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Old 09-18-2008, 05:43 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,875,707 times
Reputation: 7058

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I know...isn't that just wonderful. Good for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Artsywoman View Post
Being single is a great experience. I do want to have a man, but I don't need to have him around me all the time. I am very indpendent an enjoy my time alone. I read and write also and I need time to do this without answering to some whiny man who wants to be with me 24/7. I take myself out on dates if I want and I can use my own money, I eat and sleep when I want too and I am free.!
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
754 posts, read 1,447,370 times
Reputation: 710
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeisbutadream View Post
I'm single and hate it. I'm 23 and have never had a boyfriend. I feel so defective and abnormal. Sometimes I feel so depressed about this I just want to kill myself. I'm not very attractive and I'm black, but I'm very nice and kind. I'm not eye candy but I do have a good heart.
Your post reminds me of a Tyra Banks show I just saw (don't judge me for watching it ok) but it basically was about dark skinned Black women who were really self conscious about it. One of the complaints that one of the women said was that men don't pay attention to them because of their color. The truth was, when I looked at them I saw attractive women with very unattractive low self esteem. I'm a dark skinned woman (think Oprah, Garcelle Beauvais) but I consider myself to be very attractive and get more than my share of of attention from the fellows. Why? Because self confidence is VERY attractive to men. If you meet a man and you believe you're not good enough for him, sooner or later he's going to pick up on it and start to believe it as well.

Your self esteem just needs a jump that's all. Once you get that together you'll be fine. Also, a couple of years ago I went through a period of depression. It was pretty bad, but the way I was able to climb out of it was by volunteering. Sometimes, we need to put things in perspective and nothing does that faster than seeing people who are facing a devastating health crisis but don't have a drop of self pity in them and seem determine to make to most of each day. Trust me, it'll truly help you put your "problems" in perspective. So if anything, I say if you're feeling that depressed you should find something to focus on other than yourself or talk to someone. Most employers health insurance plans will cover it.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:23 PM
 
Location: TwilightZone
5,296 posts, read 6,453,442 times
Reputation: 1031
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyinNY View Post
A lot of my friends have a significant other or are married.

I am single and have been for a while.
I enjoy the single life cause I have all the freedom in the whole to do as I please without anyone thinking of anyone else. I travel a lot, I go to the casino if I want, I can look without worry and have no disagreement with no one. What a life???

However, there are days I sometimes wish I was not single. There are times I go to a party or event and I happen to be the only one who is single or you sitting drinking coffee and you see a couple kissing each other. You wonder if being a couple would be much more fun.

Another thing I noticed is how society views you if you are single. I gotten comments such as "Why don't know have a girlfriend" or "Do you have a wife."

Who honestly enjoys the single life?
I'd go back to it in a second!
I used to be the one sitting watching couples and next thing I knew I was married...not all it's cracked up to be.
In the end I think I'd choose the freedom and take some lonliness that goes along with it.
Btw I never paid any mind to people's questions about having a girlfriend or wife...most people could tell I wasn't that type anyway.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:30 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,253,323 times
Reputation: 55556
many relationship gurus tell us you got to get comfortable with yourself b4 you can be with somebody else. but many just stop at step 1.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:34 PM
 
2,769 posts, read 7,222,972 times
Reputation: 1482
I'm single and perfectly content with it. There are things I miss about being in a relationship, but I enjoy being single and when the times comes to enter a relationship again I will know, until then I'm in no rush. I'd rather be single than to force myself with someone who isn't right for me.
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Old 09-20-2008, 11:36 PM
 
Location: TwilightZone
5,296 posts, read 6,453,442 times
Reputation: 1031
Btw I've noticed it seems to be easier for females to be single more than males.
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Old 09-21-2008, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Cairo - Egypt
4,500 posts, read 2,840,374 times
Reputation: 3250
I don't like being single , in the meantime I am so afraid of marriage , It is not easy to get married these days , especially when you are not in love with someone. being single is not good , marriage is so risky .
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Old 09-21-2008, 11:40 PM
 
Location: East Alton
4 posts, read 10,356 times
Reputation: 11
Unhappy My ideas...

I'm divorced and single at 51 years old. I used to like being single when I was younger...but as I get older....I don't like it one tiny bit.
It's harder, I think, as you get older to fall into a decent relationship. I'm thinking it has a bit to do with not overlooking the "flags" like one does when younger. I know what I want and don't want to compromise. It also seems a bit harder to trust anyone due to a cheating spouse in my last marriage. Does that make me wrong?
I'm sick of meeting women in the "bar scene". It seems that they can't stay home and enjoy life but would rather spend all their free time and extra money at the bar. I can think of a lot of things I'd rather spend my time and money on.
I have long hair and get stereotyped for it. Just because I have long hair does not mean that I'm a druggie or a bum or any number of bad reps.
I am not into drugs. I'm honest, have good morals and I believe that I have good integrity.
So, what's the deal? Hmmmm...........
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Old 09-21-2008, 11:43 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,253,323 times
Reputation: 55556
i think i have accepted being single
the serenity to accept the things i can not change
the courage to change the things i can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
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Old 09-21-2008, 11:44 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,875,707 times
Reputation: 7058
clip your hair, people can and WILL judge you like a book.

Quote:
Originally Posted by abushua View Post
It's harder, I think, as you get older to fall into a decent relationship. I'm thinking it has a bit to do with not overlooking the "flags" like one does when younger. I know what I want and don't want to compromise. It also seems a bit harder to trust anyone due to a cheating spouse in my last marriage. Does that make me wrong?
I'm sick of meeting women in the "bar scene". It seems that they can't stay home and enjoy life but would rather spend all their free time and extra money at the bar. I can think of a lot of things I'd rather spend my time and money on.
I have long hair and get stereotyped for it. Just because I have long hair does not mean that I'm a druggie or a bum or any number of bad reps.
I am not into drugs. I'm honest, have good morals and I believe that I have good integrity.
So, what's the deal? Hmmmm...........
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