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HE IS VERY UPSET!!! He doesnt know if and when his parents will ever come around. He is saying he is putting my feelings above theirs. But I dont agree with him on that. Because he is their only and 1st born son and his parents would be pissed if they werent even invited to the wedding. Even though they are not thrilled about his choice. I actually told him that I want them to be included in the wedding.
He is just trying to make me happy. And I am just dying because I just want his parents to just accept me as their own. That is not happening anytime soon. : (
This is one of those situations that no one person can fix on their own I'm afraid.
You can only lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
His parents are going to do what they are going to do - so you just have to go forward and live your lives together.
If he were not putting your feelings first, then I'd say 'run' and do not marry him. But since you say he is, then he is on the right track to being his own man.
Forget the oldest/firstborn thing - that does not matter in American culture.
When you see the parents, be polite and friendly, never aggressive or rude.
In time when they see how happy he is with you and how well you treat him, they may come around.
But you can't live your whole life waiting for that to happen, since it might not.
Many parents initial reaction to the woman their son choses is not the best. This could happen if you were a person of their own race too. I believe they will get past it.
If he has chosen you, then he should stand beside you and support you, no matter what his parents say. If he does not, then he is not the partner you want.
Just be yourself. Be polite. It is up to them to adjust.
HE IS VERY UPSET!!! He doesnt know if and when his parents will ever come around. He is saying he is putting my feelings above theirs. But I dont agree with him on that. Because he is their only and 1st born son and his parents would be pissed if they werent even invited to the wedding. Even though they are not thrilled about his choice. I actually told him that I want them to be included in the wedding.
He is just trying to make me happy.
And I am just dying because I just want his parents to just accept me as their own. That is not happening anytime soon. : (
Trying to make you happy is all you can ask for of your fiance in a situation like this.
He is not his parents or their thoughts, thats the part you're not accepting.
It is what it is.... and the undue stress of acceptance on the level you want will eventually take its toll on the relationship.
Of course they should be included in the wedding, but you realize it is their choice if they don't, and sadly, you have to accept it and let it go.
You can make this much worse for your finace as well as yourself by harping on his parents lack of interest and your own parents too. That will be your choice.
Trying to make you happy is all you can ask for of your fiance in a situation like this.
He is not his parents or their thoughts, thats the part you're not accepting.
It is what it is.... and the undue stress of acceptance on the level you want will eventually take its toll on the relationship.
Of course they should be included in the wedding, but you realize it is their choice if they don't, and sadly, you have to accept it and let it go.
You can make this much worse for your finace as well as yourself by harping on his parents lack of interest and your own parents as well. That will be your choice.
Ok.
My parents LOVE HIM. At first, they were bothered by the fact he wasnt korean. But they got over it. They are very religious. That is the #1... The fact he is a christian...they are happy with that.
Ok.
My parents LOVE HIM. At first, they were bothered by the fact he wasnt korean. But they got over it. They are very religious. That is the #1... The fact he is a christian...they are happy with that.
Theres one blessing Thats 1/2 of the parental approval battle you wont need to worry with.
As another poster said, its not uncommon for parental disapproval of partners even within the same race, happens all the time.
Have you tried arranging a dinner between your parents and his or would an arrangement like that be out of the question right now?
That is kinda out of the question since his parents are not so thrilled about me. I don't think the fact his parents met mine will help change their mind.
That is kinda out of the question since his parents are not so thrilled about me. I don't think the fact his parents met mine will help change their mind.
Well, their loss and again, I wouldn't take it personally.
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Thats 1/2 of the parental approval battle you wont need to worry with.
