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I live with someone who openly admits that he likes to antagonize others to get a reaction. He has bragged about countless stories about bullying others in grade school (e.g., throwing spit balls at them, hitting others in the head with footballs when not looking, etc.) He has also bragged about needling and antagonizing adults to get "reactions" out of them (e.g., proving that his subordinates at work are not equals, starting political arguments for needling purposes, etc.). I don't understand this at all: it's foreign to me and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
For those who like to antagonize could you please explain to me why this is done and what is the purpose and is it best to just respond coldly to this persons childish and semi-psychotic antics? Some understanding into this might help me a lot.
I am a barber and have to deal with this sometimes. I have had customers that are like that and honestly I can"t stand them but I have learned in almost 20 years in my profession that the best way to deal with people like that is to simply not engage them and cut them off right away or simply give them uncomfortable and short answers that do not produce the results they want. For example sometimes if they try to bring politics up and ask me what I think I just tell them I don"t care for politics and that usually ends it right there.
Sounds like your friend is an immature dolt who is also starved for attention. Sooner or later he'll antagonize the wrong person who will beat the snot out of him. Then he might change, with an emphasis on might.
I've worked with people like this that tried to pull this crap with me. I've always put them in their place and got them one on one and told them they were messing with the wrong person and if they continued their behavior they would deeply regret it. Not surprisingly, they never behaved like that with me again. People like this have some serious issues, and I do my best to just avoid them.
With antagonizers ignoring them and refusing to play their game is a way to antagonize them back . They fact that they don't get what they want kills them
People who are trying to provoke you are expecting a reaction out of you which they find amusing and they seek the attention it gives them. They want a reaction or out burst of frustration. People that do this usually are unhappy or insecure, so they feel fulfilled/satisfaction when they get the reaction they want because it gives them a sense of domination/authority over the situation.
Old thread, OP hasn't been here in nearly 2 years, but I'll play because my ex-SO was like that and knew it. I asked him if anyone had ever told him he doesn't know when to stop breaking chops or told him that he took things too far, and he said they had, several times. At a block party, his coworkers told me I must have the patience of a saint because he was "special" and difficult to work with at times because of his constant chop-breaking and pranking.
Part of it is that he learned how to be this way from his father. Part of it is compensation for a few things. But most of it is that he has a lot of narcissistic traits. For narcissists, bad attention is better than no attention at all. The only way to deal with people like that is to keep them at arm's length, and when they start with their garbage, just get up and leave.
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