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At first when I was reading it, I thought the author was very bitter, seeing that she had dated a younger man for 2 decades and it didn't work out, but as I continued to read, I saw that she had some very valid points. Not only did she predict Demi and Ashton's relationship demise, but she also hit at what I believe is the core reason for why these relationships don't work out..
"When he was young, you made him feel mature. Now that he's nearing 40, she makes him feel young. For a middle-aged man, that's a priceless gift."
I have a coworker who's now in his 40s. He's told me that as a younger man, he dated mostly older women i.e 10 years plus, even got engaged to one. Those relationships boosted his ego. He was seen as "the man" for pulling older chicks. Now that he's in his 40s, you can't pull his eyes away from the 20 year olds. I used to think it was a bit gross and pervertish the way he would talk about his latest 20 year old conquest (those relationships have never lasted btw) because it focused mainly on the superficial characteristics i.e her age and how she looks, never her mind or something deeper.
Now I think I understand the allure. Younger women make him feel young and at his age, that's what's important to him.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with the author's premise?
I'd like to believe that love conquers all, and that all kinds of non-traditional relationships do thrive, however, I have never seen an older woman/younger man relationship dynamic work long term. Have you? If so, share
they're only good for spectacular sex as women's sexual peak is around that age whereas for a man its usually in his 20's so its like the clash of the titans when a young bull cross paths with a cougar.
At first when I was reading it, I thought the author was very bitter, seeing that she had dated a younger man for 2 decades and it didn't work out, but as I continued to read, I saw that she had some very valid points. Not only did she predict Demi and Ashton's relationship demise, but she also hit at what I believe is the core reason for why these relationships don't work out..
"When he was young, you made him feel mature. Now that he's nearing 40, she makes him feel young. For a middle-aged man, that's a priceless gift."
I have a coworker who's now in his 40s. He's told me that as a younger man, he dated mostly older women i.e 10 years plus, even got engaged to one. Those relationships boosted his ego. He was seen as "the man" for pulling older chicks. Now that he's in his 40s, you can't pull his eyes away from the 20 year olds. I used to think it was a bit gross and pervertish the way he would talk about his latest 20 year old conquest (those relationships have never lasted btw) because it focused mainly on the superficial characteristics i.e her age and how she looks, never her mind or something deeper.
Now I think I understand the allure. Younger women make him feel young and at his age, that's what's important to him.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with the author's premise?
I'd like to believe that love conquers all, and that all kinds of non-traditional relationships do thrive, however, I have never seen an older woman/younger man relationship dynamic work long term. Have you? If so, share
Interesting article. That has grain of salt. But personally I would NEVER pursue a younger man. My fiance is a 3 months younger than me. And that is how young I would ever go.
So I came across this article on the internet about older women dating younger men. Older Woman, Younger Man? Watch Out! He'll Dump You - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com
At first when I was reading it, I thought the author was very bitter, seeing that she had dated a younger man for 2 decades and it didn't work out, but as I continued to read, I saw that she had some very valid points. Not only did she predict Demi and Ashton's relationship demise, but she also hit at what I believe is the core reason for why these relationships don't work out..
"When he was young, you made him feel mature. Now that he's nearing 40, she makes him feel young. For a middle-aged man, that's a priceless gift."
I have a coworker who's now in his 40s. He's told me that as a younger man, he dated mostly older women i.e 10 years plus, even got engaged to one. Those relationships boosted his ego. He was seen as "the man" for pulling older chicks. Now that he's in his 40s, you can't pull his eyes away from the 20 year olds. I used to think it was a bit gross and pervertish the way he would talk about his latest 20 year old conquest (those relationships have never lasted btw) because it focused mainly on the superficial characteristics i.e her age and how she looks, never her mind or something deeper.
Now I think I understand the allure. Younger women make him feel young and at his age, that's what's important to him.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with the author's premise?
