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I went out with a lady that I met on OKC on Friday night. We had a great conversation.
What got me was, she thinks she's a good catch because she: owns a home, has a job and keeps her hair and nails done.
I find a lot of women think "things" are what entitles them to being a "good catch"
Most guys don't care about that.
We pretty much focus on 2 things: Are you "attractive" to us and are you a "cool person".
Everything else is somewhat minor. As it relates to jobs/title, as long as you can take care of yourself without doing anything illegal, that's all that matters.
Your thoughts?
your own subjective beliefs.
MY subjective beliefs are to take class into account, or job/status.
A woman could be a hb8/9/10, but if she's from the ghetto then hell no.
financial independence = likely indicator of a good catch and definitely should be taken into consideration when "evaluating" whether the girl is a good catch or not, and that good face/body and being "cool" are great attributes but they are but two of many important attributes...
Thus, OP's claim that "most guys" "doesn't care about" the fact that she "owns a home, has a job and keeps her hair and nails done" is unfounded, and is but his own subjective view.
Do you live with your parents still? Efficiency apartment? Nomadic with friends/family? Homeless?
My three bedroom mortgage payment is less than the rent on most two bedroom apartments around here. Having a mortgage payment doesn't exactly tie you down. Houses can be sold, especially if you keep them well maintained.
Not knocking your choices by any means, I'm just curious about your living habits.
I haven't lived with a parent since I was 17. Have rented homes and apartments. Currently renting an apartment.
Why would you think I may be homeless based on the idea that I don't want to own a home? It's much easier to rent than buy and with the current state of the market, I'm very thankful that I'm not a homeowner. My current job is in the real estate industry as a Closing Agent for a Title office that deals primarily with foreclosed properties that are being sold at discounts or donated to non-profits. The market is a mess and not getting better anytime soon. It is without a doubt a buyers market right now. Anyone looking to sell their home is more than likely going to take a huge loss. It's bad and many home owners are stuck and will be for a long time.
Jeez, how is this thread almost 20 pages long? The answer is really simple - she really IS a good catch. Great? Hmm, foir some men who are used to dating loser fast food cashiers with horibble credit histories, maybe. But a good catch - yes. As a prior poster stated very well on the first page, it is an excellent indicator of qualities that most men do find attractive. It certainly makes her very appealing in the early stages of dating. Whether she is a GREAT catch in your view depends on what qualities/personality characteristics she brings to the table which you may or may not find appealing.
Also, you havent told us the context of how she told you she has a good home, takes care of herself, and is financially independent. Maybe she came across as more of a braggart, but in a dating market where most women are labelled as 'goldigging moochers', she probably wanted to make that clear to you so you wouldn't lump her in that category.
Now, looking back on my single days, I would never tell a date that because I agree with a prior poster who said "be a catch, don't say it". I had my 1 BR condo, a great job/career (lawyer), and kept physically fit (hairs/nails/gym workouts, etc). I had many men contact me off Match and later on, admit they were downright intimidated by me. If they are, well, too bad. Its their loss, not mine!!! I really did not expect to meet Mr. Right, for me - home ownership was just another step in my progression into adulthood and financial responsibility, much like buying your first car, getting your first job, etc.
And all this talk about being a homeowner and still being cash poor or not 'so smart because the market went south' is baloney, IMHO. I bought at the peak of the market (2006) with only 5% down, but always managed to have my mortgage/taxes/bills paid on time. If I sell my condo now, yes I would take a big hit because of how underwater the mortgage is..but if I still hold onto it and declare it as a rental property, its really not going to make any impact. Its still a benefit in terms of taxes and mortgage interest, and my husband certainly viewed my home ownership as a positive.
I can agree with many of the points made, however, even as a woman who prefers to work, I'm noticing a somewhat condescending attitude/message from quite a few people, which implies that women who don't own homes or don't have great jobs/careers aren't really a great catch.
While there are certainly men who value women who do work hard and are successful, let's not forget there are still men who take pride in supporting their families on their own and still prefer a wife who can cook, will stay at home, or will have a more flexible job for their children, etc. And there are women who will not be breadwinners either by circumstance or personal choice, and actually enjoy/prefer doing more at the house, and/or working less hours or at less demanding jobs.
