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I dont see anything wrong with having a preference in so many areas. Even this one, as much as I might quibble about why one would unfairly, not perfer based on complexion, to give someone, who could turn out to be the best thing that ever happned to them a chance to prove it. No matter what American society and media perpetrate, black women like all women, are unmistakably beautiful in so many ways. And I dont perefer to date white women over black women. But white women, in my experience, tend to perefer someone like me more than black women do. And imo, that is their perogative.
You must be a black guy that "can't get" black women.
I never understood why men of other races especially white men and unfortunately black men have issues with our skin and hair texture. We come in many different shades, eye colors, cultures, and hair textures. I don't understand why we are seen like we all act the same? I think it comes from too much TV and self-hatred. About our hair, we have the most unique hair it just doesn't sit there it has personality. I take good care of my hair I have waist length relaxed hair. I hate when black men say black woman cannot grow long hair and that our natural hair is ugly and dry. I just don't get it, it's like they come up with every reason they can think of to put us down...
" never understood why men of other races especially white men " Not true in many cases. I find many darker woman with natural hair equally beautiful to the Kim K's or Angelina Jolies of the world. Some have great natural hair and others don't just like all women. Even if only 10% of White, Asian, Indian or other men feel the same, thats a lot of men in addition to the majority of Black men.
I'm Jewish and I for the most part I don't get along well with Jewish men. People like what they like. I never had anyone call me a bigot or racist for not eating liver and ditto on beets. It's not logical to say that your preference is incorrect, that's why its called a preference. Duh !!
I am Hispanic just like you, I am a black or on the darker side hispanic Dominican brazilian if you want to now. I am happily married to a German man, I chose him because he is my best friend, the love of my life. I never cared for his color, in fact I never really thought about a preference in color but more in how a men is, values and morals.
Congratulations.
Now, having a greatER attraction for Caucasian men eliminates the desire or the requirement for those qualities you mentioned. How did you extract that? You're talking about someone you chose to marry, I'm talking about a simple draw.....that is not a guarantee that I will date them, let alone marry them.
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Therefore, you my darling must have something, look deep inside of you as to why you exclude all men bet caucasians*, because hispanics can be white* too. why do they have to be white, only?
I would not have expected everyone to read the entire thread, but this was in my first post:
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But I was also to meet with an Indian man the following week when he got back from a business trip. I wouldn't meet with him if he didn't "qualify". Of course, none of this meant anything. In one eye and out the other.
I'll let you pick that one apart. As to the rest, based on how you process your information, I don't think I can come up with a response that would make sense for you. Not that I'm inclined to, to begin with. It's how this thread got started.
You must be a black guy that "can't get" black women.
I definitely was that black guy who couldn't get a black women. I had a choice, continue down that pathetic road I was going, or change up the game plan. I chose the latter. Sometimes that happens to people with their own race, they get rejected too much and have to move on.
Yup possibly. I thought that sounded like a really shallow reason to start a relationship. But hey, everyone has different needs and interests at different times.
I remember hearing Heidi Klum tell the "biker shorts" story to Oprah and thinking the exact same thing. Its one thing to think it and another thing to go on Oprah and say that the first thing you noticed was his huge
Spanish people are white...if like in central and south america and mexico..they mixed with the natives..the are a little off white...My son married a girl from Chile...she is proud that her mother was from Spain...that made her a little more white and supposedly better...still - as with most of those we are talking about mixed in with the natives...
The father of this Chilean girl looks more native and of the ancient culture..
Having said that...If a person is a mix between a black and a white...for some reason they identify themselves as black...
The question is...if a person who is from Spain mixes with a native central american...are they white or not white...............I guess it is a choice of what you want to be.
Being Hispanic is all over the place, same as being American. There are Hispanic Jews in Mexico, 100% Hispanic Caucasians, 100% African Hispanics and the list goes on and on. When someone in my family says Hispanic it always means Mexican. When Lucario brings it up it means Afro Spanish heritage? Than factor in the fact that some people in the Carribbean who look black to the average American, and they may consider theirselves white or not black? Its just plain confusing and every person is right from their frame of reference and origin.
I save emails from my online dating experiences that think are "teachable moments". I actually used one in a discussion in one of my college classes. It was a great exercise. And I'd love to get your views. I ask a few questions here so it could be a little time consuming. This is about a conversation I had with an Hispanic man who was not happy with my preference for Caucasian men. I am Hispanic (for those who didn't know).
He wrote to me to shame me for having this preference. Said he thought it was a wonderful ad until he saw that. He didn't know how I could claim to be x, y, z qualities and in the same breath say I have a preference for white men. It was "very ironic" and he was very condescending. He listed all the other things I wanted that he was or was close to being, but he's "NOT WHITE!!!!" so he doesn't qualify.
