For the Men who've had a close Male friend hit on his GF/Date (boyfriends, girlfriends)
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It's a rare situation but it happens: A close male friend excessively flirts with or hits on your girl or date when you're out at dinner, a bar or party. It's a sticky situation because your friend is crossing a boundary, whether it's intentional or unintentional, and you have to put him in his place without losing your cool or getting mad at something so trivial.
But let's face it, guys will be guys and when we are presented with a very attractive girl, even if she's taken, our natural instincts will be to pursue, game, and conquer.
No friend should put another in an uncomfortable position, but what if it happens to you? What can you do?
This has happened to me a couple times in the past, and most recently over the weekend. I want to share some of my experiences and methods in keeping your cool, while fending off this type of behavior.
First things first, if this happens to you, you must defend yourself and not let it slide. Would you let a stranger hit on your girlfriend? No, so don't let one of your friends do it either. What would your GF think if you just allowed one of your friends to hit on her? You don't want to know.
1. Set a Sexual Frame with your GF when he attempts to flirt with her. Why? The most important thing you have that he doesn't with her is a sexual relationship or sexual tension. Use that to your advantage.
For example: He starts flirting with your GF in front of you. Playfully spank her on the behind and playfully say "you better tell him the truth or you will have to answer to me later" smiling of course. You can even look at him and say "Sometimes she acts like this just to be spanked..."
Another example: He asks her: "Do you like to drink smoothies with strawberries, bananas or apples the best?" She replies strawberries, because they're soft and sweet. He says "Wow, so you enjoy slurping strawberry smoothies huh... I think I know what that means" flirtatiously smiling. You reply "Let's be honest, I'm the only one who REALLY knows what she's talking about..." smiling of course.
The point is to be more sexual with her than he CAN be, because in reality he doesn't really know her too well and it would be weird if he said some of the things you did.
2. Knock him off his pedestal (verbally). Why? You just can't let him disrespect you in front of your girlfriend and friends. Put him in his place.
For example: He asks her what type of exotic foods she's eaten before, she names a few, he responds "have you ever had testicles" she replies "no" and he says "you should try them some time, you're missing out, maybe I can help you try some..." smirking and flirting, setting a very sexual frame with your girlfriend. Say to the group "That's true, he's always been a HUGE fan of the testicles..." smiling/laughing of course. Then you can say "What is it about the testicles that appeals to you the most?"
3. Dominate Him. In all areas.
For example: He says anything remotely sexual, weird or slightly inappropriate. Say "Guys I'm sorry, he hasn't always been this big of a weirdo! It must have developed after he lost his virginity... what like 1-2 months ago?"
For example: He continues to flirt with your GF even tho there are other attractive girls around. Say "Hey man, I know you're really shy, but kissing a girl is just the beginning! Stop talking to us man, go out there and get some! Or at least try!"
I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they'd do in these situations. All of my responses are always said playfully. If you get angry or upset, you look insecure. It's best to play it cool, and knock your friend down a bit.
It's a rare situation but it happens: A close male friend excessively flirts with or hits on your girl or date when you're out at dinner, a bar or party. It's a sticky situation because your friend is crossing a boundary, whether it's intentional or unintentional, and you have to put him in his place without losing your cool or getting mad at something so trivial.
But let's face it, guys will be guys and when we are presented with a very attractive girl, even if she's taken, our natural instincts will be to pursue, game, and conquer.
No friend should put another in an uncomfortable position, but what if it happens to you? What can you do?
This has happened to me a couple times in the past, and most recently over the weekend. I want to share some of my experiences and methods in keeping your cool, while fending off this type of behavior.
First things first, if this happens to you, you must defend yourself and not let it slide. Would you let a stranger hit on your girlfriend? No, so don't let one of your friends do it either. What would your GF think if you just allowed one of your friends to hit on her? You don't want to know.
1. Set a Sexual Frame with your GF when he attempts to flirt with her. Why? The most important thing you have that he doesn't with her is a sexual relationship or sexual tension. Use that to your advantage.
For example: He starts flirting with your GF in front of you. Playfully spank her on the behind and playfully say "you better tell him the truth or you will have to answer to me later" smiling of course. You can even look at him and say "Sometimes she acts like this just to be spanked..."
Another example: He asks her: "Do you like to drink smoothies with strawberries, bananas or apples the best?" She replies strawberries, because they're soft and sweet. He says "Wow, so you enjoy slurping strawberry smoothies huh... I think I know what that means" flirtatiously smiling. You reply "Let's be honest, I'm the only one who REALLY knows what she's talking about..." smiling of course.
The point is to be more sexual with her than he CAN be, because in reality he doesn't really know her too well and it would be weird if he said some of the things you did.
2. Knock him off his pedestal (verbally). Why? You just can't let him disrespect you in front of your girlfriend and friends. Put him in his place.
For example: He asks her what type of exotic foods she's eaten before, she names a few, he responds "have you ever had testicles" she replies "no" and he says "you should try them some time, you're missing out, maybe I can help you try some..." smirking and flirting, setting a very sexual frame with your girlfriend. Say to the group "That's true, he's always been a HUGE fan of the testicles..." smiling/laughing of course. Then you can say "What is it about the testicles that appeals to you the most?"
3. Dominate Him. In all areas.
For example: He says anything remotely sexual, weird or slightly inappropriate. Say "Guys I'm sorry, he hasn't always been this big of a weirdo! It must have developed after he lost his virginity... what like 1-2 months ago?"
For example: He continues to flirt with your GF even tho there are other attractive girls around. Say "Hey man, I know you're really shy, but kissing a girl is just the beginning! Stop talking to us man, go out there and get some! Or at least try!"
I'd be interested to hear other people's thoughts on what they'd do in these situations. All of my responses are always said playfully. If you get angry or upset, you look insecure. It's best to play it cool, and knock your friend down a bit.
All of those responses reek of insecurity to me. Anyone who tried those would immediately knock himself out of contention.
It has never happened to me, but I have seen it happen to others, some guys let it roll off their back, but I have seen fights break out because of it.
First things first, if this happens to you, you must defend yourself and not let it slide. Would you let a stranger hit on your girlfriend? No, so don't let one of your friends do it either. What would your GF think if you just allowed one of your friends to hit on her? You don't want to know.
I think in the more common case of a stranger doing it, you should back off and let the girl handle it first. If he doesn't go away, then you have to do something. But I've never had to 'do something'. And lots of guys used to hit on my ex ... really drunk ones too.
I think a perfect example is the bar scene in 500 days of summer. He backs off and lets her handle it.
Would you like some big gorilla dude pummeling you for saying two sentences to his girlfriend at a bar when you didn't know she was taken?
It has never happened to me, but I have seen it happen to others, some guys let it roll off their back, but I have seen fights break out because of it.
I'm trying to find a middle ground where the guy doesn't let it roll off his back and it doesn't lead to a fight.
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It's a sticky situation because your friend is crossing a boundary, whether it's intentional or unintentional, and you have to put him in his place without losing your cool or getting mad at something so trivial.
