To: cheaters

[YaFace]

Nope, no variety in sex here!

[JasperJade]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

We all know stealing is wrong, physically hurting someone is wrong, bullying is wrong, verbal abuse is wrong, but when it comes to cheating, somehow right and wrong gets blurred.

eh, its simple selfishness and that's-that, really...it is. A cheater can avoid hurting someone by just simply doing the right thing, but doing something right, becomes very difficult when selfishness comes into play.

Pretty much.

Cheating is a sign there is something wrong in the relationship. Assuming the agreed-upon terms of the relationship are monogamy and fidelity, the honorable choices are:

1. Discuss and work through the issues with your partner

2. Leave

If option 1 doesn't work, then go with option 2. Or just skip right to option 2.

That's it. No in-between.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by AQHA

I'm a 38 year old male. I have never cheated but there are times I have been tempted to try it. Once it was right in front of me and the invitation was made-- man, it was hard, I just love women. I turned it down and I'm glad I did. I'm really not a moral or religious person at all but if I cheated on my wife I WOULD KNOW, and I don't know if I could live with that. I have a good wife who I dearly love, I just could not cross that line.

Being True to your wife, is being true to yourself...a value hard to find in this world....today...your definitely a good catch!

[cremebrulee]

My ex, cheated, only b/c he could....there was nothing wrong with our relationship, but he had severe mental problems. He was a control freak, and both his father and uncle cheated and told him it was ok to do so, as long as you take care of your wife and treat her good. And they told him to never ever admit to cheating....
It was an awful time...
Never again....

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by qworldorder

I see a lot of people are putting a lot of emotions into this thread (not an insult, just an observation). But is it possible for one to cheat and not have it mean anything, emotionally? A previous poster used an example of eating spaghetti every day and wanting more variety. Can someone still be a loving spouse, but engage in extramarital sex purely just to engage in something different? Sex with no deeper meaning? Does that always have to indicate something is 'wrong' with their partner/relationship? Or can it just be sex for variety's sake? If done safely and discreetly, is having and eating your cake too still wrong? And what's the point of no return? One time? Ten? Should one talk about having an 'open' marriage, even if that mere suggestion would cause unnecessary strife (assuming said cheater really would never get caught)? Isn't ignorance bliss in some cases? I'm posing these questions (which I honestly don't have answers for, not just to be flippant) because I'm not sure cheating is as black and white as many people on here have stated.

Yes, if the partner knows it and agrees, otherwise, no...

When someone cheats, it's not only about them, but about everyone who loves them, including their mom and dad, friends, relatives...you put everyone in a position where they have to choose....and you hurt so many people, especially if there are children involved.

Ignorance is not bliss....and if someone goes that far, then to me, it is a very selfish act...not in the least concerned for the hearts of others, and believe you me, you do break hearts....some people can never return from that kind of hurt to try again....with anyone.

It is a life changing act, which isn't to be taken lightly....

[NoNansea]

In most relationships, cheating is a betrayal. You believe you & your partner have a special, intimate bond that is only between the two of you & no one else. When one cheats/betrays/breaks that bond, the intimacy & trust within that relationship disappear immediately & forever.