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do you agree or not that for the few women who married a man who can care less for sex, may have their ego hurt when they finally have to do something to get sex other than say "yes/no" to their guy?
Women have said a man should help around the house, be romantic, take her out, put some effort, etc. to get sex. What would the few women who married a man who can care less about sex have to do to get sex then?
Okay. Perhaps this has been discussed before, i dont know. But, it is no secret at all that men complain that once they get married, the sex drops off. A good portion of them say its like once a month, if that.
What is the reason for this? Now, I know that if folks have small kids, they cant be at it like rabbits all the time. Is this the reason? Does kids make your sex life null and void? Does working make it null and void..what?
And for the people that do it only like once every two months, is that REALLY all about kids? And what about people whose kids are older? Like in their teens? Or what about people whose kids are grown..18, 19?
Men, do you feel like your wives, or your friends wives, whatever, just turn their men away because they can? What do you hear at the water cooler about why some married couples arent getting it? A couple that is going through marital problems is obvious... I mean just everyday couples who are fairly stable.
The reasons are many, and many reasons may combine in a relationship.
The business about help around the house is a red herring. That is what she THINKS she wants. What she really wants is the perception of being valued and cared for.
One of the main reasons for the drop off in sex, in my opinion, is the loss of the male attraction. When I first read about this on another forum, I thought these guys were sexist aholes. But the more I read, the more sense it makes. If a guy is a Nice Guy (conflict averse, yes dear man), he will eventually lose his wife's raw sexual desire. If this man is repeatedly failing "fitness tests", she will lose her raw sexual interest.
Another possible dynamic is the lack of understanding of the value and perception both genders bring to sex. Often men achieve connection and intimacy THROUGH sexuality. A woman often needs to feel the connection and intimacy to achieve the sexual desire. She is trying to say I need love, I need love (which to confuse matters she might confuse with acts of service like helping around the house), and he is like yah that is what I want to give you. And to her that feels like, all he ever wants is sex. Doesn't he LOVE me?
Personally, I see it as part of my willing job as a wife to be available for my husband sexually. .
I agree, and you obviously get it. The problem however, from what I have seen, is that Western women don't see it that way.
Western women look at being available for husbands sexually as some sort of inferior position (just like staying home to cook and clean), so sex comes down to only when they want to be pleasured, or when they want to make babies; that's it.
Also, sex is used as a means to control men, so if women give men all the sex they want, they will no longer have the same leval of control over men....
Married men should ask themselves what they are not doing for their wife when there is no sex, which is not really that shocking to hear.
I totally disagree with this. There seems to be this ridiculous notion that a lot of married men have that basically says this: "Boy, if I do the dishes and make a meal and vacuum, my wife will be horny and I can have sex!"
It's a totally wrong mindset. A woman who wants sex, wants sex. I don't care whether my husband cooks or not, cleans or not or takes out the trash. I'm still having sex with him because I want to! Sex is not something to be bartered in a marriage.
And I can only reiterate that almost as many men withhold sex in a marriage as women. And it has nothing to do with the wife getting fat or letting herself go.
Right now, I have a married couple who are friends. The wife was a catalogue model for years. She's 42 and could pass for 30. Fabulous figure, active, fit, makes $150,000 a year. Her husband has not initiated sex with her (she tells me) in years. She has to pester him for it and he often has an excuse. And no, he's not gay. He just has a low libido. Millions of men have that as well. It's not just women.
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it's a totally wrong mindset. A woman who wants sex, wants sex. i don't care whether my husband cooks or not, cleans or not or takes out the trash. I'm still having sex with him because i want to! Sex is not something to be bartered in a marriage.
I totally disagree with this. There seems to be this ridiculous notion that a lot of married men have that basically says this: "Boy, if I do the dishes and make a meal and vacuum, my wife will be horny and I can have sex!"
No. It’s not like a magic formula to follow that will get a woman’s juices flowing. It’s more of her being too tired for what she did in the house (even with no children about).
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It's a totally wrong mindset. A woman who wants sex, wants sex. I don't care whether my husband cooks or not, cleans or not or takes out the trash. I'm still having sex with him because I want to!
That’s right. Single women will make time regardless of having exams in college. They will either do it with their partner or go solo but they will make time to relief that sexual stress/urge (yes people, women have them too believe it or not).
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Millions of men have that as well. It's not just women.
A lot of men, sure, but I wonder if it’s really as many men as women who reject sex.
And other links were also shared that showed it was the other way around.
Interesting thing is that women are the ones that normally say "Oh, our sex is fine really" when in reality it may not be so to the husbands. It's like men saying "Oh, I am romantic with my wife" but ask those married woman if that is true. See what I mean? Maybe the husband feels that sending a text message makes him romantic and therefore he thinks romance is just fine. Maybe the wife feels sex is just fine just because they have sex a few times a month. What is "fine" for one person may not be for the other.
No they weren't. Or at least not to my knowledge. As I've also mentioned in the past I think there is something to the sexual interest singles have for the sex lives of the married. If there was nothing to it these threads wouldn't be lead by single men such as yourself. Correct?
Country men aren't wound tighter than a kite string. We all like the same stuff. My youngest buddy is 30. The oldest "good" buddy is 75...and everyone else is in that range. I have some older friends but they don't get out much anymore. Some have some heath problems. What do you expect when you are 85 to 95?
It's pretty much your links vs mine kind of thing. The battle of the links maybe .
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As I've also mentioned in the past I think there is something to the sexual interest singles have for the sex lives of the married. If there was nothing to it these threads wouldn't be lead by single men such as yourself. Correct?
Singles, married, divorced, etc. participate in this and other threads so I don't understand where you are trying to get. And it goes to the same thing: women lose interest for sex once they get married (truth or not).
Anyways, women have said a man should help around the house, be romantic, take her out, put some effort, etc. to get sex. What would the few women who married a man who can care less about sex have to do to get sex then?
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And to her that feels like, all he ever wants is sex. Doesn't he LOVE me?
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