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Old 04-10-2012, 02:48 AM
 
1 posts, read 3,923 times
Reputation: 10

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Ok, so I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and we've been to two concerts and had a blast both times, even a first kiss along with a follow up and good bye kiss that day. she's really busy it seems and is also sad from a previous relationship that left her in the same boat i was in two years ago. how can I slow myself down so I'm not rushing things or putting too much pressure while still maintaining my spot outside the friend zone and keep a progressive growth in the friendship we have growing towards a relationship.

PS I'm already feeling what I believe is a fast heart reaching for this girl. I think about her probably too much and I've always had that problem. She's mentioned she has the same problem and know's I've got it too.

any advice would be awesome!
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Old 04-10-2012, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Portland, OR
8,802 posts, read 8,567,366 times
Reputation: 4510
Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguyfinishingdeadlast View Post
Ok, so I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and we've been to two concerts and had a blast both times, even a first kiss along with a follow up and good bye kiss that day. she's really busy it seems and is also sad from a previous relationship that left her in the same boat i was in two years ago. how can I slow myself down so I'm not rushing things or putting too much pressure while still maintaining my spot outside the friend zone and keep a progressive growth in the friendship we have growing towards a relationship.

PS I'm already feeling what I believe is a fast heart reaching for this girl. I think about her probably too much and I've always had that problem. She's mentioned she has the same problem and know's I've got it too.

any advice would be awesome!
Two months and just a kiss? I'd say things are moving slow (in my opinion). Go at the speed both of y'all feel comfortable.
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Old 04-10-2012, 06:38 AM
 
Location: oragne county
11 posts, read 26,183 times
Reputation: 17
ur such a sweetheart.
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Old 04-10-2012, 07:10 AM
 
36,092 posts, read 42,587,853 times
Reputation: 53399
Quote:
Originally Posted by niceguyfinishingdeadlast View Post
Ok, so I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and we've been to two concerts and had a blast both times, even a first kiss along with a follow up and good bye kiss that day. she's really busy it seems and is also sad from a previous relationship that left her in the same boat i was in two years ago. how can I slow myself down so I'm not rushing things or putting too much pressure while still maintaining my spot outside the friend zone and keep a progressive growth in the friendship we have growing towards a relationship.

PS I'm already feeling what I believe is a fast heart reaching for this girl. I think about her probably too much and I've always had that problem. She's mentioned she has the same problem and know's I've got it too.

any advice would be awesome!
First of all, stop using phrases like "while still maintaining my spot outside the friend zone" . What you are need to "maintain", is her attention as well as her friendship, without smothering her. Make sure you are spending a healthy amount of time on other interests or hobbies. Be involved in your work, or schooling. Don't focus all of your attention on her.
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Old 04-10-2012, 07:12 AM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
4,002 posts, read 8,581,003 times
Reputation: 8094
At two months, unless you're talking marriage and babies already, you're not going too fast.

Don't listen to anyone else, go at a pace which is comfortable to the two of you.

Are the two concerts your only dates ?
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Old 04-10-2012, 08:32 AM
 
Location: NY
9,131 posts, read 18,711,992 times
Reputation: 11696
Sounds like you are going at a slow and progressing pace so far.

Have the two of you talked about the intention and direction you would like to continue your relationship? My wife and I knew what our intentions were from the start. We both were looking to date people with the intent of finding a solid LTR and we expressed this to each other so there was no misinterpretation. We knew we were not looking for just a friend, hang out buddy, booty call, or anything of the sort.

We did quickly become best friends, but that did not put us in the friend zone, because our purpose and expectations were known and progressing along with our friendship.

So I would say, just talk to her about her intentions, expectations, etc. Talking about it doesn't mean you have to then rush to anything either. You can still grow the relationship slowly. However, it will give you an idea of what both of you may ultimately want, and be sure your moving in the same direction.
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Old 04-10-2012, 09:26 AM
 
13,518 posts, read 18,405,698 times
Reputation: 16542
Just keep doing what you're doing....sounds like you got it together...
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Old 04-10-2012, 11:57 AM
 
624 posts, read 858,694 times
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Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Just keep doing what you're doing....sounds like you got it together...
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Old 04-10-2012, 12:08 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,127 posts, read 9,721,255 times
Reputation: 11781
Seems like you're on the right track already. Just don't overwhelm her. I like it when a guy I'm dating makes me feel important and makes time for me without smothering me. I know how hard it can be, but communication about what you're looking for is so important.

Continue on your life! Work, spending time with friends and family, hobbies. Things should progress at a natural pace. Good luck!
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Old 04-10-2012, 12:40 PM
 
354 posts, read 597,019 times
Reputation: 748
I think you should rent a hot air balloon. On the side of the balloon write a message stating how much you love her and that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Fly the balloon over her house for an entire day.


Actually you have been going out for 2 months and have only kissed. If this rlationship went any slower it would grow moss.


Just go with the flow dude and don't overthink things.
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