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I'm sorry but after you said other women got bored with you and even cheated, well, I can't completely believe that your wife has zero libido and is not interested in sex at all. There are women who are embarrassed and not very experienced. Heck there are times when hubby is away for the weekend and I do what I gotta do so the toys come out. Sometimes I enjoy it more because I'm done when I'm done.
It's quite possible, but we don't know.
All we can go off of is what the OP says.
However, I'm not as quick to jump on him and assume he's a bastard, since I have a good friend who has similar issues to his wife, except she DOES discuss it, and just cannot get into the mood no matter what.
Vacuuming, cooking, changing nappies and doing the laundry is the most reliable foreplay and will turn your woman on like nothing else...MEN take note.
Vacuuming, cooking, changing nappies and doing the laundry is the most reliable foreplay and will turn your woman on like nothing else...MEN take note.
Better yet, hire a maid. A nice, efficient, but homely one.
I wondered that briefly. Pretending to hate sex would be a good way to be "faithful" to the guy she is having an affair with. But I really think she is just sexless.
However, I'm not as quick to jump on him and assume he's a bastard, since I have a good friend who has similar issues to his wife, except she DOES discuss it, and just cannot get into the mood no matter what.
I'm not assuming he's a bastard. I'm assuming he just may not be that good in bed based on his comment about other women getting bored with him and they've cheated on him. I've had bf's that were horrible in bed. I wasn't giving 150% and I wasn't the initiator. It's not that easy to tell someone that they're not good so I wouldn't say anything and even though I didn't enjoy the sex that much, I didn't want to insult the guy either. Can't imagine what it would do to their self esteem. When you don't enjoy something you're not going to get in the mood for it. Unfortunately those were deal breakers for me. I wasn't going to stay in a relationship with someone who did nothing for me sexually.
I've come to the conclusion that the types of women who make a good wife are generally relatively boring and/or stingy lovers with lower than average libidos.
Let me clarify - I am NOT expecting a slave. I am married to a woman who is wonderful in all ways except one, and that's that she has no libido and when we do have sex, she lies there like a mannequin. I don't expect to have clean socks and food on the table or anything archaic, just someone who is faithful, a partner, and who loves me fully and doesn't look for any outside action.
I haven't cheated, and won't. I do, however, use this board to vent a little bit at times and have to please myself often.
I romance her, I treat her well, etc., but she is NEVER in the mood. In fact, in our counseling sessions, she admits she has "never really enjoyed sex, and never had much desire for it".
Women I've dated who were sexual vixens got bored with me after a while, or, cheated on me.
Am I right? Is it almost impossible to find a woman who is good marriage material AND has the kind of sex drive that most men would like their wife to have??
It seems so, and here on this site, it also seems like most of the women who admit to having a high libido are bisexual/bicurious, don't marry and don't want to, etc. etc. etc.
I'm sorry dude, she's just not that into you.
She cannot be a good wife without providing intimacy. I know because I kicked my hub to the curb for this same reason...it is actually abusive and controlling behaviour. It means her needs (or lack thereof) are more important than yours.
It's a sign the marriage is dead. Hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but it's like an old dog, toothless, blind, in pain. Put it out of it's misery.
I'm not assuming he's a bastard. I'm assuming he just may not be that good in bed based on his comment about other women getting bored with him and they've cheated on him. I've had bf's that were horrible in bed. I wasn't giving 150% and I wasn't the initiator. It's not that easy to tell someone that they're not good so I wouldn't say anything and even though I didn't enjoy the sex that much, I didn't want to insult the guy either. Can't imagine what it would do to their self esteem. When you don't enjoy something you're not going to get in the mood for it. Unfortunately those were deal breakers for me. I wasn't going to stay in a relationship with someone who did nothing for me sexually.
See, I don't get that. Maybe I'm different, but I never had a problem gently telling a guy what I like or what he was doing that I didn't like.
I wasn't mean about it, it wasn't "God, you suck, get off me" it was "you know, I really like when you XXXXX" or, if he was even less skilled "try doing XXXXXX it drives me wild." Now, if he STILL didn't get it, then I'd have to go to Plan B, but the OP hasn't said anything of the sort has happened here.
See, I don't get that. Maybe I'm different, but I never had a problem gently telling a guy what I like or what he was doing that I didn't like.
I wasn't mean about it, it wasn't "God, you suck, get off me" it was "you know, I really like when you XXXXX" or, if he was even less skilled "try doing XXXXXX it drives me wild." Now, if he STILL didn't get it, then I'd have to go to Plan B, but the OP hasn't said anything of the sort has happened here.
Oh yeah, that I get. You have to tell them how you like things or don't like things, which I did. They just didn't get it. Some were just uncoordinated. Ever see Sex and the City? There's the episode where Carrie has sex with this guy the day before Charlotte gets married and this guy was like a jackhammer. She couldn't walk the next day lol. I dated a guy like that. He may very well be the reason for my sciatica problems LOL ..but seriously though. We don't know the wife's side. At her age I would think she has a libido but if she's chasing around a few toddlers and keeping house, well...
....Women I've dated who were sexual vixens got bored with me after a while, or, cheated on me.......
1) "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen," or 2) "It's the strok*r not the poker that gets the home fires burning."
In other words, don't place blame on your partner, Tim. That's just lame.
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I'm not assuming he's a bastard. I'm assuming he just may not be that good in bed based on his comment about other women getting bored with him and they've cheated on him. I've had bf's that were horrible in bed. I wasn't giving 150% and I wasn't the initiator. It's not that easy to tell someone that they're not good so I wouldn't say anything and even though I didn't enjoy the sex that much, I didn't want to insult the guy either. Can't imagine what it would do to their self esteem. When you don't enjoy something you're not going to get in the mood for it. Unfortunately those were deal breakers for me. I wasn't going to stay in a relationship with someone who did nothing for me sexually.
..but seriously though. We don't know the wife's side. At her age I would think she has a libido but if she's chasing around a few toddlers and keeping house, well...