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If there is a strong case to be made for guys to quit approaching women and just let women approach who THEY want instead this thread is a fine manifestation of that case.
Sorry, I have to call BS on the first sentence - there are quite a few who love playing the game, even with guys who have the BEST of intentions. They know it and they continue to do it anyway because it give them a sense of control. I've seen it with others and lived it once.
Okay, to be more precise..."MOST women are not trying to play mind games".
One (or two) bad apples don't represent the whole bunch
You may want to hear that, but I dont think most men do. As has been stated many men become defensive and hateful.
I had a co worker that would not accept that I wouldnt go out with him. I told him I wasnt interested. I actually had a boyfriend at the time but that didnt seem to matter either. He argued with me. I finially had to actually cuss him out and say hateful things. He cried. He was finially fired because he would not let up. A neighbor kept asking me out. I was married. Somehow that didnt deter him. A old friend asked me out, told him I wasnt interested in him that way, I was suddenly an uppity b and he bad mouthed me all over town as did the neighbor.
After you have these experiences where honesty makes you a villian, avoidance or other options are just easier.
There are always exceptions, but I can assure you that being honest is still the best route. Huge consequences occur if you do not say "no". I bring up this topic thread //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...used-girl.html. Poor guy is so dense because so far he has not heard "no" from this girl. He still thinks he has a chance with this girl. Maybe, maybe not, but he is not even listening to the advice from other members on this board. I can relate with him though.
I remember back in high school I was so into this hot girl. So one day she allowed me to walk her home and I asked her out. She said she would have to think about it. Next day I asked so have you thought about it, she says she works a lot but I will let you know in a week. Next week I try to impress her, and she still gives me some excuse like "I cant talk about that right now, lets talk later". Instead she ignores me in class and when I asked if I could walk her home again. The next day she looks at me and gives me signals, ask her if she is still interested, "let me think about it". My older siblings and mother were trying to tell me she is not interested. I was saying she did not reject me once or say no, so obviously I still have a chance. She looks and stares at me all the time in class too. Coming close to valentines day, I saw her so touchy with a guy giving her flowers, and I ask so you do have a boyfriend. She responds "no I do not have a boyfriend" ask her out again "i am busy now, and I have to think about it, just give me sometime". My pursuit of her lasted throughout the school year, same excuses until the final day of shool, I asked her and flat out demanded an answer. She finally admitted she was seeing someone and not interested. I asked her even 4 months ago when I walked you home and asked you out, she said yes. I wasted the whole half year chasing this girl, thinking I had chance. That was when I cussed the living heck out of her. I was infuriated, all she had to do was just say she was seeing someone in January. Or say no not interested. Lets remain friends. Look at all the opportunities I could have had with other women, including one girl who I thought was not interested in me on my division class, however I had to avoid her because I thought I had a chance with this girl. You live and learn, and throughout college I saw many of my guy friends flat out hurt when I tried to tell them the same thing. She is not interested, there responce "she has not said no yet, and No no means yes.
Women if you are not attracted or interested, just be honest. Bottom line.
As a guy you just have to read the signals. By reading the signals you can usually tell if she is interested or not and as a result avoid rejection.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13
Good advice.
That will no doubt lower the amount of "no" answers.
Disclaimer: That only works when meeting people in real life, not on the internet.
I don't mean this is in a negative way, but this is horrible advice.
Every single woman who has given me physical signals or verbal cues in my life has rejected me. Some of them are what most people would consider pretty blatant.
The few women I have hooked up with gave me no flirtatious signals. It was more of a platonic, let's hang out type of vibe.
If there is a strong case to be made for guys to quit approaching women and just let women approach who THEY want instead this thread is a fine manifestation of that case.
If men had the same expectations that women had of men...no one would ever be born.
bek women know better, in dating honesty is not he best policy. be honest and get beat up by a pycho?
honesty only works if everybody plays by queens rules, and they dont.
That's not true... every woman I've been out with asked me. I quit asking females out about 25 years ago.
It's nice to meet you Mr. Clooney
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