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Keep in mind the mother of this child may be a wacko. Seriously what kind of mother "yells" at the father to abandon the child??? For YEARS? Hmm.
But yeah, I'm also wondering if this is a fake post. There are a lot of forums out there for blended families, stepparents, etc... to pick City Data is a bit weird
Grain of Salt, there may be another perspective on this issue of the mother trying to get the father to bow out of the child's life, and that could be, that he is so disfunctional, that she doesn't want him around the child...perhaps he was abusive, but yanno, if this is true, he wouldn't make a good parent anyway, yanno...if the child grows up under this man's influence, there is a good chance, the child will also be dysfunctional...he is not a good role model for any child...
I'm sorry for the rant but I had a lot to say and I didn't make every point but this is as complete and I could make it but I tried.
My husband and I just got married recently. We are both kind of young. I'm 22 and he's 25. We are so happy with each other, anyone would say we are a match make in heaven. But when my husband was 18 he got married and had a kid.
I will be the first one to admit I don't like kids. So I never interacted much with his kid. We realized fairly early that there was just no way I was going to get along with his ex wife and kid. When he asked me to marry him we knew this came with a huge decision on what to do about his kid.
My husband being tied down to the city because of a kid and me wanting to travel the world and teach wasn't going to work. In the end he is going to sign over all parental right to his ex wife and wont be paying child support. (Ex wife agreed to this condition on account they don't get along and been trying to find a new father figure for his son anyways and has been yelling at him to abandon his son for years)
I know his family hates me just for marrying him and having a simple dislike for kids. They say "I will always be nothing" and " nothing I ever do will be as good as his first son." (I just stay away from the whole situation. But I did try to get along with the kid in the beginning) My husbands family will most likely disown us when he signs the papers. I have been told over and over again that I'm evil. As much as this is not ideal I don't think I deserved to told I'm nothing the day before my wedding and continuously reminded nothing I ever do will be good enough.
Not many people know the feeling of being hated so much for loving someone. I want nothing more then to make my husband happy and so far I have been doing a great job. But I also know my faults and would rather admit them then hide them. I did not force my husband into the decision he made. I said I would walk away at anytime if his son would make him more happy.
I know everyone says put the kids first. But in a first marriage no one wants to be put on the back burner right off the bat. A first marriage isn't supposed to be so soul crushing.
I in no way regret the outcome of this situation and our decisions.(other then maybe my in-laws hating me with a passion) But I would like to hear other peoples opinions on this situation. Am i evil for loving someone who has a kid but also wanting to like my life?
I'd say the real issue is that OP doesn't want her hubby to pay child support, so he gives up his rights as a father to save some $$ and get OP off his back about the child support.
If OP truly disliked children she would not want any of her own.
You have a classic example here of two kids playing house.
IMHO, this marriage has as much chance of working as did his prior one.
If the OP isn't pulling our chain (and that's a big if), I just have one question.
Do you think there's such a thing as right and wrong in this world, or is life just about doing what we want, when we want?
Gee, a lot of criticism! People immediately jump to the negative conclusions. Even though I wouldn't marry someone with a child, I think people shouldn't bash those who make life decisions. A couple can live happily together with unconditional love, with the child(ren) living with the grandparents. Who knows? The man might not like being a father and having kids can be accidental.
Gee, a lot of criticism! People immediately jump to the negative conclusions. Even though I wouldn't marry someone with a child, I think people shouldn't bash those who make life decisions. A couple can live happily together with unconditional love, with the child(ren) living with the grandparents. Who knows? The man might not like being a father and having kids can be accidental.
It sickens me that this is such a prevalent attitude these days. You KNOW how babies are made, right? Don't stick it in someone you don't want to have a baby with. Cuz if you have a baby, you are responsible for it for life in my book. Too bad if you aren't going to be haaaaappeeeeee. Make your kid happy.
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