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[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance.
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me.
Do you agree or disagree?
Alright, let me break down your list one by one.
1. Er, what's wrong with text messaging or even talking to someone before you meet them or their parents? Usually, the majority of people a teen meets is at school, so they're going to talk to them long before you have the chance to. When I was growing up, all my parents wanted to know was who I was hanging out with and where was I going. I didn't need to halt all contact until they talked to them. You should do the same.
2. Dating, especially at that age, should be fun and enjoyable. Worry about marriage later, and don't view any potential partner as marriage material, especially at the age.
3. As someone who is a Christian, I can say that's a bunch of crap. I have friends of all faiths, or lack of, and they're all good people. Their religion doesn't define their personal ethics or how "good" they are.
4. No. What's going to happen is it might backfire and you'll have your daughter rebel, and lacking safe sex knowledge might end up pregnant or with a disease. Secondly, this tripe causes people to rush into a marriage that they may not be ready or even compatible for just for the sake of having sex. Instead of clinging to archaic principles, teach your daughter safe sex.
5. That I agree with. It's about finding someone who will complement you, not complete you.
6. You sound like a crazy killer with that statement.
7. True. People change, but you shouldn't expect to be the reason for that.
8. True, but at that age dreams and visions change. I am not the person I thought I would be back when I was a teen, and quite frankly I am happy for that.
9. Are you sure? You make statements like how a person who isn't passionate for God isn't a good person. You don't seem to be a good judge of character.
10. Uh, implied inbreeding is always creepy.
Honestly, you sound way too overbearing and controlling, and it sounds like it comes from extreme fundamentalism. You need to watch it, because if you don't your child will rebel when she gets older. Some of the most promiscuous women that I know were the product of fathers like you, and you don't want that.
Don't listen to those who claim your list is "outdated" or "unrealistic" or otherwise not recommendable. Most of them have been brainwashed by the secular culture.
Most people just call it 'culture'.
You're so endearing I don't know which smiley to use
Wow. I'm pretty sure you are not joking, so I'm impressed. Thanks for stimulating the discussion.
I haven't read the whole thread, but except for 7 and at a later stage of life 8 and even later 2, as the father of a teenage girl, I think I disagree with each of them.
I guess one has to ask, what is the purpose for these rules. If the purpose is to make a better person or to prevent bad outcomes like teen pregnancy or substance abuse, I don't think rules like those presented are the best way to go. It turns out that the red states, where people hold more socially conservative views like the OP's, tend to have a higher rate of most social pathologies than blue states. Red states have show many more signs of erosion of families than the socially more liberal blue states. Viewership of Desperate Housewives is much higher in red states. Divorce rates are higher. Teen pregnancy rates are a lot higher. So, are the rates of crime, sexual disease, alcohol abuse, methamphetamine use, number of sexual partners, per capita purchases of online pornography, etc. [You can find all of this on the web, as I did many months ago. I don't have the sites at this point]. It is not obvious to me that trying to impose what seem to be conservative or old-fashioned rules actually produces better results on average.
It further turns out that in countries like the Netherlands, where it would not be uncommon for teens to sleep together under the roof of a parent, have much lower rates of teen pregnancy (and abortion) than in the US. It seems likely that pretending that things aren't going to happen, by making rules that probably aren't going to be followed, produces undesirable results a fair amount of the time.
I do think that helping your children to set high standards for themselves as some posters have stated and helping them have a good opinion of themselves, as thriftylefty states above. I don't think that following the OP's rules are the best way to achieve those ends.
The best inoculation against abuse, unwanted pregnancy and similar problems you can give a girl is a healthy bunch of self-esteem. If both parents have a good relationship with the girl and have been there for her and emotionally supportive of her throughout childhood, she'll most likely navigate the tricky waters of relating to the opposite sex well enough. And she'll know who to go to if questions or potential problems arise.
[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance.
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me.
Do you agree or disagree?
Sounds ridiculously creepy and asinine, bordering on flat-out perverted. I would never say most of this nonsense to my own daughter!
Last edited by Lunar Delta; 04-18-2012 at 10:56 PM..
[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance.
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me.
Do you agree or disagree?
Ummm. Number 3? You are VERY closed-minded.
This also makes you sound arrogant. Number 6? Perhaps your body will fit into the bed/trunk of his parents' vehicles too. Just saying...
[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance.
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me.
[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance.
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me.
Do you agree or disagree?
The way the topic headers worded, there doesn't seem to be a teenage daughter, and good you don't. She'd be a perfect candidate for teenage runaway with her picture on a milk carton.
Number 10 makes you sound creepy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by byfuglien
I love it. I think I'll use some of that.
Not surprising taking into consideration your thread, and issue with obsessive unrealistic thoughts.
[1.]No rendezvous, phone calls, text messaging, etc. until I meet the kid and his parents. Depends on her age.
[2.]Dating is for mating. Don't date anyone that does not meet the qualifications for you marrying him. Dating is for exploring the opposite sex, and I don't necessarily mean sexually. Dating should teach her not only the types she wants to spend her life with, but the types she doesn't.
[3.]Don't date any man who is not passionate for God. Those types of fellas will not be passionate for you. Disagree strongly. This is an atheist household.
[4.]Sex is for marriage. Period. Once she's 18, sex is her business and none of mine.
[5.]You need to be a who person. Live and love life as though you will be single all your life. The man for you will envelope you like a glove. Hopefully not like OJ's gloves.
[6.]Remind him that his body will fit into the bed of my pickup. You can intimidate him without death threats. Or maybe you can't.
[7.]The relationship that you have with any man will change. That includes the relationship you have with me. Evaluate the fella's potential as well as his current performance. As long as it's not his sexual performance, riiiight?
[8.]Find out what the guys dreams and visions are. Assess how hard he is working at fulfilling them. I agree.
[9.]I am the best judge of character you have in assessing a man. Ask me anything you want about any fella that you might even consider. Somewhat creepy.
[10.]While you are a teenager, you don't date anyone more frequently than you date me. Very creepy.
My relevant experience includes three grown sons and a grown daughter. And two grandkids.
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