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Old 04-16-2012, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,775 posts, read 3,776,753 times
Reputation: 1894

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamCharger1985 View Post
The more she has, the less attractive she is to me. If she has over 5 I lose interest completely no matter what.

Sorry.
Whha???? Ehh, unless you're dating 21 year olds - I doubt you will be hard pressed to find a woman who has 5 or fewer sex partners/history in these days (depending on what circles you run in).

FWIW, trustworthyness and sexual history are not mutually exclusive, as a PP stated, just because a woman has had a wild past doesn't mean she can't have a faithful, monogamous relationship later on...I say this from personal experience, I had my wild days in my 20s and enjoyed most of my dating experiences, but now as a married woman I wouldnt dream of cheating or betraying my partner like that. I know quite a number of women who've had as many as 50 partners in their teens/20s, and once married - put all that behind them. I think speaking in generalities is really ignorant.

Also agree the double standard is downright ridiculous. Men are "studs" if they bed 30 women by age 30, but if a woman does the same, she's considered lower than pond scum?? Get real, the street goes both ways these days.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:37 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
691 posts, read 1,424,700 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva View Post
Also agree the double standard is downright ridiculous. Men are "studs" if they bed 30 women by age 30, but if a woman does the same, she's considered lower than pond scum?? Get real, the street goes both ways these days.
When did I ever say that? I don't think highly of other men that sleep around; I think those guys are tools and I would understand if a woman was turned off by that. I am not attracted to men so I don't think about it.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:40 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LegalDiva View Post
Also agree the double standard is downright ridiculous. Men are "studs" if they bed 30 women by age 30, but if a woman does the same, she's considered lower than pond scum?? Get real, the street goes both ways these days.
I agree and just to clarify, I am a women with a varied sexual past. A rolodex of one night stands, FWB and the like. However, I have never cheated on anyone I have ever dated and I have never even contacted someone I had a sexual encounter with while I was in a relationship.

However, there is still a sigma attached that I will somehow be incapable of settling down and unable to be content with one sexual partner for an extended period of time (by some men). It's an unfortunate double standard and I try to be as open as possible about my past, when asked, but apparently its okay and can be easily overlooked for guys, but takes a "secure" man to know this information and be comfortable with it.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:45 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,715,991 times
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Only a silly person blabbers on about her/his past romps in the haystack. Some things are best left unsaid unless you have a very secure partner who doesn't judge.
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Old 04-16-2012, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,775 posts, read 3,776,753 times
Reputation: 1894
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamCharger1985 View Post
When did I ever say that? I don't think highly of other men that sleep around; I think those guys are tools and I would understand if a woman was turned off by that. I am not attracted to men so I don't think about it.
That part wasnt directed at you. I say, *some* men have this mentality - usually the guys who grew up in a machismo-style household or family. I do have family members where guys are still high-fiving each other if they meet a woman still a virgin at age 28 or something, or men who think because a woman is divorced and mother of 3 kids by age 25, that she's automatically a "ho". Its all about the circumstances.
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:03 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,715,243 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
If someone is faithful when they are in a relationship, then why in the world would they be considered untrustworthy??
Bc some women come out of relationships & all of a sudden they have a little sex in a non-committed relationship & as they get more the ***** gene kicks in for some; not all but some.
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:14 PM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,715,243 times
Reputation: 1277
You don't have to sew your wild oats in order to know that you shouldn't cheat. Personally, I don't ask a woman about her sexual past. I just want to make sure that her STD tests are in order. Your past is your past as long as you don't bring it into your present.
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Old 04-16-2012, 01:23 PM
 
64 posts, read 111,169 times
Reputation: 166
I think that a history of being unfaithful is a concern, but trying to quantify this stuff is pretty pointless. As people gain experience with relationships and get "older," (as have I) it's hard to find potential partners who have a clean slate.

Even with unfaithfulness being a huge betrayal of trust, there are degrees. At the risk of seeming to quantify after saying this stuff can't be quantified, for me the degree of trust would be based on a few factors, such as the number of relationships in which a person cheated, how the person felt about what they did, what they did AFTER the affair within the relationship, what reason they gave for the infidelity, as well as the overall sense of integrity exhibited in other areas of their life.

That said I would likely never be able to trust a serial cheater. However, a person who admits to a single affair many years ago, when they felt trapped in an unhealthy relationship, who worked to reduce the pain caused by the affair, did the "right thing" eventually, and who felt badly afterwards, may deserve a chance. If the person and I got along well, were well matched, compatible, falling in love, and everything else was a go, I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity for happiness. Life is way too short and compatible people too rare to hold relatively ancient history against someone.

To me, I look at the entire picture.
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:12 PM
 
7,713 posts, read 12,585,212 times
Reputation: 12365
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Simple question. Women who are very faithful when they are in a relationship, however, when they are single-all bets are off. Do men view women with many sexual partners as untrustworthy? Obviously this SHOULD be a case by case scenario...but I have a feeling it's not.

Opinions?
Of they course they aren't trustworthy. That's why you don't open your legs to every tom, dick, and harry in town. No man wants a woman who's been ran through more times than the 405 freeway.

Last edited by allenk893; 04-16-2012 at 02:22 PM..
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Old 04-16-2012, 02:22 PM
 
4,217 posts, read 7,289,482 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893 View Post
Of they course they aren't trustworthy. That's why you don't open your legs to every tom, dick, and harry in town. No man wants a woman who's been ran through more times than the 405 freeway.
^^Case in point
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