Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
*I* don't extend privilege to white men "just for being white", so I couldn't care less what they're sick of. Some people are just plain ugly and create monsters that don't exist.
I think that by stating that someone prefers to date a certain race, it, at least to some people, turns on some insecurity mechanism, for lack of a better term.
And he is projecting because, to him, to prefer one means to see the other as inferior. He clearly sees white men as inferior, at the very least, in the dating department. It explains why my preference offended him.
Your thoughts?
WAY over-thinking this one. He saw your profile, didn't like what you said, and wrote a message that was trying to push your buttons.
So he just wanted to talk to you, and this topic was "the low-hanging fruit" you left sitting on your profile. And you're analyzing his every word...
I think it is just like any other preference, impossible to really explain. And, I believe that Hispanics are classed as "white" so perhaps, it is the cultural element that attracts you? My older son always had a preference for, all I can describe as was light brown women with an exotic look? He traveled several countries in the military and a few years ago he married a lady from the Philippines and they are happy with 2 children. Well, not a lot of people approve of this I know. My son loves the Philippines, the culture and the country and obviously at least one of the women. Having been in the military and working among the military for years, I don't think there is any way to describe a preference or how/where it comes from. It is just like so many others things and the brain/heart are complicated. I do wonder how much the cultural element comes into play rather than anything to do with race.
I see nothing at all wrong with being visually attracted to white men. And men are even more guilty of choosing their dates based solely on a woman's looks.
Secondly, I definitely sympathize with your attraction to the way white men behave. I admire my stepdad (WASP) greatly because of his moral ethics, code of honour, etiquette and work ethic. Of course, not all white men act like my stepdad, but the ones that do are my type of guy.
On the other hand, of the majority of Hispanic men that I have worked with, I don't like the way they treat their gfs. And yes, there was one punk that when a girl he was flirting with turned him down, he told her that had they had sex, he would have "busted her apart". How disgusting is that?
So men who are from a macho or ghetto culture just aren't for me. I am greatly turned off by any man that starts off his flirting with heavy sexual innuendos. I need my men to turn me on through my brain first with their intellectualism. And I want a chance to pursue them a little, rather than they chase me hard. And until I know that we are compatible on many levels first before even considering getting into bed with them. Also any man that boasts about his sexual prowess and conquests just turns my stomach... a lot.
Well, I really gotta fart, so I might as well do it on this thread. Let's talk about stereotypes rooted on socialization. Women who like black men do so because they feel an overt attention they do not receive from the white men that put or have put them on second/third string or consider them mattress material but not life partner material. Black men who fit that dynamic do so in turn over the perceived trophy element of snagging a white woman. And let's differentiate between a woman who likes to have sex with black men recreationally (to include married women in open marriages who are encouraged by their white husband to be pursued sexually by black men) and a woman who likes being SEEN/DATING with a black man. Big difference believe it or not; plenty of college girls getting that notch out of their system but would never get caught dead dating a black man for family and future. At any case, in the case of white women who date black men it's almost invariably a case of a sense of rejection from the main white dating pool and the preference on the part of said woman to be the big fish at the kiddie pool versus plankton at the big pool. Racist as hell and yet statistically relevant a dynamic as can be. Indignation at your discretion. Don't shoot the messenger.
Furthermore, preference for white men/women by minorities is rooted on a Eurocentric socialization pattern where dating white is perceived as dating up and the sense that it provides a social security blanket against the feeling that marrying into one's minority group stunts one's potential for upward mobility. I'm not going to categorically say that these quantifiers are absolute, but in my own experience as a Hispanic man with white complexion, I have been able to experience dynamics that support the benefits of having access to Eurocentric living and dating. I would be a hypocrite in suggesting being of white complexion didn't make my muddling through these dynamics in modern america easier and more attainable. Newsflash, white gets you places in the Western world. *gasp*
The OP is projecting. There are less innocent reasons why she likes white men but doesn't want to be shamed about having them. I know the reasons I prefer white women. They are deeply rooted in being socialized in a Hispanic construct where the white female facial and skin features are regarded as ideal (Hispanic cultures are DEEPLY skin-conscious) and the fact that even as a Hispanic I am attracted to pale skin just like my own. I frankly find the american white girl to have prettier facial features; I've googled this crap LOL. It's the reason why men fantasize about the blonde sexual concept: the idea that the lighter and softer the complexion, the more submissive, fertile and willing to satisfy the woman is, which appeals to my male's desire to impose my sexual control and ultimate release. That's some National Geographic stuff right there but it rings shamefully close to home for me. Conversely, I find most Hispanic women "butterfaces". You can always tell white girl to lose that third chin, but you can't unfluck a jacked up face .
