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Old 03-27-2012, 10:26 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,173,724 times
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Before the 1970s, for instance, the goal of most relationships was courtship and marriage. Even if it took a few tries. There was a sense of purpose to relationships.

Fast forward to 2012...many couples enter a relationship fully aware that they will probably not grow old with their partner, marriage certificate or no marriage certificate, so dating has, ironically, gone back to more primitive times.

Do you think this breeds more competition? Monogamy, in a sense, kind of made it easier for the average Joe to find someone decent...or the average Jane, for that instance...I think this dating culture might be making things more competitive again.

There is a larger pool of singles in their late 20s, 30s and above, hence more short term hookups, more shallowness...the death of true romance, courtship etc.

Not to say things were perfect in the old days, but it seems like some of these problems could be solved by going back to a slightly more monogamous model, if not something as restrictive as the 1950s.
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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Actually - for all the people I know - marriage or a life long partnership is still the goal.
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Actually - for all the people I know - marriage or a life long partnership is still the goal.
Maybe once you reach a certain age that is...but if I asked many my age, unless they're in a LTR, if they're dating with an eye for marriage they'll give me a definite 'no.' Perhaps many are still holding out for that possibility, but people are less willing to try for the long haul these days.
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:56 AM
 
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There's not even an objective purpose or goal to marriage, and there's no objective notion that hooking up is bad or worse than marriage and monogamy.......so the premise is false.
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Maybe once you reach a certain age that is...but if I asked many my age, unless they're in a LTR, if they're dating with an eye for marriage they'll give me a definite 'no.' Perhaps many are still holding out for that possibility, but people are less willing to try for the long haul these days.
I think maybe when people are younger - they are just out to have fun for awhile - but most people I know started looking for "the one" in their mid-late 20's. I would say that almost all the single people I know in their 30's and on are looking for love.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to have some carefree fun when you are younger. I don't think romance is dead at all. I just think that people are getting married a little bit later - which is a good thing, in my book.
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Old 03-27-2012, 10:58 AM
 
2,472 posts, read 3,204,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Maybe once you reach a certain age that is...but if I asked many my age, unless they're in a LTR, if they're dating with an eye for marriage they'll give me a definite 'no.' Perhaps many are still holding out for that possibility, but people are less willing to try for the long haul these days.
So, the person that's stuck in a dead end marriage and only stays for the kids is better just because they settled, instead of actually thinking more about what they want and not jumping into things prematurely?
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:00 AM
 
Location: USA
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I think it's very true that the majority of people will not grow old with the partner they started with or are with now. I always wanted someone to grow old with, not be old with -- ha ha -- big difference.

I'm not sure what you mean about dating being more competitive now? In my area, I have seen very few men I would be remotely interested in pursuing so I'm not competing for any of them.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:02 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,173,724 times
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Originally Posted by Aganusn View Post
So, the person that's stuck in a dead end marriage and only stays for the kids is better just because they settled, instead of actually thinking more about what they want and not jumping into things prematurely?
Not what I said at all. I'm talking about the stage before.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:03 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,173,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red On The Noodle View Post
I think it's very true that the majority of people will not grow old with the partner they started with or are with now. I always wanted someone to grow old with, not be old with -- ha ha -- big difference.

I'm not sure what you mean about dating being more competitive now? In my area, I have seen very few men I would be remotely interested in pursuing so I'm not competing for any of them.
Well for a start it seems there are more 40 year old virgins now than in times gone by. Or maybe they're more visible on the internet? Maybe that's some of it, but I still feel that it's become more common to be a 40 year old virgin, which is a bit ironic since young people are having sex with more partners on average than ever.

Not saying it's a good thing but in the past that 40 yo virgin might've just married someone because that was what was expected, and there were things like arranged marriages.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Well for a start it seems there are more 40 year old virgins now than in times gone by. Or maybe they're more visible on the internet? Maybe that's some of it, but I still feel that it's become more common to be a 40 year old virgin, which is a bit ironic since young people are having sex with more partners on average than ever.

Not saying it's a good thing but in the past that 40 yo virgin might've just married someone because that was what was expected, and there were things like arranged marriages.
There have always been 40 year old virgins and there have always been single people. These things just weren't talked about - or they were talked about behind closed doors. It's just like women have always gotten their period, there have always been illegitimate children, there have always been homosexuals, and people have always had sex. These things just weren't talked about and now they are.
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