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Does he seem to be depressed overall? Much of what you've listed, in terms of his actions, fits the bill for depression, down to the not being happy with somebody and not even being able to identify WHY you're not happy with somebody. But if he's interacting normally in other areas of his life, and his distance is just with you, that wouldn't hold water.
Marrriage counseling sounds like a waste of time. Tell him the problems. Give him a date, and fillout the papers for divorce. Time for a change. Make it happen or keep blaming him....the fact that you want to "talk" means to me you want him to change. He won't. You know that.
Marrriage counseling sounds like a waste of time. Tell him the problems. Give him a date, and fillout the papers for divorce. Time for a change. Make it happen or keep blaming him....the fact that you want to "talk" means to me you want him to change. He won't. You know that.
No. I just had flashbacks to my previous completely dysfunctional marriage. When on a sinking ship, just jump. At some point you get tired of bailing water. The ship is still sinking.
My current guy...is so great. I am happy. I am blessed. He is a major keeper.
No. I just had flashbacks to my previous completely dysfunctional marriage. When on a sinking ship, just jump. At some point you get tired of bailing water. The ship is still sinking.
My current guy...is so great. I am happy. I am blessed. He is a major keeper.
Part of the problem is the fact that you cannot control anyone except yourself. You can only control how you react to your husband's chronic depression, but not how he behaves.
Perhaps you should take yourself to counseling, solo, and figure out how to live your life, regardless of what's going on with your husband/relationship/lack thereof. No more sour puss might be a relief to both of you.
If you don't deal with your own issues, you will find them cropping up again, in another form, somewhere down the road.
No, you guys could have been right. In fact, one thing I'm considering just now is that possibly I felt he should be more...I don't know..."there" (mentally) as a husband v. a boyfriend.
One really does have to look at all angles of this. Yet another reason I'm looking forward to marriage counseling.
I went to many counseling sessions before I called it a day on my marriage. My ex refused to go, so I went alone. It helped me with the feelings of guilt and failure, and to understand that sometimes, we simply fall in love with people that we are not meant to be with. It happens.
Best of luck to you, JerZ. Be happy.
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