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... Also, 100+ years ago, if an older male dated a girl in her teens, they were getting married, that would not be the case today and would likely give the young female the impression that they are sex objects.
...
Suppose a guy around 30 years of age of today's era though, really did truly and genuinely want to marry a girl in the age bracket of around say 19 -21 or thereabouts? With the true intentions of a real and loving marriage -- and *not* as a raw intimate object -- but as a beloved and most lovingly treasured and adored wife? If he wants to marry her, and love and cherish her, for the rest of his life, committed exclusively in love only to her, why is it sometimes thought of as wrong or "creepy" today, if it was considered culturally acceptable 100 years ago, as cited above?
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-27-2012 at 03:11 PM..
Reason: Adds/Edits
Suppose a guy around 30 years of age of today's era though, really did truly and genuinely want to marry a girl in the age bracket of around say 19 -21 or thereabouts? With the true intentions of a real and loving marriage -- and *not* as a raw intimate object -- but as a beloved and most lovingly treasured and adored wife? If he wants to marry her, and love and cherish her, for the rest of his life, committed exclusively in love only to her, why is it sometimes thought of as wrong or "creepy" today, if it was considered culturally acceptable 100 years ago, as cited above?
12 years is a large age gap in our modern times because women have more options and choices on how they want to live their lives. They don't need men to direct their lives and that's what a 12 year age spread would create for a female, it would create male control over her life.
She may want to pursue an education before she's married and saddled with having children, fundamentalist Mormons marry them young and those females have no choices either.
It's creepy because in the late 20th century and early 21st century we allow our children the freedom to live without the care or thought of being married before they finish their education and saddle themselves down with a husband so many years older than they are. They don't have the pressures that our great great grandparents had to find a mate and start a family, when it was simply "understood" that once you hit puberty you're of marriage age.
12 years is a large age gap in our modern times because women have more options and choices on how they want to live their lives. They don't need men to direct their lives and that's what a 12 year age spread would create for a female, it would create male control over her life.
Just to play the devil's advocate again for a moment...what if, though, he has no desire whatsoever, to control her? If she is treated a full 100% equal and as a peer to him, with exactly the same social standing and authority and influence-making potential, for said theoretical intended marriage example?
Quote:
She may want to pursue an education before she's married and saddled with having children, fundamentalist Mormons marry them young and those females have no choices either.
OK...but again, what if instead of trying to curb or prevent her educational potential, he were to strongly encourage her education, and her career? If he waited until she finished her education, being emotionally supportive of her career goals, to have children? Anyway just a thought...
Quote:
It's creepy because in the late 20th century and early 21st century we allow our children the freedom to live without the care or thought of being married before they finish their education and saddle themselves down with a husband so many years older than they are. They don't have the pressures that our great great grandparents had to find a mate and start a family, when it was simply "understood" that once you hit puberty you're of marriage age.
Again see item above...not all 30-ish guys will try to control a devoted beloved who is say 19-21...not all guys will try to pressure her to have children prematurely either, or ask her to sacrifice her own education or career goal dreams...
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 03-27-2012 at 06:43 PM..
Reason: Corrections
1. 30-year-old male to date a 14-year-old female? The female is fully developed. They are waiting until marriage to have sex, which is 16 in her state.
2. 42-year-old male to be checking out (lustfully) a precocious 13-year-old girl with full knowledge of her age (e.g. a softball coach, teacher, etc.)?
3. A 47-year-old "cougar" to be dating a 19-year-old male?
What would your reactions to these things be?
#1 and #2. is JAIL.......
#3. is Ok as they are both adults. It won't last due to age difference and gravity and wrinkles. Let the cougar have her fun while she can.
Geez, when I saw this title I thought it would be about adult age gaps. I was going to comment as my husband is 19 years older then me, but I am 37 and he is 56. We are ADULTS. You are talking about 13 and 14 year old girls. Please get help or call the police.
[quote=LuckyGem;23597049]12 years is a large age gap in our modern times because women have more options and choices on how they want to live their lives. They don't need men to direct their lives and that's what a 12 year age spread would create for a female, it would create male control over her life.
This is not necessarily true, esp if the couple is older. My husband is 19 years older then me but I'm 37 and I can assure you that I am a professional and he absolutely does not control me. We make decisions together, like the adult partners we are. I imagine this is more of an issue if the woman is very young or if the man out earns her by a lot because then you have a fundamental imbalance in the relationship and that's not good for any couple, regardless of the age difference.
1. 30-year-old male to date a 14-year-old female? The female is fully developed. They are waiting until marriage to have sex, which is 16 in her state.
2. 42-year-old male to be checking out (lustfully) a precocious 13-year-old girl with full knowledge of her age (e.g. a softball coach, teacher, etc.)?
3. A 47-year-old "cougar" to be dating a 19-year-old male?
What would your reactions to these things be?
1. i think refraining from sex until marriage is weird, especially if it's for two years. i would question the sanity of the 30 year old and the parents of the 14 year old.
2. normal for most males.
3. kinda weird and unnatural but whatever. maybe he's getting paid?
Okay, as a parent of a 14 year old girl, off with their "little heads".
As a 14 year old girl, at one time myself, dating an older man is much better than a younger man. And you KNOW when an older man is watching you, you like it, and act just a bit more provocative, swinging your hair around, bending over to tie your shoes, pretending not to notice his eyes are glued to you...you like it.
A woman who wants a 19 year old...more power to them. I would not interfere if my son was dating a woman my age, but I doubt it would last, I know my sons, they would enjoy an older woman for awhile, until the novelty wore off, and she became controlling, or something, then they would be out of there like a shot. One of my sons did date an older woman for awhile, he said he got turned off when she tried to act too young, and dress too young. Go figure it...my son, the "fashion police".
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With the true intentions of a real and loving marriage -- and *not* as a raw intimate object -- but as a beloved and most lovingly treasured and adored wife? If he wants to marry her, and love and cherish her, for the rest of his life, committed exclusively in love only to her, why is it sometimes thought of as wrong or "creepy" today, if it was considered culturally acceptable 100 years ago, as cited above?
