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So yes I am just starting out with online dating at a website with the word fish in it. After wasting many years with traditional ways of meeting women (ie. meeting them in person) I am throwing in the towel for that method. I've had little success with that way of meeting people. Seems like most of these girls are either cheaters (ie. married/have bf already) or have some sort of other issues going in their life. Plus always going out really adds up financially wise, especially with gas the price it is these days. Its too much effort for little reward. So I figure online dating is the way to go!
So far I'd say it has lots of pluses. First off, just being able to read their profile is excellent. That saves alot of time in terms of trying to find someone who is compatible with you. Also, you can easily message them if you have any questions. The, "my matches" feature is also great since it only shows me women who I am, "compatible" with. This turns out to be primarily short women, which works great for me since I am only 5'3.
But there is one little problem: Its difficult setting up dates with them. I usually try to message about 5 women each day in the, "will respond" tab. Out of those 5 women I'll be lucky to get 1 response and half the time the response is vague and stops after that. One girl messaged me back saying, "hello." and I responded back with, "hi, how are you?" but that's as far as it got. Not sure if this is just normal behavior for online dating sites.
My profile pics are good, very mature and honest. Also my profile is honest and fun. I am not one of those weirdos who is 40 years old messaging 25 year old chicks. I am 23 years old messaging women in the 18-27 age range. Also I am messaging chicks who are in my league, not going after the fake barbie doll girls. The only real success I had was with a girl who messaged me. She was interested in me, I was interested in her but one little problem: She lived 70 miles away.
Any tips for the online dating world? I am looking for people who have actively tried this out.
Childless women 18-25 are a tough crowd, online. Women seem to hit online in full force around 28-35. So you're at a big numbers disadvantage by age online, and it ought to be much easier meeting people in person.
That said, if you're going to do it, you have to be the interesting one. "Hey what's up" isn't going to cut it. Women on these sites will carry the conversational load, only if they really want to meet you. If they're unsure about you, then you might get a response, but they basically see it as your job to entertain them or create some sort of intrigue.
I've had way better luck saying absurd, funny, and sometimes perverted things (within limits), than I have being clean-cut/strait-laced. The young demographic you're targeting is usually just bored, seeking attention, and generally finds online to be an awkward and unflattering way to meet people.
Last edited by Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus; 04-25-2012 at 07:29 AM..
My understanding of online dating, and, my limited experience from around 12 years ago when I tried it, is there are TEN TIMES as many men as women, just like in real life. ANY woman, no matter how unattractive, will have her inbox FLOODED, to the point she can barely keep up, and if you don't stand out, you won't get a response.
What the last poster says makes sense - a "hi what's up" won't get much online. In real life it might, since it means you had the balls to approach her, but online, its one of 30 "hi what's ups" she got that week. You may very well have an amazing personality, but your message has to convey that, which is hard to do!
I met my husband (the second time, we had dated before) getting lunch one day. Now, we knew each other, but, that's not a bad way to find someone.
See a cute girl, just talk to her! Whether its at a restaurant, a store, whatever. Will she likely have a boyfriend, or turn out to not be someone you like? Probably, but the odds online really aren't that much better, it just saves you gas and having to "grow a pair" as they say.
As a side note, I *have* heard that eharmony actually is decent, but its super expensive, and my brother actually has had "no matches" even from that site, and he's in no way a strange, weird, or unattractive guy.
I've been doing it for about 4 months now. It's really frustrating. I have been out with a lot of guys and a lot of them only went as far as one date. The few guys I actually liked and would be interested in didn't seem to really be into an actual relationship. I think you may be a little too young. A lot of girls your age are still in college and they meet lots of guys without having to go the online route yet. I don't think it's out of line for you to start a conversation with hey how's your week going. It really sucks to write a thoughtful email and not get a response. Good luck. I think I'm ready for a break from it. Too much disappointment.
Few things that people here have already mentioned but I will emphasize. Online dating is a different world. The ratio of men to women is like 100 to 1. The more attractive a woman is the higher the ratio. My only advice to you is don't lie about anything especially YOUR HEIGHT! That is a real deal breaker for most women. I was on match.com a while back and it was a great experience. I met a lot of women and I really enjoyed dating the older women i.e. 5-6 years older than myself. I'm a fairly good looking guy and I'm tall so that right there is a big plus. But I got rejected a few times as well. It was a really good experience and exposed to many more women than I would have ever have met in person.
I think plenty of fish and some of the other free dating sites have a lot of people looking for a lot of different things. The sites where you have to pay I think have people that are going to be much more serious about finding a match and looking for a bf/husband/relationship of some sort. POF has a lot of both sexes just looking to have fun and sleep around, party etc.
One thing I'd like to mention though is people nowadays are so into their "electronic" life especially YOUNG WOMEN! They have an entire reality that exists through Facebook, Twitter, social media, text, chat, etc. I can't even imagine what it's like trying to meet some woman in person nowadays for a guy. A "hi" or "hi how are you what's your name" doesn't mean anything to a young woman when she's got 10 guys she's already chatting with via Facebook, text, etc. Dating is a warzone out there. LOL.....
I didn't even think about facebook...I make it very clear on FB that I am married, plus I keep my profile very private, yet every once in a while, usually based on a comment I make on some other person's post, I get guys trying to "friend" me who have no reason to do so unless they're trolling for women.
One thing I'd like to mention though is people nowadays are so into their "electronic" life especially YOUNG WOMEN! They have an entire reality that exists through Facebook, Twitter, social media, text, chat, etc. I can't even imagine what it's like trying to meet some woman in person nowadays for a guy. A "hi" or "hi how are you what's your name" doesn't mean anything to a young woman when she's got 10 guys she's already chatting with via Facebook, text, etc. Dating is a warzone out there. LOL.....
And yet another example of how technology has destroyed another facet of human existence. Nice going, Gates, Jobs et al.
So far I'd say it has lots of pluses. First off, just being able to read their profile is excellent. That saves alot of time in terms of trying to find someone who is compatible with you. Also, you can easily message them if you have any questions. The, "my matches" feature is also great since it only shows me women who I am, "compatible" with. This turns out to be primarily short women, which works great for me since I am only 5'3.
In an ideal world, yes, you are 'compatible' with those short women. However, this is far from being an ideal world and the reality is that those short women want TALL dudes, certainly taller than you. I am 5'5" so I speak from Experience, the Greatest of Teachers.
My advice? Switch off the computer, stay away from POF... a real cesspool, and get outside and try to meet women in the 'normal' manner by living your life.
If I was a single American guy I'd seriously try to live abroad for a while and date women from other countries. I think the quality of American women and their standards and expectations are so out of whack. A nice pretty Thai or Fillipino would treat you like a king!
I think eharmony is crap. In spite of putting a strong preference (absolute) that I will not date anyone who has children, I still receive matches with children. Plus, I also put down that I am not overly religious, but it being a personals site geared towards the religious, I get super religious matches all of the time.
Also, I don't understand why people are so hesitant to break out of the 50 mile radius thing. I mean out of all of the criteria you can set on a personals site, this seems the most silly. Back in the day when there weren't cars, buses, planes, or trains, most people found their mates within such a radius. But, now with the means of mobility, one should consider expanding their reach a bit - especially if you are one who complains about the lack of quality people you meet in person.
I say go back to 70-mile girl and have a skype date. If you think it is worth it, one of you may be willing to travel those 70 miles.
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