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So true, one of my good friends is like you: her dad is from Panama, mom is African American. She identifies as black but based on our confused system, she is also half Latina.
I self-identify as Black and Native. I have an Irish first name and a Native surname. But, when people look at me, they identify me as being Black. It is so very strange.
Okay. Thank you for explaining that. But why is there so much effort for the black woman to become entrenched in his (white) world, and not for him to return the favor and become well rounded in her 'black world'. Will the white guy enjoy some of the foods and sitcoms that I enjoy? I like watching Good Times, will he watch that with me sometimes? Will he feel comfortable at an all black family reunion or gathering? Will he listen to Sade, Maxwell, India Arie, and MusiqsoChild?? I've noticed quite a few white men who expressed that they have no interest in experiencing any culture that they deem 'too black' if they date a black woman which is racist and quite unfair. This is another issue I have with IR dating.
A lot of White (and non-Black) men already listen to Sade and Maxwell, watch Good Times and feel comfortable in a room full of Black people...or are open to it. Just as a lot of Black women already love Antiques Roadshow or golf or skiing or classical music, etc.
But this is also where I believe the issue of class comes into play. Non-Black men have no problems with fitting in with "The Huxtables" or middle/upper middle class Black families but they most likely would not want to deal with "The Evans" (ie from Good Times) or lower class families.
On the flip side, I would NEVER date a non-Black man whom I deem lower class and I would not care to experience that part of a non-Black culture in my dating life.
I self-identify as Black and Native. I have an Irish first name and a Native surname. But, when people look at me, they identify me as being Black. It is so very strange.
It is only very recently that someone who is black and "mixed" could claim any part of the "mixed" part.
Just curious, are there a lot of black people on city-data?? or are the few on here so eager to discuss black issues??
Also, IDC if you're a black man, you can't speak for all black men. IDC if you're a black woman, you can't speak for all black women. Also just because you read some things online, does not give you the ability to speak for all people who relate to the topics in which you read about.
Why do people feel it is so necessary to discuss race on city-data...it is like an obsession.
People have the opportunity to discuss whatever they want to discuss here, if it is done without breaking any of the forum rules.
The truth is that race does play a part in a lot of people's daily life and obviously most don't make it that way for themselves, it is just a reality. So, what if people wanted to make a thread about other topics that involve race, would you oppose that? Do you object to the acceptance by people that race often does come up in life and is a reality? I agree with the other person that said that race is just a reality and denying its place in our society isn't something that everyone should be obligated to do. I am comfortable discussing race-related topics because I know who I am and I have an acceptance of other people and their cultures. I'm Black and I was never without people from other backgrounds in my life. I view race-related issues not as something to run from (how would they get better if we ran), but something to understand and attempt to discuss in order to make better. If a person has no interest in doing what some of us do here then they should not do it.
I think that we kinda get off-topic when we start talking about the different combinations of interracial dating, but I noticed some people talking about how White men "don't like" Black women and all of that. I just wanted to throw out there that I really don't think that is true as a general sense.
Here's what I think: I think reputation, stereotypes and history have created an image of Black women and both sides are falling for it. Black people are playing into our stereotypes and non-Blacks are also falling for it and believing it to be true.
I feel that if you wiped away all of the visions, images and pre-judgements that we have about one another, and in this case, Black women, and there was none of that, it would be different.
For instance, when you have society saying that White men and Black women don't normally go out or aren't a likely pair then what affect does that have on us? Well, it keeps us from approaching one another and it keeps us doubtful of the other. Being a Black female, there is the classic line said by the White dude that goes like this: "I didn't think you were interested in White guys." You'd be surprised by how many people of all backgrounds feel like this about the other.
It's all so stupid at the end of the day. Also, some people try to say that it is a physical thing. I don't think so. If you gave a Black woman the type of personality that a specific White man was interested in and she appealed to him with her lifestyle, education level or whatever he is looking for and there weren't those cultural differences, then I think those two people would approach one another.
It's all coming down to society-norms and they are restricting us.
For instance, when you have society saying that White men and Black women don't normally go out or aren't a likely pair then what affect does that have on us? Well, it keeps us from approaching one another and it keeps us doubtful of the other. Being a Black female, there is the classic line said by the White dude that goes like this: "I didn't think you were interested in White guys." You'd be surprised by how many people of all backgrounds feel like this about the other.
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"when you have society saying that White men and Black women don't normally go out"
Must have had the opposite affect on me. If I'm told I shouldn't be attracted to a woman, I'm going to be looking more closely at why I should be attracted to her.
Okay. Thank you for explaining that. But why is there so much effort for the black woman to become entrenched in his (white) world, and not for him to return the favor and become well rounded in her 'black world'. Will the white guy enjoy some of the foods and sitcoms that I enjoy? I like watching Good Times, will he watch that with me sometimes? Will he feel comfortable at an all black family reunion or gathering? Will he listen to Sade, Maxwell, India Arie, and MusiqsoChild?? I've noticed quite a few white men who expressed that they have no interest in experiencing any culture that they deem 'too black' if they date a black woman which is racist and quite unfair. This is another issue I have with IR dating.
What makes you assume that I wouldn't or don't do those things already? I am a white person who grew up in a place that is 90% black, and now I live in a part of Houston that is 99% black/Mexican. I actually prefer soul food. To me, it is just food (I am from Mississippi). You think I don't know about JJ? What? I can't be dy-no-mite? Eryka Badu, Curtis Mayfield, Jurassic 5, The Roots, erc are all part of my regular music rotation (along with Peter Tosh, Jimi Hendrix, Black Sabbath, etc.) I don't mind going to see Kat Williams and being the only white guy there. Are you gonna be uncomfortable when we go see Gabriel Iglesias and you are the only black person there. I would ask anybody to give up her culture and the things that she enjoys, but I only am interested in women who can think for themselves and don't need to be told by society what she should like.
I think what he means is the Black women who are well-rounded. They are able to listen to classic rock or indy/alternative as well R&B. The Black women who are comfortable with tennis and skiing as well as basketball and football. Black women who don't have to guess at what to wear when asked to attend the opening night at the Met. Or a Black woman who is comfortable at a dinner party with executives as well as at a crawfish boil.
It takes a lot of grace and poise to be the only Black person in a sea of White in a social setting...and still be comfortable, confident and classy.
That is pretty much what I meant. However, my social group is very racially/ethnically mixed. There really won't ever be a sea of white. Especially not here in Houston which is a majority-minority city by far.
"when you have society saying that White men and Black women don't normally go out"
Must have had the opposite affect on me. If I'm told I shouldn't be attracted to a woman, I'm going to be looking more closely at why I should be attracted to her.
That's cool for you and you don't fall into the state of mind that I am talking about, but the point is that even as adults, people fold to what is "acceptable" in society. At least the majority of people do. If you ever noticed the uptick in the occurences of something that has become more accepted then you will see what I mean. I mean, think about back in the day when it was forbidden for people to even date outside of their race. People may have wanted to do it, but avoided it because it was seen as unacceptable or too different.
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. If I'm told I shouldn't be attracted to a woman, I'm going to be looking more closely at why I should be attracted to her
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