I'd like to believe that love conquers all, and that all kinds of non-traditional relationships do thrive, however, I have never seen an older woman/younger man relationship dynamic work long term. Have you? If so, share
I am presently married to a man who is 10 years younger than I am and we have been together for 15 years. I am 64 and he is 54, he is my 3rd husband. Now hold on...my first husband was 2 years older than me and was an IDIOT. He liked to drink, smoke dope and chase women..didn't like to work to help support me or our son. Eventually, he ran off with another man's wife. She left her husband and her kids to be with my ex..some prize she got. I RAN back home with my son; I was in Maine so I came home to CT to raise my son alone. When my son was 21, I found and rekindled a 7th grade love affair with my true soulmate...we were married 1 year and he had a major heart attack and died..we were the same age. I stayed single for yet another 6 years and met my present husband. We laughed a lot, had a lot in common, enjoyed each others company but I kept holding back cuz he is 10 years younger. I came right out and asked him WHY?? Why did he feel attracted to me?? He said when you fall in love and feel it to your toes..nothing matters about the other person, it just works.
In the 15 years we have been together, he has helped me thru open heart surgery, my Mom's passing and we are now working together on getting fit. He stayed with me when I hit 304 lbs and I could not figure out why?? He said he was worried about my health and loved me enough to help me thru that too.
Is my hubby a gem..ABSOLUTELY and we adore each other. It can work and age is not an issue if you are in love with the PERSON not just what that person looks like or what they do for work etc.
Well, it certainly doesn't take an expert to predict that ANY Hollywood/ actors marriage is going to end in divorce. I mean come on. Hollywood is fantasy land and a relationship is doomed no matter what age, etc.
I am 12 years older than my husband. We have been together for 24 years this summer, 18 of it married. The key here [as with any couple] is that I stay in shape, attractive and sexually interested and active. My husband is in love with me and is fulfilled in our relationship. I didn't read the article, but I assume that can happen even if a husband and wife are the SAME age. It depends on the individual[man] and how the couple is working on their relationship.
It really depends on what's important to the guy...not all men are desperately seeking to recapture youth...but the ones who are will typically always seek out increasingly younger women as they age, for the arm candy/feeling young aspect of things. There are plenty of men who aren't obsessed with their own "lost youth," though.
Furthermore, if men are obsessed with younger women to make them feel younger, it won't matter if they are with a woman who is older than them or not...they'll still seek out younger and younger. One man I know well started out with a wife his own age, or a year younger (college sweethearts). They had kids, and shortly after that, he began a string of affairs with office temps where he worked. One of them stuck, a girl in her early 20s (he was in his upper thirties). They carried on for years, and, then, when his marriage ended, they got married...When she was in her thirties, he dropped her for a 26-year old. They're getting married soon, and I have no doubt that once she crosses thirty, his eye will again start to wander, if it's not already. In his mind, he's owed the perpetual 20-something. All women become "old" to him once they are "middle aged," no matter how old he is.
i have a friend with zero dating experience dating an woman in her 30s. He's in his 20's . We make fun of him for it (jokingly) but I'm sure the pressure if there for her to Marry soon which i dont know if he's ready for. I also feel like if an older woman dates a younger man it feels like she is taking care of him or like a mother figure. I wouldnt date an older woman unless its a year or 2. Wouldnt feel right
fail! look at the way a lot of these younger guys speak about these older women -- 'cougars,' 'bagging a cougar' or whatever ridiculousness they use at the moment. usually these men either see these women as a sex fetish or a free ride (sex, meals, money, possible place to stay) nothing more.
I like older men and younger men. You can't go into relationships thinking about them being doomed and not all people and relationships are going to be alike. My ex husband was a year older than me. My other relationship was with a younger man. Both of these were fine. My most recent crush was on an older man (that didn't go anywhere, as he turned out to be married).
Younger men don't like much older women, more than 2, 3, or 4 years older. It's not typical, by any stretch of the imagination. For the 25 year old man, a 35 year old woman could be considered attractive. Twenty years later, he will think less so and may start looking around. I have heard about these problems on an anecdotal level, but personally know of 2 cases where the guy married a significantly older woman and both of them later regretted it. One of them gave up an offer of admission to professional school, and he REALLY regrets his decision to marry....at least, at THAT time in his life. He hailed from an annoying domineering mother and a passive father, so that's part of the context to help explain what happened.
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