Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think it is more difficult for me now because I want to meet a childfree man.
Before it wasn't a big deal because I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. I wanted to have fun and date around.
I tried online dating at OKcupid and Deafmatch. My profile quite clearly says "Childfree men only" and yet I keep getting all these replies from men who have children or want children.
Almost all the men I 'tried' to talk to either had kids or wanted them in the future. This left me kinda like okay well I don't want those things, so....
It's difficult to find decent childfree men. The one or two I came across that were sans kids, didn't want them b/c they 'hated' them or they were players and wanted to collect as many women as possible & didn't have time for no babies! No thanks to either for me. People will suggest 'Oh go date 50 year olds.' That's not really my thing either.
I had no problem finding child free women to date, I married my wife and we still have no children 12 years later.
I did date a few women with children, the hassle is not worth it. Their kids come first no matter what. No spontaneity, no weekend vacations.
Obviously the biggest benefit to not having kids is the lack of hassle and the extra money. You have freedom when you don't burden yourself with children. If you're having trouble finding a man who doesn't want children, maybe you're looking in the wrong places. In general (and I hate stereotyping, but this one is statistically provable), white males that are highly educated have the fewest children. Usually none.
I'm a Prof at a University and am surrounded mostly by white males who have few, if any, children. It's the norm. The older folks (above 50) generally have kids. But younger ones invariably do not. Same with the women. In my department of 26 people, 22 are married. Only four have kids.
As far as "challenges" of being childless, the only one I've ever come across are the carping remarks from other women who have kids. Then you get, "How come you don't have kids? Your life must be empty!" blah blah...
It's the people with kids who have challenges, IMO. Paying for their toys, clothes, expenses and seeing them through crisis after crisis, and usually being disrespected as they get into their teenage years. No thanks.
If you're having trouble finding a man who doesn't want children, maybe you're looking in the wrong places. In general (and I hate stereotyping, but this one is statistically provable), white males that are highly educated have the fewest children. Usually none. .
Well I live in the DMV and there are a lot of White Males around here but they are not interested in me for a serious relationship. They all want some play and quite frankly, I'm over that.
Child free people are a minority, so it is hard for us to meet and be happy, because most people feel they need to have kids at some point in their life. The only drawback is finding someone in a smaller pool, but the positives are plentiful: more freedom, more money, possibly retiring earlier due to more money etc.
One of the difficulties that I personally have faced as a CF woman is ending up in LT relationships with CF men who simply aren't right for me for one reason or another. And I spun my wheels in these relationships thinking, "But ... I might never find another CF man again!"
This was one of the bigger challenges that I faced, personally. Being on the same page with respect to whether or not to have a family is a Very Big Deal. But two people also have to have other things in common — similar life goals, similar lifestyles, similar spiritual beliefs, etc.
I think being child-free dodges some serious bullets.
Too many people find the only thing they have in common with their SO is their desire to procreate. They marry and have children for this sole reason and more often than not end up divorced, looking for someone now that they may actually have something in common with.
So many single parents give you the run down of the situation and I can't fathom how they married or had children with this individual.
Too many people find the only thing they have in common with their SO is their desire to procreate. They marry and have children for this sole reason and more often than not end up divorced, looking for someone now that they may actually have something in common with.
This is very true. I have a friend who's going through a divorce for this very reason, and another friend is very unhappy in his marriage. When I encouraged him to think about the reasons he married his wife, he told me it was because he knew she'd make a good mother. Well, she is. She's an exemplary mother, in fact. But a real sh*tty wife.
The desire to have children puts people on a set timetable, and I think that all too often, people couple up simply so they can follow the LifePlan(TM), without really considering what's going to happen in the long run. If you're CF, there is no timetable. We have all of the time in the world, in fact. If I wanted to, I could marry at 50, 60, or even 70. Or not at all!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