Jest aside, that's a lot of white porn I'm gonna have to un-watch as a teenager before I can date "Lupita" to the rest of the Hispanic world's appeasement.... I'm not ashamed in admitting that, the OP shouldn't be ashamed in admitting that her preference is influenced by some outright racist-a$$ socialization dynamics. I have no problem dating Hispanic women... so long as they look white. How you like them apples! *does like George Bush in an iraqi shoe store*
As to the dude that replied to the OPs online profile. Again, the projection is all the OP. He was rejected and simply picked on the low hanging fruit. If the reason had been because of a religious affiliation or other quantifiable, he would have picked on whatever the reason for the rejection was. Don't extrapolate more into that reaction. If a Hispanic girl would reject me I'd be "why u hatin' on your own?", if a white woman rejected me I would be "You're a racist!" They're completely contradicting accusations and they can easily come from the same person, proving it has nothing to do with the quantifier, it's a simpleton reaction to the rejection itself. Again, it says more about the OPs sentiments on what motivates her to be attracted to white men than "Mr. Rodriguez"'s hangups.
Lastly. Online dating is not some bona fide mainstream dating alternative. It is still a bullpen of dating. Work, school, outward social circles. That's it. Those are the big three. Anything outside of that (bars, clubs, online...) is concessionary and you get to muddle through the riff raff. It is what it is. So I wouldn't be putting much credence in the kind of volume one pulls from online dating; this is specifically aimed at the women who flaunt that metric. I wouldn't go to my buddies and flaunt the big frozen unfresh fish I bought at the supermarket while they were out fishing for fresh nimble game, if you know what I mean.
This thread has gotten even stupider from how it started. Amazing. There has to be a medal somewhere, aluminum maybe?
All I can say is I'm glad I'm a WM and get 1st choice with all the babes. When I'm through having them all, then the guys of color can step in and take the leftovers.
Now that Seal is separated with Heidi Klume I think I'll make her my next GF.
*I* don't extend privilege to white men "just for being white", so I couldn't care less what they're sick of.
Yes, you are. By strongly preferring them, it's quite implicit that you're extending privilege to them. They are the #1 choice of yours just due to their being white.
It's obvious white men have privilege in the dating world over other races. Numerous studies confirm this, it's not news or anything that can be debated. It is what it is.
There must be a reason. You said you said what it is, but I did not see that. The reason is probably subconscious - probably tied into your perceptions about survival and who can be better providers - otherwise, why would anyone choose "white men," per se? There are some very unattractive white men. Is it any white man or just certain ones? What is it about the certain ones, if that's the case?
What do you think of Hispanic men and why do you rule them out of your dating preference? If you don't know, guess. What was your father like? Your brothers, grandfather, boys in school? Were you traumatized by a Hispanic man?
It doesn't seem like you have really given it much thought. You think you "just happen to have" a preference, but there is always a reason and maybe it's buried, but it's "in there."
There's always a reason, or more accurately, a suite of overlapping and interconnecting factors that shape and mold preferences. To assert that preference "just is" is simply a convenient and terse way of shutting down the conversation without having to exert the intellectual effort to analyze the nature of or reasons for its existence. In a way I don't blame them, though, for most people with strong stated preferences one way or the other might be shocked by the exposure of the disparity between their true motivations and what they've been led to believe about themselves for so long.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. 
