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Old 04-17-2012, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,569,981 times
Reputation: 53073

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Does he seem to be depressed overall? Much of what you've listed, in terms of his actions, fits the bill for depression, down to the not being happy with somebody and not even being able to identify WHY you're not happy with somebody. But if he's interacting normally in other areas of his life, and his distance is just with you, that wouldn't hold water.
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:11 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,357,132 times
Reputation: 26469
Marrriage counseling sounds like a waste of time. Tell him the problems. Give him a date, and fillout the papers for divorce. Time for a change. Make it happen or keep blaming him....the fact that you want to "talk" means to me you want him to change. He won't. You know that.
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,156,261 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Marrriage counseling sounds like a waste of time. Tell him the problems. Give him a date, and fillout the papers for divorce. Time for a change. Make it happen or keep blaming him....the fact that you want to "talk" means to me you want him to change. He won't. You know that.
Hey, hey, hey! Is your dude in the dog house?
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:16 PM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,357,132 times
Reputation: 26469
No. I just had flashbacks to my previous completely dysfunctional marriage. When on a sinking ship, just jump. At some point you get tired of bailing water. The ship is still sinking.

My current guy...is so great. I am happy. I am blessed. He is a major keeper.
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:18 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
No. I just had flashbacks to my previous completely dysfunctional marriage. When on a sinking ship, just jump. At some point you get tired of bailing water. The ship is still sinking.

My current guy...is so great. I am happy. I am blessed. He is a major keeper.
I am glad to hear it, Jasper.
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Old 04-17-2012, 09:19 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,648,445 times
Reputation: 12334
This makes me sad.
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Old 04-17-2012, 11:01 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,814 posts, read 6,784,755 times
Reputation: 2590
You deserve to be happy friend.
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Old 04-17-2012, 11:24 PM
 
2,650 posts, read 3,011,899 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
This makes me sad.
Yes. So much beauty, so much hurt, this world we live in.
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Old 04-18-2012, 05:20 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,396 posts, read 24,449,916 times
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Part of the problem is the fact that you cannot control anyone except yourself. You can only control how you react to your husband's chronic depression, but not how he behaves.

Perhaps you should take yourself to counseling, solo, and figure out how to live your life, regardless of what's going on with your husband/relationship/lack thereof. No more sour puss might be a relief to both of you.

If you don't deal with your own issues, you will find them cropping up again, in another form, somewhere down the road.
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Old 04-18-2012, 05:48 AM
 
37,608 posts, read 45,988,534 times
Reputation: 57194
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
No, you guys could have been right. In fact, one thing I'm considering just now is that possibly I felt he should be more...I don't know..."there" (mentally) as a husband v. a boyfriend.

One really does have to look at all angles of this. Yet another reason I'm looking forward to marriage counseling.
I went to many counseling sessions before I called it a day on my marriage. My ex refused to go, so I went alone. It helped me with the feelings of guilt and failure, and to understand that sometimes, we simply fall in love with people that we are not meant to be with. It happens.

Best of luck to you, JerZ. Be happy.
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