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That is so true. Most of the women you describe only want the decent guy once they hit 30 and they realize they have nothing. At that point she'll have all sorts of hang ups, trust issues and other problems from her past treatments, that you as the nice guy will have to deal with.
Society loves to tell us that the nice guy gets the girl in the end. But in reality all he gets is burnt out leftovers who is really only with him because she exhausted all of her options - it is really true that nice guys finish last. Not only in dating but in pretty much all other aspects of life too.
It's good to know that I'm just a burnt out leftover
Most young women in America don't want decent guys.
Most women only want decent, reliable guys when they have had their fun with their jerks and are ready to settle down with a nice guy.
Young women want mainly the jocks, rich guys and alpha males.
There are exceptions but for the most part in terms of women born in 1980 and afterwards, they don't want decent guys until they get older and used up by the jerks.
If I only had a dollar for every time I've heard the old "Nice guys finish last" song and dance...
I am really curious - if these "nice guys" want so badly to be with somebody, do they ever ask for feedback on what they could do differently? And, if so, do they ever accept that feedback, no matter how unpleasant it may be?
It seems to me that a lot of these guys, from what I see on the boards and IRL, do an awful lot of speculating: "It must be because I'm too short." "She wants a GQ model." "Women are all looking for rich guys." I guess it's easier to for these guys to make the assumption that they're being rejected for something that they cannot control (like height). What if, though, they're being rejected for something that they could change?
Keep in mind that women are generally socialized to be "nice" and let the man down gently. "You're a nice guy and everything, but..." That's because it would be rude of us to tell the guy that his unkempt appearance suggests that he may be harboring bedbugs, that he's irresponsible, or that he has an Eeyore mentality that would crush even the most positive person out there. Simply being non-offensive - which is what "nice" means - is an expectation, not a selling point. Seems to me that these self-professed "nice guys" don't want to up their game - and lose out to those who do.
If I only had a dollar for every time I've heard the old "Nice guys finish last" song and dance...
I am really curious - if these "nice guys" want so badly to be with somebody, do they ever ask for feedback on what they could do differently? And, if so, do they ever accept that feedback, no matter how unpleasant it may be?
It seems to me that a lot of these guys, from what I see on the boards and IRL, do an awful lot of speculating: "It must be because I'm too short." "She wants a GQ model." "Women are all looking for rich guys." I guess it's easier to for these guys to make the assumption that they're being rejected for something that they cannot control (like height). What if, though, they're being rejected for something that they could change?
Keep in mind that women are generally socialized to be "nice" and let the man down gently. "You're a nice guy and everything, but..." That's because it would be rude of us to tell the guy that his unkempt appearance suggests that he may be harboring bedbugs, that he's irresponsible, or that he has an Eeyore mentality that would crush even the most positive person out there. Simply being non-offensive - which is what "nice" means - is an expectation, not a selling point. Seems to me that these self-professed "nice guys" don't want to up their game - and lose out to those who do.
According to each one of them they are all 'nice guys' . In actuality it is not so many of them that are.
Keep in mind that women are generally socialized to be "nice" and let the man down gently. "You're a nice guy and everything, but..."
I've met & know so many women who use this line just to turn a guy down gently. I actually did a survey once around my college and nearby colleges asking women how many guys they reject with the 'you're a nice guy' line they actually thought was nice and the median was 1 out of 10.
Quote:
Originally Posted by swgirl926
Simply being non-offensive - which is what "nice" means - is an expectation, not a selling point. Seems to me that these self-professed "nice guys" don't want to up their game - and lose out to those who do.
From my experiences/observations:
Most decent guys who are attractive, interesting, and fun to be around to the women they want don't tend to have issues getting gals.
Most decent guys who only have filling out the basic requirements for being a decent human being do tend to have issues getting gals.
Keep in mind that women are generally socialized to be "nice" and let the man down gently. "You're a nice guy and everything, but..." That's because it would be rude of us to tell the guy that his unkempt appearance suggests that he may be harboring bedbugs, that he's irresponsible, or that he has an Eeyore mentality that would crush even the most positive person out there. Simply being non-offensive - which is what "nice" means - is an expectation, not a selling point. Seems to me that these self-professed "nice guys" don't want to up their game - and lose out to those who do.
Perhaps women need to be more direct about why they wouldn't date a certain man instead of just 'letting him down easily'... god, I absolutely HATE that ****! Just say it!
Has it ever occurred to women that a direct or 'rude' response might be what the guy needs to hear so that he KNOWS what to change?
Oh, and some guys ARE rejected simply for being short. I speak from experience.
The guy in the video is from New York, that's his problem. I lived there for a period and thank the lord I had a girlfriend at the time. The women there are generally awful.
But most every other area in the country has a plethora of amazing women.
And I'll say it again, women don't like 'jerks', a lot of them just want a guy who is not a wuss. Men often make excuses (I'm not tall enough, I'm broke and all women are golddiggers) to just live in their fantasy world where they are awesome and everyone else sucks instead of confronting reality which includes some wins and some losses.
Has it ever occurred to women that a direct or 'rude' response might be what the guy needs to hear so that he KNOWS what to change?
It has occurred to some women.
Of the women I know who it occurred to they won't be repeating it due to the solely or mainly negative responses. Not too many men take disinterest or rejection well and not too many take rejection coupled with a non polite reason well either. They saw no reason to be subjected to stalking, insults barrage, sexual assault, and violence to give a guy what he needs to change when he could likely figure it out himself from an honest self-evaluation.
Of the women I know who it occurred to they won't be repeating it due to the solely or mainly negative responses. Not too many men take disinterest or rejection well and not too many take rejection coupled with a non polite reason well either.
Dunno, I have a different take on this. If I was rejected for any reason - excepting the 'stupid' ones such as height - I would want to know so that I can turn it around to be a learning experience so that I can improve myself. Granted, most men are not on my level of maturity to handle it but that's another thread.
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