's back at square one- with little ones in his late 40's.
Men in their 40's still raising little ones-- thanks, but no thanks
I think there IS something of a trend, although I see mixed reasons behind it.
The ones you described were the results of hookups with younger women, per your post.
I've seen a couple of those, but mostly what I've seen are men (my age, for example, 44 and raising a 4-year-old) who are waiting until later in life to even HAVE children.
This, coupled with the slowly changing legal/political tides, so that men are now ABLE more and more to obtain custody.
It's a thing the argumentative LOVE to argue, but there was a time in fairly RECENT years when it was still simply "understood" that children BELONG with the mother, almost regardless.
That is changing drastically these days as more and more men obtain custody. Men, once believed "incapable" of raising a child out of anything other than absolute necessity, have proved this exceedingly WRONG.
It is also changing as more and more women are seeking careers (and nothing wrong with it at all) and are willing to give up custody since it would potentially hinder those careers. It was once unacceptable for women to give up custody; a woman who did so was automatically labeled a "bad mother and a bad person". That is less and less the case these days. I still hear it some and wish it would just go away; it's stupid to say this.
There are lots of motivating factors behind what you're seeing.
I think there IS something of a trend, although I see mixed reasons behind it.
The ones you described were the results of hookups with younger women, per your post.
I've seen a couple of those, but mostly what I've seen are men (my age, for example, 44 and raising a 4-year-old) who are waiting until later in life to even HAVE children.
This, coupled with the slowly changing legal/political tides, so that men are now ABLE more and more to obtain custody.
It's a thing the argumentative LOVE to argue, but there was a time in fairly RECENT years when it was still simply "understood" that children BELONG with the mother, almost regardless.
That is changing drastically these days as more and more men obtain custody. Men, once believed "incapable" of raising a child out of anything other than absolute necessity, have proved this exceedingly WRONG.
It is also changing as more and more women are seeking careers (and nothing wrong with it at all) and are willing to give up custody since it would potentially hinder those careers. It was once unacceptable for women to give up custody; a woman who did so was automatically labeled a "bad mother and a bad person". That is less and less the case these days. I still hear it some and wish it would just go away; it's stupid to say this.
There are lots of motivating factors behind what you're seeing.
I would have loved nothing more than for this to happen.
I raised 3 daughters as a single father. It was frustrating,marvelous,exasperating,fun,exhausting, wonderful,nerve racking,hilarious.I dont know what words I could choose to explain what a dads heart feels like to have his 3 little girls all fall asleep on his lap at the same time. It is at these times that I was sure I was raising 3 little angels. Then they woke up!!!!!!!!!!! But I wouldnt change a darn thing!
Meaning that if my wife had decided to leave me raising my boys alone for her own professional/personal reasons, I would have been fine with it.
I also wished that it would have been possible for me to win custody of my kids had we gone the divorce route when they were younger. Not to say it would not have been possible, just that it was (and is) far from a sure thing.
I raised 3 daughters as a single father. It was frustrating,marvelous,exasperating,fun,exhausting, wonderful,nerve racking,hilarious.I dont know what words I could choose to explain what a dads heart feels like to have his 3 little girls all fall asleep on his lap at the same time. It is at these times that I was sure I was raising 3 little angels. Then they woke up!!!!!!!!!!! But I wouldnt change a darn thing!
Just dropped in, And your post was wonderful, So positive and shows what a great dad you are. I am childless and single but have been thinking more about this at 36 years old.** I could very well be an "older" dad. Kudos Captain!!
I raised 3 daughters as a single father. It was frustrating,marvelous,exasperating,fun,exhausting, wonderful,nerve racking,hilarious.I dont know what words I could choose to explain what a dads heart feels like to have his 3 little girls all fall asleep on his lap at the same time. It is at these times that I was sure I was raising 3 little angels. Then they woke up!!!!!!!!!!! But I wouldnt change a darn thing!
You're a good man Capt. Dan. I always tell people, the only man that never let me down is my father.
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But I wouldnt change a darn thing!
