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Old 04-14-2012, 11:39 PM
 
Location: Ohio
13,900 posts, read 11,457,561 times
Reputation: 7252

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So say you have a freind/co-worker of the opposite sex and you get along really well. You know you're never going to have a relationship with them, nor do you want one, you don't have a crush on them or anything like that. But, thay are attractive and maybe one day you fantasize about them sexualy. Do you ever feel guilty about it? Or kind of weird about it? Like if only THEY knew what was going through your mind at that moment.... things would never be the same lol. It doesn't even have to be a freind of yours. Maybe it's your freinds wife/husband or sister/brother { NOT your sister or brother, but maybe a freinds } or girlfreind/boyfreind etc etc.

You guys know that feeling I'm talking about? Do you ever feel guilty when you fantasize sexualy about certain people in your life, like maybe you shouldn't be doing that, but it's only in your head so who cares.

What do you all think?

Last edited by WhipperSnapper 88; 04-15-2012 at 12:25 AM..
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Old 04-14-2012, 11:53 PM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,894,154 times
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Ewww.
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Old 04-15-2012, 01:08 AM
 
17,863 posts, read 18,707,157 times
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I work with a bunch of guys. If I found one of those guys attractive I'd force myself to go find a hooker and feel her up to bring me back to straight land.
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Old 04-15-2012, 04:28 AM
 
Location: TX
6,486 posts, read 5,553,961 times
Reputation: 2621
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhipperSnapper 88 View Post
So say you have a freind/co-worker of the opposite sex and you get along really well. You know you're never going to have a relationship with them, nor do you want one, you don't have a crush on them or anything like that. But, thay are attractive and maybe one day you fantasize about them sexualy. Do you ever feel guilty about it? Or kind of weird about it? Like if only THEY knew what was going through your mind at that moment.... things would never be the same lol. It doesn't even have to be a freind of yours. Maybe it's your freinds wife/husband or sister/brother { NOT your sister or brother, but maybe a freinds } or girlfreind/boyfreind etc etc.

You guys know that feeling I'm talking about? Do you ever feel guilty when you fantasize sexualy about certain people in your life, like maybe you shouldn't be doing that, but it's only in your head so who cares.

What do you all think?
I've had thoughts about sexual activities with female friends and coworkers; but then, I've had thoughts about jumping out of a car while it's driving 70 mph. Sometimes the mind just comes up with random crazy ideas. It's what you do with the idea that matters, and I'd consider fantasizing about someone other than your SO (if you're coupled) going a bit too far and something to feel guilty about. Because then you are indulging in these fleeting thoughts rather than casting them aside. Not the end of the world, however.

If you're not coupled, I don't see a reason to feel guilty, unless they're with someone already and your fantasy includes being their "someone on the side" (They don't leave who they're with to be with you, they just cheat on them).

Some people fear the concept of feeling guilty. To me, it doesn't have to mean you spend all day and night kicking yourself. It's just motivation to correct or prevent a moral misdeed.
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:05 AM
 
15,724 posts, read 19,043,461 times
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Yes I have and no I don't feel guilty for it. I'm married but I don't really see what that has to do with anything (related to another posters comments).

It's just a fantasy. Heck I fantasize about lots of things that I have no desire to make happen in reality as well.
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:53 AM
 
18,847 posts, read 33,403,559 times
Reputation: 26209
There is nothing wrong with a "fantasy". But keep it a fantasy.
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Old 04-15-2012, 08:32 AM
 
3,628 posts, read 9,462,176 times
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I do it, but I don't feel guilty... Generally just tell my brain to shut it.
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Old 04-15-2012, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,544 posts, read 8,931,313 times
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Guilt about thoughts and fantasies? No. They serve a variety of purposes, from testing out ideas to defusing stress. It's only a problem if they are frequent and persistent, interfere with reality, or you attempt to make them reality when it would be inappropriate to do so. In that case - as scarletneon says - tell your brain to shut it.
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,303 posts, read 7,396,801 times
Reputation: 8128
Quote:
You guys know that feeling I'm talking about?
As if women don't have just as many sexual fantasies as men?

I can't imagine ever feeling guilty about a sex fantasy about anyone, whether it's a famous person or a colleague. I would imagine the only people on earth who couldn't enjoy a sexual fantasy and feel guilty about it would be some kind of religious zealot.

I've been happily married for years. I still have sex fantasies about a few of the men I work with and the concept of guilt has never entered the equation. Fantasizing about someone is perfectly normal and healthy. Acting on the fantasy is another matter entirely.
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Blankity-blank!
11,449 posts, read 14,839,709 times
Reputation: 6919
When I was 14 I often sneaked a peek at my aunt as she undressed in her bedroom. She lived with us for a few months. I wanted to help her get out of her clothes and secretly drooled, but never felt guilty.
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