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True. I think it speaks volumes about the person who does this:
1. They want to escape dealing with what went wrong (their responsibility as well as the other party)
2. They don't love deeply. (They go from one person to the other with no heart committment)
3. They will choose anyone so they don't have to be in alone.
or
4. They want to pass their crazy onto you (just kidding)
Many people have emotional baggage whether they've taken a break or not.
So very true! I was on match.com and this one guy on his profile was saying how his fiancee died a few months ago how he misses her and how he kept two of her pets and for someone to help him and how lonely he was. I was thinking REALLY???
So very true! I was on match.com and this one guy on his profile was saying how his fiancee died a few months ago how he misses her and how he kept two of her pets and for someone to help him and how lonely he was. I was thinking REALLY???
OMG, not only is that way too soon to date, this guy really took on a serious responsibility when he kept two of the pets. Although this is admirable, I have to wonder if he really wants the pets or if he did so because they remind him of her. If it's the latter, he'll eventually resent making that choice.
If you're not self-aware and you don't do the work of analyzing yourself, your motivations, and your mistakes, it doesn't matter how much time you take between relationships.
If you never bother to watch the way you walk, you'll step in the same sh*t over and over and over and over...
I used my dating experience to fine tune my radar. Never dated the same kind of person twice. The only thing they had in common was being hot and being smart as hell.
I think this all the time, when I see dating profiles of men who are "separated"...I mean, really, you don't even have a divorce and you're already out fishing??? Obviously something was wrong with your previous relationship and it's usually not JUST the other person's fault. How about trying to be a healthier, healed person on your own before you drag some innocent person through your baggage? And yes, I know that there can be extenuating circumstances where a divorce situation drags, the marriage is already over, blah blah, blah. But I see it all the time and have been on too many dates with guys who clearly were not over their ex.
One of my very good friends hadn't gone more than a month without a relationship since she was 14....and she's 29 now. After her last relationship (which she jumped into without knowing this guy had multiple felonies and years of jail time) ended up a felony stalking charge for him along with multiple other charges due to him stealing her property, breaking and entering and threatening her family she FINALLY decided to take a break.
I think if she would have given herself enough time between relationships, she wouldn't have kept falling into these traps, with these horrible men. She needed time to sit back and really analyze the relationship before moving on. Now she knows that, but she's so marriage/baby crazy that I'm not sure how much longer her single life is going to last...
Given how many posters on this board make the same basic boneheaded decisions over and over and over and over again, this is excellent advice. Clear your head. Hit the Reset button. Rethink your approach.
I basically dated the same woman over and over again. Neurotic. Artsy. Needy. Finally, I dumped the last one and went cold turkey on dating for a few months. During that time, I had time to reflect on the common thread had been in my dating life and, voila, I figured out what I was doing wrong. Or at least that I was connected with the wrong kind of person. So I started looking at women that, in the past, I might not have considered. The very next person I went out with was my wife. But had I met her before I totally changed my approach to dating, we wouldn't have clicked.
This. I just recently dumped my (now) ex-boyfriend of 3 years whom I also lived with (I moved out the weekend I dumped him). This will be about 3 months ago in the first week of June. I have not dated at all for these very reasons. I am completely out of love with him, but I still need to take time to figure out who this new me is without being "attached" to someone. I have not even so much as had casual sex (don't really do that anyway). I'll likely take an other 2-3 months to myself and will be more than ready to date again with a clear head and better understanding of what I want and need if I am to have a man in my life. May I also add.... that this time to myself has proven to be a DAMN good time. I am learning so much about my self and just am truly enjoying the freedom. Did I love him?..with all of my heart. But I love myself too much to behave desperately because of hurt he caused. Time is too precious and doesn't have to be too short if we make cautious and well thought out decisions. Sometimes you gotta "check out" from everyone else to "check in to you". Just my thoughts and experience.
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