She thinks this is what makes her a great catch....... (attractive, divorced)
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If I'm ever in a situation where I have to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of dating a particular girl (has yet to happen this way for me), then maybe I'll consider it a pro that she owns her own house and what not. But typically, how she treats me is far more important than anything concerning her as an individual, save major moral shortcomings like being a racist or something. Am I hiring an employee or looking for someone who loves me and shows it? Here is the difference between being attracted to an independent woman and being attracted to a relationship-oriented one (not to insinuate they are mutually exclusive).
Hence the reason so many women out there are just... not a "catch", imo. Increasingly, they've become more prideful of every trivial or material thing. It's almost like they're... men...
Was told by my old mum when she met the woman that I spent the next 27 years with.....My mother was old school Russian business lady....she knew how to make a buck and hold on to it...she bought property..and expanded her holdings.
Dear old mum said of the wife..."There will never be enough..it will go in one end and out the other"........................My wife came from your classic anglo family...They spent everything they earned..to the last penny..They never owned property and rented...
Mum was right...the wife was only happy when she was spending...a consumer to the core...and when the money ran out..she would brow beat me for not having more on hand..It was miserable...If I brought home big bucks..she would spend it all...then bad mouth me to the relatives that I was a bum...
It all back fired in the end...she never told her rich grandmother that I actually earned money...so grand ma cut her out of the will - so me the lazy bum would not get his hands on it...You are talking over a million bucks..
Point being.............management is key when it comes to money...and as old maw said...'If you are going into the city put a dollar in your shoe"....some people think that money is only for spending...One must keep a reserve...and a good woman will do that---a habitual spender..will keep you poor...SOME woman are brought up to believe that men are slaves...Run if you see this type.
I don’t understand why a woman thinking that her achieving an education, career, and stability is arrogance. Of course bragging about it is another thing.
I would consider those things attributes that would make me a good catch as opposed to a woman that would need a man, (date, bf, husband) to take care of everything for her, including expenses, transportation and housing. Perhaps women feel a need to state these things (that she is equally able to obtain the same level achievement and self-assurance) because historically by default women would be needing a mate that could always totally support her.
I understand that there are men that are put off by this and men that think it is not important for a woman/mate to be able to financially uphold the family in the same capacity as he can, but Im not interested in those men. There are men/women out there that see the value in having a partner that fill all roles that may be necessary in a relationship/family.
I agree. Unless she was bragging, having a good enough job to be self-sufficient, afford her own house, and not be a financial burden is an accomplishment. I am a homeowner, and while money is tight, I am proud that I can provide for myself. My SO and I have talked about moving in together, next year, since our mortgages both coincidentally renew in 2013. I would never want to be in a position of wanting to live with someone because I can't afford it on my own.
in general, self-promotion is ugly, demure is sexy.
howver, bragging about that sort of thing specifically is just a white trash move.
Well sexy is fine if thats all you want out a relationship and are willing to foot the bill for it.
For most people, a persons character comes into play at some point in the realtionship. We all self-promote in one way or another. Perhaps some verbally or when asked, some physically by eluding our sexiness and some by our unspoken accomplishments.
I don’t understand why a woman thinking that her achieving an education, career, and stability is arrogance. Of course bragging about it is another thing.
I would consider those things attributes that would make me a good catch as opposed to a woman that would need a man, (date, bf, husband) to take care of everything for her, including expenses, transportation and housing.
Perhaps women feel a need to state these things (that she is equally able to obtain the same level achievement and self-assurance) because historically by default women would be needing a mate that could always totally support her.
I understand that there are men that are put off by this and men that think it is not important for a woman/mate to be able to financially uphold the family in the same capacity as he can, but Im not interested in those men. There are men/women out there that see the value in having a partner that fill all roles that may be necessary in a relationship/family.
You have the best posts. And C-D won't let me rep you for all of them ... darnit.
I think that what a woman chooses to share with a man is indicative of what kind of man she wants to begin with. I would never brag about getting a higher education or solid work history. However, it is something that I always told prospective S.O.s about, because the type of man I wish to attract and keep deeply cares about these kinds of thing. He cares that I'm able-bodied, willing to work and that I can contribute to the household. He doesn't want a SAHM type that he'll support for at least 18 years (or even life).
Because I have always worked, my "domestic skills" aren't up to par. I never had the time to hone my skills in cooking, quilting, canning or gardening. I don't have the time to clean house as often as I like, and when I have downtime, I choose not to spend it sitting in a day spa for a mani-pedi.
There are men who do want a more dependent woman. They live for that. I was married to one, and it did not work out for either of us.
Financial success/independence is an extremely attractive quality to me. I personally am generally not interested in women unless they are "producers" - I want someone who will make an income and works hard and is smart and successful, and doesn't look at marriage as some kind of retirement plan.
Any woman who describes themselves as a "catch," on the other hand, a total turnoff. That is my decision to make and save me the used car salesman style approach, please.
If she was a good catch, I should already sense it and not have her self-proclaim to me she is a good catch.
If a beautiful girl tells you she's beautiful, she's already disqualified as attractive?
I sense some bitterness emanating from you.
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