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You know, things like this are really valid & are important to hear, but the fact is, it just doesn't describe my situation precisely. I don't quite know how to explain it, you know? I'm not 100% happy with my life, but I AM very happy with it. I've come far in life and what's more important is that I know how much farther I have left to go & I'm excited for it. I am a happy person. Some might say that the fact that I have to say that aloud is a sign of unhappiness, but I'd say they really are overanalyzing things a bit.
The thing that makes me feel bad is that I am a GREAT person & an amazing guy, with stories to tell, laughs to share, tickles to give....whatever, you get my drift. And girls just don't seem to want to be with me. And when it seems as though I have a chance, I end up being lied to or they pick someone else over me. I'm fine with the latter, but I despise the former. It's one of those things that makes me dislike women.
I do realize, though, that not all women are going to be like that. Even if MOST women are conniving, mendacious sacks of useless flesh, it doesn't mean all of them are. I guess I've just had horrific luck. Which seems statistically unlikely, but I guess it is what it is.
I respect and understand the argument of "it's not the girls, it's YOU". But when it's the GIRLS lying to me & leaving me for other men...it just doesn't really seem that way, especially when I've always held true to my principles and my beliefs. Not sure how to explain it any better than that.
Just have to be patient, I guess. And try to never give up hope.
Can I ask an honest question? Why do you want a girl in your life? Just Curious.
Can I ask an honest question? Why do you want a girl in your life? Just Curious.
I never did until somewhat recently. The year after college, truth be told. I just felt that I was missing out on something important & I decided to start trying. When I found out it was so miserable, with girls lying & generally being horrible human beings, well.....I guess I just didn't expect that. I was a bit taken aback.
I never did until somewhat recently. The year after college, truth be told. I just felt that I was missing out on something important & I decided to start trying. When I found out it was so miserable, with girls lying & generally being horrible human beings, well.....I guess I just didn't expect that. I was a bit taken aback.
Question, Prior to you finishing college, did you date at all?
That's basically going from the frying pan into the fire.
This is gonna sound gross, but masterbate. Alot. I know, I know, but being a guy our brains get all warped when we have pent up sexual energy. I know that once I've...er....disposed of my sexual cravings it's far easier to see the forest for the trees so to speak.
Women are people. They're not to be revlied. They're not to be idolized. What has brought me happyness is the realization that relationships are an accessory to our lives. Importaint ones, yes, but on an existential level only we truly experience ourselves and our consciousness. Only we truly feel our pain, our joy, our thoughts and ultamitley we are the ones who die, not those around us.
Question, Prior to you finishing college, did you date at all?
I got stood up at a movie theater senior year of high school & Prom was more of a "group" thing. In college, I asked girls out, but they (& I, truth be told) were always busy, so it never happened.
The thing that makes me feel bad is that I am a GREAT person & an amazing guy, with stories to tell, laughs to share, tickles to give....whatever, you get my drift. And girls just don't seem to want to be with me. And when it seems as though I have a chance, I end up being lied to or they pick someone else over me. I'm fine with the latter, but I despise the former. It's one of those things that makes me dislike women.
What kind of women are you attracted to? You know how some women are attracted to bad boys? Are you attracted to bad girls?
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I do realize, though, that not all women are going to be like that.Mod cut: orphaned. I guess I've just had horrific luck. Which seems statistically unlikely, but I guess it is what it is.
Mod cut: Orphaned. No woman wants to be considered the one exception to her sex because all other women are conniving, mendacious sacks of useless flesh. Would you want to be with a woman that hated all men - except for you? Because chances are - if she thinks that poorly or all men - she'll be just waiting for you to show your true colors, too. And even if you don't - she probably will think you have somewhere down the line. The same goes for the way you see women.
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I respect and understand the argument of "it's not the girls, it's YOU". But when it's the GIRLS lying to me & leaving me for other men...it just doesn't really seem that way, especially when I've always held true to my principles and my beliefs. Not sure how to explain it any better than that.
Just have to be patient, I guess. And try to never give up hope.
There is some truth to the whole common denominator thing. Maybe you did pick lousy women. But the point is not to then think that all women are lousy. The point is to think - why did YOU pick THESE women? What was it about them that you found attractive? And once again, a few women do not represent an entire gender. I knew some guys who cheated on their wives and yet, I still understand that not ALL men cheat on their wives.
I got stood up at a movie theater senior year of high school & Prom was more of a "group" thing. In college, I asked girls out, but they (& I, truth be told) were always busy, so it never happened.
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Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
There is some truth to the whole common denominator thing. Maybe you did pick lousy women. But the point is not to then think that all women are lousy. The point is to think - why did YOU pick THESE women? What was it about them that you found attractive? And once again, a few women do not represent an entire gender. I knew some guys who cheated on their wives and yet, I still understand that not ALL men cheat on their wives.
It's important to find women who respect you, and truth be told, many will not.
Some things that I have come up with for myself to gauge women in the future:
1) Can you see her hanging out with your family, even the weird eccentric members?
2) Can you see her introducing you to her family and friends with full confidence and pride?
3) Has she ever flaked on you?
4) How does she treat others, particularly other men?
Not too long ago, I fell for a woman who was negative on EVERY single one of these points. Yet somehow, my emotions carried me away towards her. Meeting people like that will make you bitter. Do a better job of screening, and you'll meet better people and your opinion of people will change.
Of course, I'm basing this advice on the assumption that you are kind, loyal person yourself.
Start dating women instead of girls. Not that all bad experiences will go away, but they will be different. If you are dating women and referring to them as girls, maybe that is a problem.
Bitterness won't help you. Move on. Try a different tactic. Try new places to meet women. Be an excellent person and you will attract excellent people. Have patience. Maybe take a break from pursuing women and relax. Sometimes when you aren't seeking a partner, that is when you find one.
The best relationships are hard work, and the ebbs and flows of a relationship will have you thinking many things you haven't thought of yet. Happiness is relative and it waxes and wanes.
I agree...try dating a woman who is emotionally mature and isn't delusional about being rescued by their knight in shining armor.
Try new places, like the post says, don't limit yourself to one avenue. You need to stay busy and think positive....I almost guarantee, a good woman will WANT to be around you.
It's tough to fall into the trap of having to make someone else happy...especially when they are miserable.
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Yet somehow, my emotions carried me away towards her. Meeting people like that will make you bitter. Do a better job of screening, and you'll meet better people and your opinion of people will change. 