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Old 03-27-2012, 11:10 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,209,284 times
Reputation: 11862

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
There have always been 40 year old virgins and there have always been single people. These things just weren't talked about - or they were talked about behind closed doors. It's just like women have always gotten their period, there have always been illegitimate children, there have always been homosexuals, and people have always had sex. These things just weren't talked about and now they are.
Yes, but the fact that we have more freedom to choose not to get married has ironically meant that less dateable folk are probably getting laid yes since back then marriage was what virtually everyone did. Single folk were seen as weird.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:11 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,768,772 times
Reputation: 20396
Oh my god, not yet another "it was so much better back in the days" thread.

OP, you really need to get out and start living instead of this endless ruminating you'll doing. You're starting to sound like city_data91 and that is NOT a compliment.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:13 AM
 
2,472 posts, read 3,205,995 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Not what I said at all. I'm talking about the stage before.
Oh, I guess I just imagined the part in your original post about people wanting marriage having more purpose.

It doesn't matter how the courting process is done. If two people agree to meet in a bathroom, it still doesn't matter, because people have the freedom to live however they want.

The courting/marriage process may have seemed better then, because of the rampant sexism and more patriarchal society. Those women and men knew they were going to have established roles before they even started dating. It was only an established process of the male impressing the female and vice versa so they could fit into their neat little world like they were taught.

But that is all we're doing, so one method isn't better than another because it is all for the same purpose of living your life.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:27 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,209,284 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aganusn View Post
Oh, I guess I just imagined the part in your original post about people wanting marriage having more purpose.

It doesn't matter how the courting process is done. If two people agree to meet in a bathroom, it still doesn't matter, because people have the freedom to live however they want.

The courting/marriage process may have seemed better then, because of the rampant sexism and more patriarchal society. Those women and men knew they were going to have established roles before they even started dating. It was only an established process of the male impressing the female and vice versa so they could fit into their neat little world like they were taught.

But that is all we're doing, so one method isn't better than another because it is all for the same purpose of living your life.
Don't fully agree with the narrative of marriage being a patriachal institution. Perhaps polygamy was, to an extent, but marriage itself didn't seem one-sided and isn't one-sided now, unless one of the parties takes advantage of it.

Now in fact the story has changed: marriage is a way for WOMEN to oppress men. I think neither is totally accurate.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,234,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Don't fully agree with the narrative of marriage being a patriachal institution. Perhaps polygamy was, to an extent, but marriage itself didn't seem one-sided and isn't one-sided now, unless one of the parties takes advantage of it.

Now in fact the story has changed: marriage is a way for WOMEN to oppress men. I think neither is totally accurate.
A true marriage has nothing to do with oppression on either side.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:39 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,783 posts, read 34,551,422 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Don't fully agree with the narrative of marriage being a patriachal institution. Perhaps polygamy was, to an extent, but marriage itself didn't seem one-sided and isn't one-sided now, unless one of the parties takes advantage of it.

Now in fact the story has changed: marriage is a way for WOMEN to oppress men. I think neither is totally accurate.
Well, until the 20th century when a woman got married everything she owned/her money belonged to her husband not her. Children and property acquired during marriage legally belonged to the husband, not the wife. Women needed a husband's permission to have bank accounts and property. Sounds pretty patriarchal to me.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Toronto
3,295 posts, read 7,033,040 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Well, until the 20th century when a woman got married everything she owned/her money belonged to her husband not her. Children and property acquired during marriage legally belonged to the husband, not the wife. Women needed a husband's permission to have bank accounts and property. Sounds pretty patriarchal to me.
A lot of our institutions have been or were patriarchal from their early days or founding. Whether they continue to be so is a different topic/issue and open to discussion.
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Old 03-27-2012, 07:06 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,209,284 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Well, until the 20th century when a woman got married everything she owned/her money belonged to her husband not her. Children and property acquired during marriage legally belonged to the husband, not the wife. Women needed a husband's permission to have bank accounts and property. Sounds pretty patriarchal to me.
Society has a WHOLE was patriachal back then, so of course we wouldn't expect marriage to be an exception, would we?
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