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What kind of women are you attracted to? You know how some women are attracted to bad boys? Are you attracted to bad girls?
Wait... WHAT??? Look - if that's how you see women, you will never find love. NO woman wants to be with someone that views women like that. No woman wants to be considered the one exception to her sex because all other women are conniving, mendacious sacks of useless flesh. Would you want to be with a woman that hated all men - except for you? Because chances are - if she thinks that poorly or all men - she'll be just waiting for you to show your true colors, too. And even if you don't - she probably will think you have somewhere down the line. The same goes for the way you see women.
There is some truth to the whole common denominator thing. Maybe you did pick lousy women. But the point is not to then think that all women are lousy. The point is to think - why did YOU pick THESE women? What was it about them that you found attractive? And once again, a few women do not represent an entire gender. I knew some guys who cheated on their wives and yet, I still understand that not ALL men cheat on their wives.
Riiiiiig it's all his fault. You can't even admit that there was a possibility that the women in his own country are difficult to begin with so it doesn't really matter what girl he picked anyway because he was going to wind up with a dud.
It's important to find women who respect you, and truth be told, many will not.
Some things that I have come up with for myself to gauge women in the future:
1) Can you see her hanging out with your family, even the weird eccentric members?
2) Can you see her introducing you to her family and friends with full confidence and pride?
3) Has she ever flaked on you?
4) How does she treat others, particularly other men?
Not too long ago, I fell for a woman who was negative on EVERY single one of these points. Yet somehow, my emotions carried me away towards her. Meeting people like that will make you bitter. Do a better job of screening, and you'll meet better people and your opinion of people will change.
Of course, I'm basing this advice on the assumption that you are kind, loyal person yourself.
This is good advice!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01
Riiiiiig it's all his fault. You can't even admit that there was a possibility that the women in his own country are difficult to begin with so it doesn't really matter what girl he picked anyway because he was going to wind up with a dud.
And this is... well - if you want to stay bitter - listen to this guy!
I think some of you are reacting way too harshly and with too much of a knee-jerk response to the OP. I think it's only human nature for people to get aggravated and frustrated when it comes to dating (or for that matter, anything else.) I couldn't tell you how many women I know complain about men and use the fact that one dude acted like a total jerk to them to come to conclusions like, "All men are pigs!," or "All men are jerks!" or something of that variety. While being bitter for extended periods of time or having it as a defining characteristic of yourself is very unhealthy, I bet all of you would be lying if you say that you never in your entire life had at least a sliver of bitterness towards the opposite sex.
It's perfectly normal to be angry, upset and frustrated, but what defines our character is what we choose to do with that frustration. When I feel sad or frustrated, I do something to either make me feel better or I work it off. I would read a relaxing and happy book, play a video game, lift at the gym as hard as I can until I puke, etc. If I am feeling really depressed, instead on venting on facebook or asking for self-pity, I'll find one very good and close friend and just talk to him about it. When you harbor bitterness for lengthy periods of time or let it define who you are is when it becomes unhealthy and when you need to seek serious help.
I think some of you ladies are acting way too condescending and judgmental to a man who is speaking honestly and trying to open what is in his heart. We all have "dark sides," and it's very difficult at times to admit when we harbor negative feelings like this at the risk of attracting negative judgment like what many of the ladies here are exhibiting. I think you would help him much more by giving him helpful suggestions, like what I did, instead of insulting him.
OP, I wish you the best. Don't let bitterness define who you are.
Loyalty and honor, require consistency of character, which a certain group severely lacks. Women are emotional creatures while men are logical creatures. This is why a woman would be completely engrossed in a conversation about how blowing bubbles out of your butt made you feel during your last hot bath, and completely disinterested in a conversation about global politics or how technology improves our lives. True story.
I could be wrong, but your post sound like men have superior values in the way of loyalty and honor.
Correct.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn
I don't believe that's based on gender, but upbringing.
Women, all around the world are the same. A Thai woman will do just the same as an American woman. A Chinese woman will do just the same as a Ukrainian woman. It's in a woman's nature to be a WOMAN.
The quicker men figure this out the less they will fight with women and cease to try to figure them out.
loyalty and honor, require consistency of character, which a certain group severely lacks. Women are emotional creatures while men are logical creatures.
Women are emotional creatures while men are logical creatures.
Yet another in a long line of inaccurate, pithy and ridiculous generalizations which appear on this Board with frightening regularity. I know countless men who are highly emotional. They get tears in their eyes watching sad movies or when hearing about animal cruelty. Conversely, I know many women who are basically emotionless yet inordinately logical.
And how sexist can you be to believe that women aren't capable of having a conversation about global politics? Every day M-F in my Econ class teaching graduate students we have this discussion. The female students are invariably the better-versed and more articulate students than the males. At least on this subject.
Yet another in a long line of inaccurate, pithy and ridiculous generalizations which appear on this Board with frightening regularity. I know countless men who are highly emotional. They get tears in their eyes watching sad movies or when hearing about animal cruelty. Conversely, I know many women who are basically emotionless yet inordinately logical.
And how sexist can you be to believe that women aren't capable of having a conversation about global politics? Every day M-F in my Econ class teaching graduate students we have this discussion. The female students are invariably the better-versed and more articulate students than the males. At least on this subject.
Wow, little defensive arent we? Just because I say women are emotional creatures, doesnt mean Im saying they are incapable of logic (although we arent that far off from the truth). Reverse is true for men. The fact that men are logical creatures, doesnt mean they are incapable of emotion. As for discussion about global poitics, I am pretty certain 99% of women on this planet couldnt care less to be involved in that conversation. There is only one truth, and you cant cover it up through denial. You can persue it.
Women are emotional creatures and wired differently than men, who are logical.
It's partly why we are attracted to each other......
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Riiiiiig it's all his fault. You can't even admit that there was a possibility that the women in his own country are difficult to begin with so it doesn't really matter what girl he picked anyway because he was going to wind up with a dud.
Yet somehow, my emotions carried me away towards her. Meeting people like that will make you bitter. Do a better job of screening, and you'll meet better people and your opinion of people will change. 