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For me, it has nothing to do with being crass or uncouth. I work with a bunch of men who drop the F bomb in most of there sentences everyday like it was a sin not to. If I am unable to drop the F bomb, then my facial expressions will make up for it. To me, flipping someone the bird is something little boys would do to feel cool. I grew out of the "little boy" stage when I was 13.
I am missing out on nothing I would want to be a part of.
I love it when the real (gentle)men show up and post
I was noticing over the years that I have seen gangster men, some who have even been incarcerated dating attractive women and in some cases even impregnating these women. What is it that these women see in a man who look gangster, and has no career other then being a career criminal?
I would not say that women are specifically attracted to gangsters, but, when women are younger, a large percentage of women CHOSE men who have huge character flaws; such as, men who beat women, womanizers, criminals, alcoholics, drug addicts, and so forth. The reasons vary, such as, the guy is exciting, to the woman really believing that she can fix and nurture the guy to be a decent man over time.
The thing is (and my only complaint), as women get older (30 and up), they switch up and go after the really good guys.
That's just not fair to me. A really good man should not have to settle with an older woman, who, say, was physically and mentally abused by her prior x boyfriend for a decade of her life.
A good man should be able to have access to good girls, and I'm tired of seeing good men being used like janitors where they get stuck cleaning up the lives of women who never took responsibility for their own lives.
A good man should be able to have access to good girls, and I'm tired of seeing good men being used like janitors where they get stuck cleaning up the lives of women who never took responsibility for their own lives.
That's a nice, compassionate attitude! If women are putting up with abuse, even subconsciously seeking out abusive situations, it often means there's childhood abuse in their history. They can't get a perspective over their bad choices ("take responsibility for their own lives"), until they get serious therapy, including trauma therapy.
If you're running into so many of these women that you're "tired" of seeing women with baggage, you're looking for women in the wrong places. Or your friends are. It's a big world out there, lots of women to choose from. Leave the women with issues to the guys who have a heart.
You say that as if women are compassionate towards men. There are threads around here where women refuse to date a man simply because he does not have a degree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
If women are putting up with abuse, even subconsciously seeking out abusive situations, it often means there's childhood abuse in their history. They can't get a perspective over their bad choices ("take responsibility for their own lives"), until they get serious therapy, including trauma therapy.
That's not always true, and quite frankly, I believe that many women pull out the, "I was abused" line in order to avoid taking responsibility for their own lives, or to seek attention.
You see, many men are abused as well (i.e., rape, molestation, abusive parents), but how many times do you hear men blaming their poor life choices on their past abuse? How many men do you even hear talk about their past abuse even if it was authentic?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Leave the women with issues to the guys who have a heart.
Yes, so those women will rip out and trample all over that poor mans heart. Give me a break!
Anyhow, many of these women could have chosen the guy with the heart from day one when they were much younger, but they did not, so they should suffer the consequences. And secondly, good men should be warned that they have the option to court a better quality woman. It's really not much different then warning a friend not to buy a car that's a lemon.
Last edited by calicali01; 04-14-2012 at 07:15 PM..
You say that as if women are compassionate towards men. There are threads around here where women refuse to date a man simply because he does not have a degree.
Don't read more into it than is there. I was responding purely on humanitarian grounds to a callous post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
You see, many men are abused as well (i.e., rape, molestation, abusive parents), but how many times do you hear men blaming their poor life choices on their past abuse? How many men do you even hear talk about their past abuse even if it was authentic?
A few men do, but for the most part, it's not socially acceptable for men to discuss this, so they don't. Furthermore, most men, unless they've sought professional help, aren't aware of how their childhood abuse affects their choices in life. Men are a lot less likely to seek help. (See thread on "real men" vs. "wussified" sensitive men for plenty of attitude demonstrating why that might be.) This is sad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
Yes, so those women will rip out and trample all over that poor mans heart. Give me a break!
Anyhow, many of these women could have chosen the guy with the heart from day one when they were much younger, but they did not, so they should suffer the consequences.
OMG! They deserve the consequences? Listen to yourself! You don't get the concept of how unresolved trauma works. Study some psychology and inform yourself.
Who says the women would trample on the supportive guys' heart? Lots of women are very grateful for finding someone supportive, and stay with them for life. You seem to have an agenda, and be focussing on the negative. Care to share why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
And secondly, good men should be warned that they have the option to court a better quality woman. It's really not much different then warning a friend not to buy a car that's a lemon.
Good men should be warned? They can't figure this out for themselves? Why would that be--abuse in their background, leading to poor choices? Shouldn't they "take responsibility for their own lives"?
And what about good women, should they be warned they can do better than choosing abusive types? Is it really that simple? No, it isn't. In most cases therapy is needed. Same for men. Do you see the parallel situations here?
I was noticing over the years that I have seen gangster men, some who have even been incarcerated dating attractive women and in some cases even impregnating these women. What is it that these women see in a man who look gangster, and has no career other then being a career criminal?
Gangster men are not for me, but some of these guys have very nice muscular builds... lol
Otherwise, as a woman, I might wonder why men are so attracted to and dating women who look like cheap mindless wh*res?
it's generally only gangbangers or wannabe gangbangers that find other gangbangers attractive. no future, criminal record longer than Atlas Shrugged, high probability of getting killed when his rival gang decides to shred his house with bullets, sure sounds like a catch!
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