Disqualifying Someone Based on Their Race is Racism (dating, Asian, married)

[Mircea]

Originally Posted by Malkiel

You'd probably be surprised at the obviousness of the title if it weren't presented in the relationship forum. Yet, why shouldn't discriminating someone based on their race be classified as racism for dating?

Because it isn't racism.

To even suggest that it should be classified as racism serves only to highlight your ignorance and lack of education, as well as your own hatred, prejudice and bigotry.

"Racialism" (yes, that was the original word), came about in the early 1920s or thereabouts. The very first ever usage of the word came about in an attempt to express a type of prejudice based on real or alleged differences between the races.

By the 1950s or so, the word, which had been rarely used except in Academia, had been shortened to simply "racism."

The word "racism" did not come into mainstream use by television, radio, press or print until the late 1960s, but even so, it was still used primarily among scholars, Academia, essayists and social commentators.

More important is the connotations associated with "racialism/racism."

We are not talking about garden variety prejudice or discrimination here.

What we are attempting to convey or connote with the word "racism" is a specific type of prejudice that rises to the level of hostility and/or hatred.

Accordingly, "racism" is an act of hostility or hatred perpetrated upon an individual or group, solely on the basis of race or ethnicity.

"Racism" also connotes or conveys an attitude of superiority, based entirely on race or ethnicity.

Your totally flawed premise is debunked.

Originally Posted by Malkiel

The usual response is that having a relationship with someone requires innate attraction—attraction that may not form with members of a particular race.

Whether true or not, it is not racism, since it is not founded or based on hostility or hatred, or superiority.

Originally Posted by Malkiel

Therefore, people either consider that not racism or find it “justified”. But, I believe that's a ridiculous argument because the very act of not being able to find someone attractive just because of their race is defined as racism.

That is false, for the reasons I previously pointed out.

I do not like red-heads, so I suppose you would call me a racist because I wouldn't date Irish women.

I don't find blondes to be particularly attractive either. Having spent more than 30 days in 21 different countries on 5 different continents, I've seen less than 2 dozen blondes that I thought were even remotely attractive.

So, what now, I'm a "race-traitor?"

Originally Posted by Malkiel

Another common response is that "people have their own preferences"... Well duh! That's exactly what racism is about.

Totally wrong.

Racism is about hostility, hatred and an attitude of superiority.

Originally Posted by Malkiel

The fact that Whites didn't want to go to the same restaurants as Blacks due to their "preferences" didn't make their actions any less racist.

It is not racist to have no desire to eat chitlins or fried pork skin (commonly called 'pork rinds').

Originally Posted by Malkiel

If you're going into a job interview and at the end, the interviewer says “Sorry, I can't just hire you because I don't work well with Whites (or add your own race)”, would you not sue him for racism? In this case, not being able to function with Whites is no defense for racism.

As appalling as it might seem to some, that is not racism. Assuming the claim was unfounded, you can chalk it up to prejudice or bigotry, or even bias.

But then what if the claim was true?

Originally Posted by Malkiel

However, I'm not suggesting that we should date unattractive (even if that's just due to their race) people because it's perfectly legal to be racist during dating, and also attraction is quite essential for a relationship. My point is that we should all be honest and just admit that we're racist rather than trying to rationalize our behaviour in order to ignore the blatant racism.

But they aren't racists, so why would they admit to being something they aren't just to validate your false belief system?

Extremely discriminating tastes...

Mircea

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by Malkiel

You'd probably be surprised at the obviousness of the title if it weren't presented in the relationship forum. Yet, why shouldn't discriminating someone based on their race be classified as racism for dating?

The usual response is that having a relationship with someone requires innate attraction—attraction that may not form with members of a particular race. Therefore, people either consider that not racism or find it “justified”. But, I believe that's a ridiculous argument because the very act of not being able to find someone attractive just because of their race is defined as racism.

Another common response is that "people have their own preferences"... Well duh! That's exactly what racism is about. The fact that Whites didn't want to go to the same restaurants as Blacks due to their "preferences" didn't make their actions any less racist. Of course, now we all accept that as immoral and racist.

If you're going into a job interview and at the end, the interviewer says “Sorry, I can't just hire you because I don't work well with Whites (or add your own race)”, would you not sue him for racism? In this case, not being able to function with Whites is no defense for racism.

However, I'm not suggesting that we should date unattractive (even if that's just due to their race) people because it's perfectly legal to be racist during dating, and also attraction is quite essential for a relationship. My point is that we should all be honest and just admit that we're racist rather than trying to rationalize our behaviour in order to ignore the blatant racism.

I'll admit I'm a bit racist (I won't date one or two races) when it comes to dating. But, the first step to solving a problem is to admit its existence.

I think I hear a solution trying really hard to find a problem...

[Ascension2012]

Disqualifying Someone Based on Their Race is Racism, unless they already have disqualified themselves due to their race.

[BajanYankee]

Originally Posted by PrinieRN

Who are you? How you know bout Trini beauty?

My grandfather was Trinidadian.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by xlroadster

I can't believe this thread is still alive and well. So are we trying to say that the line between being "racist" and "just going by preference" blurred so much that we don't know the difference?

Sort of. In addition to dictating political correctness to people's genitalia.

[soliloquyenlightened]

Originally Posted by LS Jaun

And that would be the way most people feel: You have an "Ideal" then you have "Reality". Who you end up with can seem like a contradiction to people on the outside. When I was young I would have said the ideal for me was a blonde haired blue eyed girl with a dark tan, classic SoCal beach bunny. As an adult I won't pin myself down to anyone that specific as I know what I like when I see her.

Hope I'm not jumping to conclusions, but I see we see eye to eye. I see it as "Whatever works"

[LS Jaun]

Originally Posted by PrinieRN

Hope I'm not jumping to conclusions, but I see we see eye to eye. I see it as "Whatever works"

Yes. How many of us get our physical Ideal anyway? Maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina?

[Cunucu Beach]

I'm not going to go through 1000+ responses to see what others have said but the OP is 100% wrong to think that not wanting to date someone because they are of another race is "racism". Not wanting to be friends or to interact in the marketplace because of their race is racism but dating is another matter entirely. It could just as easily be said that not wanting to date someone of my own sex makes me a homophobe.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by LS Jaun

Yes. How many of us get our physical Ideal anyway? Maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina?

I usually agree with your posts. However, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been "packaged" to be America's ideal, and have been shoved down our throats. There are way more attractive couples in America than those two. It's just that they're not on the silver screen. They might be in a two-story home in a suburb of Denver or Houston, though.

Some of my good friends growing up, in addition to white ones, were Hispanic, black (Creole), and Asian (Japanese). They knew I would never consider going out with their sisters. Exception: one Cuban friend had a light-skinned sister who looked like a young Kate Jackson, but she had "caboose" issues, which waxed and waned. (They were the funniest family and they had a pool. I think I spent every day during the summers between HS at their house. Too bad they moved back to Miami.)

I also had friends who were Italian and Irish. My Italian friend's only sister was definitely attractive. My Irish friend had 5 sisters, and only one of them was attractive, in my mind.

I'm white. I only like white women, preferably ones without olive skin. I'm a racist, I guess. If someone has an issue with that, discuss it with my pituitary gland, though I don't think it has conversational abilities.

[Pikantari]

As a white woman, am I doing something wrong because I am with a white man?

I am racist because I am with him and not someone of another race?

Are we to look over those of our own race as not to be called racist?

This thread is...... ugh