Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Only name calling? Being told to F...off, called a F....ing *****....being pushed about, emotional abuse (my dad had a heart attack and was in hospital last year, he didn't come with me to visit, in fact...he ignored me for 3 days), venting at my daughter...telling her she is wrong at everything....telling her that if her parents split up she better run. Being told to shut up constantly, mind games...nice one minute...next nasty.....in the past...hair pulled, stones thrown, slapped, kicked.
Its been tough. Not normal rough and tumble fighting between spouses...NO...this is not love and if it is, you know what? I don't want it.
I stayed too long. Stayed because I didn't want my husband to have part custody, not feed them, and me being away from my children would have been tough. Either way was tough, but now, I CAN go. So I will. Tonight, hubby giving me the sad eye routine. I haven't told him that I am going, he still thinks we are buying a house together...hahaha....bloody hahaha....
When he finds out **** will hit the fan.
But for now, I have the sad eyes, quiet routine. I know his game. He says he has changed, but I just don't believe it. I think he has a screw loose.
I want my life back.
You say you think he has changed, but its been a few months. That's a long time to keep up with an act. And if all he is doing is cussing, it's rude and mean, but there are women that get beat up, life threatened and are too scared to do anything about it.
Oh my goodness. I cannot for the life of me imagine being in your shoes. Your life must feel like being in the middle of a hurricane, up and down up and down without control, reaching for the life vest that is just out of reach. It's hard enough when you get divorced (you go through every emotion you have, seemingly every 5 minutes) but to to be married and have this on a daily basis??? I cannot imagine. It's no wonder the guy from your church gave you a few fleeting moments of peace. Your husband is a tool, and it's not your job to try to fix him, or to give him never ending chances to change himself. As to your poor daughter? In my opinion it is NEVER acceptable to tell your child 'I don't like you'. Unconventional love precludes that.
You have already (thankfully) made the decision to leave. Stick with it, STICK WITH IT, and start building a support around you. If that includes coming here and venting, DO IT!! Speak with your family or friends, and get their support. You've been jerked around so long, I'm sure you don't know what it's like to not be on adrenalin, but trust me, it gets better.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
Thanks. I am just being a martyr...yes. But I have seen a change in my husband...I wanted him to build fences with his daughter. Martyred for her seemed worth it....but it just is not...not when I catch him mouthing I don't Like you behind my back at her!!!!
Sorry to those who are fed up with this never ending drama!!!!! But my head goes round and round.....I go through thinking I must forgive him...to thinking I just cannot go on living a lie. but now...with my daughter having THAT.....it makes my blood boil and it makes me ice cold at the same time.
It is just so nasty! My dad...a strong christian said........"old habits die hard...tell him gently not to do that"
I said "Dad I am not sacrificing my daughter on the alter of Religious sensibility"
Anyway...if I get on your t%"&s dont read the post. I just wanted to let those people know who advised me and helped me....what was happening.
I truly hope next year will be a new start. We all have problems. I know that. I dont want to hog the Citydata forum.....and I will have good news soon.
What an ******* of a man. The sooner you leave the better, leopards seldom change their spots and you have just witnessed it first hand. I cannot believe what a nasty piece of dirt he is to his own daughter. Unbelievable.
Well, you can truly say that you did your best and tried as much as anyone could ask. You can get out with no doubts and a clear conscience. I think that was what made you go back anyway. You didn't feel like you had done EVERYTHING in your power to try to make it work.
Well, now you have.
Don't forget, your daughter is watching you to see what kind of behavior is appropriate for HER husband. If you don't leave, you could be setting her up for a lifetime of misery.
It seems to me that you can be easily swayed. While you said he's changed, this is an indication he can and will revert. You were lucky when you caught him mouthing words behind your back. How many time might you have missed it or something else? Have you asked your daughter if this was the first time he's done it since you got back together? Whatever she tells you, have you noticed any behavior changes in her? It sounds like you've given him until the house is ready before you decide. During this time, you need to give him opportunities to fail. Otherwise, if he reverts later, you could find yourself locked in with him for much longer period and that won't do your kids any good.
My mom stayed in a similar relationship, my dad was kind of a d*ck to me while I was growing up. As soon as they divorced when I was 22, my relationship improved significantly with my father. I think he couldn't relate to me while I was growing up and he was unhappy being married to my mom, so he just acted like a jerk. Maybe the same will happen for you but all you're doing by staying, taking him back, leaving, repeating the cycle is putting your kids in the middle of a volatile situation. It takes more than a few months for someone to really change.
Good grief, what else is he doing and saying to her behind your back. The only way I would stay is it there is a risk that he might want visitation with your daughter. It would be worth putting up with him to spare her that.
Can you please get out now for the sake of your daughter? Even though the abuse has already occured, perhaps you getting out now will give her a sense that she can also be strong.
My father was abusive to my mom and me. She stayed with him until his death. Even after my father suffered a stroke and was disabled, my father had my mom working her ass off, ridiculing her, and calling her names. She took care of him no matter what. That abuse affected me. I have a low self esteem and I keep going for the same type of man (similar to my father). Before, I thought my mom was a strong woman for staying in the marriage for the kids, but now when I look back, I wish she had left. Perhaps if she had left earlier, I wouldn't have been so badly affected. Perhaps she would've been happier as well.
I'm sorry, but I am getting tired of reading your updates. It's always the same. It's like the daytime soap operas where you can miss a year's worth of viewing, and when you finally watch it again, nothing has really changed. The viewers are still trying to find out who the father of the baby is. In your case, you're still with your husband and you still haven't left him.
Next time you update us, show us your signed divorce papers, and tell us that you have moved far away from this man once and for all.
OK......ok........its old news. When there is new news I will be back. Sorry you suffered. Over and out. xxx
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