I responded and said that it was hypocritical for him to do what he just did and look down his nose at me. A preference, defined, means to favor one over the other. I did not exclude others nor was it derogatory to anyone. I have dated men of many cultures and I simply prefer Caucasian men. I like what I like. But I was also to meet with an Indian man the following week when he got back from a business trip. I wouldn't meet with him if he didn't "qualify". Of course, none of this meant anything. In one eye and out the other.
He said he wasn't implying that I was a racist, but he doesn't see the logic in basing one of my "criteria for a partner on the color of his skin". I ax ya, fellow CDers, when someone uses the terminology I quoted, what message does it send you?
He also asked me what it was that made these men more attractive to me, so he could "debunk" my "whack *ss preference". Tell me.....was he asking so he could gain some understanding? Or is he inviting me to share my reasoning so he can further ridicule and dismiss what I like? I pointed this out to him and he said he doesn't get how I would even draw such a conclusion.....of course.
He also said, in a subsequent email, that he wonders if he should say that Hispanic men are better lovers than white men. Well, duh, he said it. What would be behind such a statement? Unless he has dated ALL white men, how would he back such a statement?
There is a stereotype about Hispanics that dictates we are ignorant and uneducated. It's a fact. It's not pretty and I'm not making it up - I've lived with it. I mentioned this to him and said his behavior wasn't helping the cause. Two things happened:
1) He said he didn't know what kind of people I hang out with but his friends do not look down upon Hispanics or any others for that matter. It has nothing to do with who either one of us hangs out with but the best defense is a good offense. It is his inclination to suggest such a thing that stands out. So, now he is suggesting that my friends are racists. Is this the message you get as well?
Also, his friends don't look down upon Hispanics or "any others", but my preference for white men is "whack", so HE does. Do you find that statement to be derogatory toward Caucasian men?
2) He asked, again, why I had the preference, then said it didn't matter why, it fed into the stereotype. Again, he's not interested in my position because "it doesn't matter" why. So, preferring a white partner makes me ignorant and uneducated. Is that not also derogatory to Caucasian men?
He kept asking why, why, why. I told him I already answered that question, but it doesn't back his argument so he is reaching for something that will.
He said he doesn't base his attraction on skin color, "I base it on looks, DUH!". It's his right, but if I were ugly, should I slam him for not wanting to date ugly women?
He then said we should meet, that "we all need a good argument every now and then, it leads to good sex.". I don't thrive on this kind of thing. And it certainly wouldn't turn me on.
Finally, how do you defend a preference for a particular race/culture? It really made me think. Is it the color of their skin? I haven't thought of it that way because there is racist overtone to that statement and I am not a racist. It wasn't the color of Hispanic or Black skin that drew me to them. To me, it is the whole package of Caucasian men that I like. I do love the way they tan in the summer, so maybe that's part of it....lol. I really can't say that it is just one thing. But I can't for other races either. I just prefer Caucasians. It just is.
IMO he is a bigot. And he is projecting because, to him, to prefer one means to see the other as inferior. He clearly sees white men as inferior, at the very least, in the dating department. It explains why my preference offended him.
Your thoughts?
you sound pompous. Are you on that site to get dates or engage in political debate? Not sure why this guy wasted his time, is the picture you use really hot? Although if he is a good multitasker and/or desperate enough it may be worth his time or not waste that much time
Another thread where people wonder why they are judged by others based on some kind of race issues.
Don't waste you time explaining yourself to someone you don't know.
I'm asked why I prefer Hispanic men being a black women. Now, I will date black and white men if we click but I often find Hispanic men very attractive mainly Puerto Rican and Cuban.
I have received smart pointless comments from black men walking in the mall with a Hispanic or white guy. I tell them to pound the dang sand. They don't know me, my life or history so I don't have any reason to explain to them why I am who I am.
Everyone has a preference whether ugly, pretty, short, tall or anything in between. I will go further by saying I don't exclude black men from my preference at all. I find it rather odd that people don't like to date or marry people of their own race though.
You can't completely rule out your race, in most cases those that are not fond of dating their race are less likely to be proud of their own race...The problem with interracial dating is most have failed their own race and they become stereotypical of their own kind and find perfection in the opposite race....I prefer my race because of our compatibility not just in color but culture too, i have had little experience with other races as well
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you sound pompous. Are you on that site to get dates or engage in political debate? Not sure why this guy wasted his time, is the picture you use really hot? Although if he is a good multitasker and/or desperate enough it may be worth his time or not waste that much time