Also keep in mind that while there are men who want "equals", there are also men who want successful women that will take care of them, or have the ideal that they can keep "their own money" separate, because they won't "have to support one another" in a marriage. (Many of the posters here have already discussed the issues of "your money v. my money", in that other thread concerning married couples and accounts.)
I understand why more men want someone to work with them in a household, but let's not assume one preference is better/inferior than the other. As someone may have already mentioned, a great catch will be different for everyone: For men who like independent women, the woman the OP mentions my be a great catch. For men who are more traditional and like someone can cook etc., other women may be a great catch. In general, however, both types of men will likely want a women who is attractive, thoughtful, has a nice/positive attitude and (possibly) someone who is lower maintenance, amongst other things.
As far as I'm concerned the lady the OP wrote about isn't a good catch just because she owns a house, a car, and does her nails and hair. What is does say about her is she talks too much and is a bit on the naive side. I'm surprised she didn't throw in "I'm college educated" to make it sound even better. A good catch is a woman that is easy to like, likes to cook, likes many of the same things you like, and see's the good things in other people. A good catch isn't negative, doesn't play head games with you, and isn't all that concerned with how much money you have in a savings account. A good catch isn't your average woman who has been married several times or has three different kids by three different men, or is living off the incomes of the last two or three men who pay alimony. A good catch is the woman that loves you unconditionally for who you are, not who you could be.
As far as I'm concerned the lady the OP wrote about isn't a good catch just because she owns a house, a car, and does her nails and hair. What is does say about her is she talks too much and is a bit on the naive side. I'm surprised she didn't throw in "I'm college educated" to make it sound even better. A good catch is a woman that is easy to like, likes to cook, likes many of the same things you like, and see's the good things in other people. A good catch isn't negative, doesn't play head games with you, and isn't all that concerned with how much money you have in a savings account. A good catch isn't your average woman who has been married several times or has three different kids by three different men, or is living off the incomes of the last two or three men who pay alimony. A good catch is the woman that loves you unconditionally for who you are, not who you could be.
Very nicely written; well said.
And it goes both ways- a man who is a good catch is a man who has the qualities you wrote as well. I've been out w/ men who loved to try to convince me of how successful they were- bragging about the sizes of their houses, how expensive their cars are, etc.
I really REALLY have no interest in the material stuff. I want a man of substance, a deep thinker, a fun person & an all around cool person to be with.
It's cool to be financially responsible but being a good "co worker" does not make you a good catch. That's what I get when I meet so many women nowadays.
convo's consist of things like this
me - I had a difficult time trying to grasp parts of the romani language while in northern europe
her - Sometimes I just get so frustrated at my job, they give me so much work I can't handle!
me - It's not hard to learn how to play the piano, you just need some time and practice
her - I've got two degrees and most men can't understand that
me - I'm not really into fat chicks
her - hey! thats rude!
me - hey... I have to use the bathroom (leaving her to pick up the tab).
I've dealt with this a lot in the northeast (home for me). Ironically abroad and in the rural area's this isn't much of a problem.
I guess it is difficult to find women of leisure that have the financial means and time to travel around the world learning new languages and learning to play musical instruments. So many of us actually live in the real world and have to work for a living.
Personally, Id prefer a more grounded man. Your convo would assume you (or your family) are wealthy and you come across a bit pompous for my taste.
I guess it is difficult to find women of leisure that have the financial means and time to travel around the world learning new languages and learning to play musical instruments. So many of us actually live in the real world and have to work for a living.
Personally, Id prefer a more grounded man. Your convo would assume you (or your family) are wealthy and you come across a bit pompous for my taste.
Not too wealthy if he's ducking into the bathroom to get the woman to pick up his tab!
Many women think all they have to do is look hot, drive a nice car, and keep their accessories shining and they are a good catch.
A good woman is a woman that supports the vision for the future, makes good decisions about building her future, has a good heart, caring, loving,good values, who is not seeking to just take as much as possible.
If all you have is what you mentioned from chick in OKC.....then how many other women are a carbon copy of her - too many to count.
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If they are, well, too bad. Its their loss, not mine!!! I really did not expect to meet Mr. Right, for me - home ownership was just another step in my progression into adulthood and financial responsibility, much like buying your first car, getting your first job, etc. 
