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Hi everyone, I have this friend that I've known for four years. I've always had feelings for her, but it seemed like each time something might happen one of us was dating someone else or just the timing was off and I never really told her how I felt because I didn't want things to get weird and for her to stop wanting to hang out. Anyways, last night I ran into her while she was out with a couple of girlfriends. They were coming from a fundraiser and having a few drinks. They had rented a room in a hotel so they didn't have to drive home.
She invited me to come over when the bar closed as they were going to continue the party. I went over and she asked if I wanted to crash there. Her friends crashed and the two of us were up talking. I told her that I valued our friendship and didn't want to ever do anything to jeapoardize that, but I've had feelings for her for a while and wondered if she ever saw us as being together.
She said she has always been attracted to me and might be open to it, but doesn't want a relationship right now. By this time it was like 4 AM and I had to be up in a couple of hours so we crashed (in the same bed, but nothing happened, heh heh).
So, does this mean I should drop it? Should I just keep hanging out with her and see if she brings it up? I really think this person could be special, but I don't want to just wait around if nothing is going to happen....Thanks in advance for your replies!
Hi everyone, I have this friend that I've known for four years. I've always had feelings for her, but it seemed like each time something might happen one of us was dating someone else or just the timing was off and I never really told her how I felt because I didn't want things to get weird and for her to stop wanting to hang out. Anyways, last night I ran into her while she was out with a couple of girlfriends. They were coming from a fundraiser and having a few drinks. They had rented a room in a hotel so they didn't have to drive home.
She invited me to come over when the bar closed as they were going to continue the party. I went over and she asked if I wanted to crash there. Her friends crashed and the two of us were up talking. I told her that I valued our friendship and didn't want to ever do anything to jeapoardize that, but I've had feelings for her for a while and wondered if she ever saw us as being together.
She said she has always been attracted to me and might be open to it, but doesn't want a relationship right now. By this time it was like 4 AM and I had to be up in a couple of hours so we crashed (in the same bed, but nothing happened, heh heh).
So, does this mean I should drop it? Should I just keep hanging out with her and see if she brings it up? I really think this person could be special, but I don't want to just wait around if nothing is going to happen....Thanks in advance for your replies!
Was she drunk??? keep hanging out with her. But sooner or later you gotta bring it up again so you can get closure for good.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
You'll be better off if you approach any romantic relationship from the perspective of being friends first, lovers second. That's what they say about the strongest marriages.
Hi everyone, I have this friend that I've known for four years. I've always had feelings for her, but it seemed like each time something might happen one of us was dating someone else or just the timing was off and I never really told her how I felt because I didn't want things to get weird and for her to stop wanting to hang out. Anyways, last night I ran into her while she was out with a couple of girlfriends. They were coming from a fundraiser and having a few drinks. They had rented a room in a hotel so they didn't have to drive home.
She invited me to come over when the bar closed as they were going to continue the party. I went over and she asked if I wanted to crash there. Her friends crashed and the two of us were up talking. I told her that I valued our friendship and didn't want to ever do anything to jeapoardize that, but I've had feelings for her for a while and wondered if she ever saw us as being together.
She said she has always been attracted to me and might be open to it, but doesn't want a relationship right now. By this time it was like 4 AM and I had to be up in a couple of hours so we crashed (in the same bed, but nothing happened, heh heh).
So, does this mean I should drop it? Should I just keep hanging out with her and see if she brings it up? I really think this person could be special, but I don't want to just wait around if nothing is going to happen....Thanks in advance for your replies!
It is best to wait until everyone is sober to bring up anything else again. Wait and see what she says in the near future if anything and go from there.
You'll be better off if you approach any romantic relationship from the perspective of being friends first, lovers second. That's what they say about the strongest marriages.
bingo. My husband to be: I had liked him for the longest time before we engaged. Ihave known him since jr high and we went to high school together. But we were never really friends. He was friendly to me. Even post high school: he still had a hold of me that I couldnt completely shake off even though I dated other people. When I saw him at the high school reunion: it was sparks for me all over again. I was like Damn. Then we exchanged numbers. Nothing happened and but we were friends. I made sure we were friends. BUT DAMN that was ****in hard as ****. I wanted to be more than that.
I would bring it up again after the dust settles. You are feeling too vulnerable right now after showing your hand to have a conversation with her about it. You also want to have some time and space between this drunken revelation and your next conversation with her about the topic. In the meantime, keep hanging out with her as a friend and don't bring it up until you feel ready to (and you gauge she is ready as well). And don't bring it up when you guys are drunk. No one is thinking straight when the booze is flowing.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarahpc122927
bingo. My husband to be: I had liked him for the longest time before we engaged. Ihave known him since jr high and we went to high school together. But we were never really friends. He was friendly to me. Even post high school: he still had a hold of me that I couldnt completely shake off even though I dated other people. When I saw him at the high school reunion: it was sparks for me all over again. I was like Damn. Then we exchanged numbers. Nothing happened and but we were friends. I made sure we were friends. BUT DAMN that was ****in hard as ****. I wanted to be more than that.
Yes I think partly due to the influence of the media there's this idea that you're either passionately in love or hate each other's guts, like you can't remain friends after an amiable break-up. Why can't friendships be the basis for more romantic relationships?
She said she "might be open to it"...but not right now....so you should just think the same, and in the mean-time keep looking and dating....if she comes back to you,fine....if not...no harm done.
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bingo. My husband to be: I had liked him for the longest time before we engaged. Ihave known him since jr high and we went to high school together. But we were never really friends. He was friendly to me. Even post high school: he still had a hold of me that I couldnt completely shake off even though I dated other people. When I saw him at the high school reunion: it was sparks for me all over again. I was like Damn. Then we exchanged numbers. Nothing happened and but we were friends. I made sure we were friends. BUT DAMN that was ****in hard as ****. I wanted to be more than that.
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