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It seems like men are expecting to jump in bed with women a lot sooner than when I was younger. I've been on the dating scene and while the vibe has been a very good one on some dates, I got the impression that the men didn't want to continue because we didn't have sex after the first few dates.
I have friends who do have sex on a first or second date and sometimes the situation has turned into a long-term relationship or a fling of several months. However, there have been some users and losers in between. Some of my buddies told me to lower my expectations, but I've always been out with a guy on several dates (usually over several weeks), just getting to know him a little better before feeling okay with having sex. Lately, it hasn't been happening. It seems like my friends are having more fun
I disagree with those who tell you to lower your expectations. A man who likes you enough would walk with you on whichever path you choose. If he does not do that, then he is not interested in you enough to make a difference. The way I see it, it's best to be alone than to be with bad company. If what the man wants is sex and you go for it, you might as well ask for a payment.
When you go out on dates with a new person, you can always be honest and tell that you are interested in getting to know someone special, not just to going to bed after a date or two. See yourself as being precious, and protect yourself as such.
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By the way, when I was young I would just take you to bed, and then some of your female friends, too...if I could get away with it. Then I met my wife for over 31 years (she is quite pretty,too), and nothing worked for me. But I wanted her so bad that I decided that "walking her path" was a wise move. Six months later I knew I could not live without her, ad we have been married ever since.
I disagree with those who tell you to lower your expectations. A man who likes you enough would walk with you on whichever patch you choose. If he does not do that, then he does not interested in you enough to make a difference.
The way I see it, it's best to be alone than to be with bad company. If what the man wants is sex and you go for it, you might as well ask for a payment.
Agreed.
It's important to let the guy know that you're attracted to him and want more than friendship with him though but just want to take your time to get to know each other.
I totally disagree. Women in their 30s don't look much different from late 20s. And in many cases, they look better in their 30s. I'm in my early 30s and I look the best I've ever looked so far and slimmer. Besides as I've become wiser, I've realized that it's really not a looks or age thing with some men anymore. If a man's hitting on you to begin with then he obviously finds you attractive. If he's looking for a quick roll in the hay, he'll move on if he senses that you're not that girl - Looks or age aside.
To me at 40, woman in their 30's are young and have the best combination of looks and maturity. Of course that doesn't apply to all women and many can look fantasic in their 40s (Jenifer Aniston) and beyond. Attitude adds a lot to the overall package and this can be good or bad at any age.
It seems like men are expecting to jump in bed with women a lot sooner than when I was younger. I've been on the dating scene and while the vibe has been a very good one on some dates, I got the impression that the men didn't want to continue because we didn't have sex after the first few dates.
I have friends who do have sex on a first or second date and sometimes the situation has turned into a long-term relationship or a fling of several months. However, there have been some users and losers in between. Some of my buddies told me to lower my expectations, but I've always been out with a guy on several dates (usually over several weeks), just getting to know him a little better before feeling okay with having sex. Lately, it hasn't been happening. It seems like my friends are having more fun
Many guys have a fear of marrying a woman who isn't interested in sex or has a low sex drive. Guys have a need for sex as bad as a woman has a need to talk to her husband on a daily basis. Urban legends of marriage suggest that many wives aren't interested in sex after kids are born. Some guys are afraid of ending up in a sexless marriage.
Also, like how SOME women are so ready and willing to cast some perfectly great men aside because of certain things like income and height and looks....SOME men aren't willing to spend time and money on a girl that they feel they won't get any sexual experiences with. I've been on many dates with girls only to realize they aren't into me. I could've saved hours and dollars. If she is willing to sleep with me in the first few dates then at least I know she's interested in me somewhat....and if she isn't: then at least I got laid out of the deal
A man who likes you enough would walk with you on whichever path you choose. If he does not do that, then he is not interested in you enough to make a difference.
Not true.
I think men and women should be flexible. But to say that if someone isn't willing to ride 'your way or the highway' and justify it with a claim to disinterest then that's just pure ignorance.
No, do not listen to your friends. You are in the relationship, not them. If a man rushes you to have sex early, then he has no respect for you. I think guys should follow this mantra:
"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy."
No, do not listen to your friends. You are in the relationship, not them. If a man rushes you to have sex early, then he has no respect for you. I think guys should follow this mantra:
"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy."
Many guys have a fear of marrying a woman who isn't interested in sex or has a low sex drive. Guys have a need for sex as bad as a woman has a need to talk to her husband on a daily basis. Urban legends of marriage suggest that many wives aren't interested in sex after kids are born. Some guys are afraid of ending up in a sexless marriage.
Also, like how SOME women are so ready and willing to cast some perfectly great men aside because of certain things like income and height and looks....SOME men aren't willing to spend time and money on a girl that they feel they won't get any sexual experiences with. I've been on many dates with girls only to realize they aren't into me. I could've saved hours and dollars. If she is willing to sleep with me in the first few dates then at least I know she's interested in me somewhat....and if she isn't: then at least I got laid out of the deal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi-turtle
Not true.
I think men and women should be flexible. But to say that if someone isn't willing to ride 'your way or the highway' and justify it with a claim to disinterest then that's just pure ignorance.
I agree with you, but there's a difference between giving the idea that you're not interested in sex at all and having the decency to not have it with every man you come across. Someone who's interested in sex, but would like to wait for a relationship to start developing clearly sends a signal of the latter, which imo, is very respectable to themselves and something any respectable man would agree with if they're interested in forming a long-term relationship.
Which in turn goes to show that the man who is clearly in it for the nookie will become disinterested at the fact and move on.
Now if she straight up says, "I don't like sex," that can definitely run the men off regardless if they were interested in a long-term relationship.
gymrat if you're not comfortable sharing yourself amongst men the way your friends do don't do it. i personally lose all respect for women who are ready to get plowed after 1-2 dates.. it is good to be patient.. what if the next guy is some smegma king and you're already naked in his bedroom... just keep doing what you're doing. let your friends share themselves.
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