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What is THE first question you ask anybody while in college: "What's your major?"
What is THE first question MOST adults ask each other: "What do you do for a living?"
It's not a judgment. It just is what it is. I enjoy talking to people who majored in a myriad of subjects and can hold a conversation with them; however, if they majored in something "dour" like women's studies or criminal justice, I find that I don't have much to say to them, nor they to me.
You're right, it's not a judgement, it's small talk (it was in college, too). It's not really indicative of anything, other than starting a conversation.
I don't really find Women's Studies "dour." Women's Studies programs are usually cross-curricular, incorporating a wide range of areas of study. Might as well say you find literature, political science, film, art health, social work, psychology, communications, etc. "dour," because these are usually among the disciplines included in Women's Studies curricula. Now, they may not INTEREST you as disciplines, but it's hard to really imagine that a cross-curricular degree program that incorporates a wide range of studies would be accurately described as "dour." I think you have personal baggage tied to the idea of feminism. Where I went to school, feminism had a celebratory connotation, not an angry one. Just my experience. But you obviously have preconceived notions about what type of person a women's studies major is. Just recognize that your presuppositions may or may not be indicative of reality.
If a woman authored a thread "Women: would you date a guy who majored in textile design?," I'd bet that most of them would say NO, THANK YOU. Nice try, Yzette. It's a "symmetrical" issue.
Are you kidding??! Bring on Mr. Textile Design! I collect textiles.
A lot of people take blah jobs they don't really personally identify with, for various reasons. They're just not really "my" people. They should probably date people who share that trait. I'm passionate about my work, and people who don't really "get" that aren't people with whom I identify.
To be fair, a lot of the time even if you do have intellectual interests (eg. arts, science etc.) it may be hard to find a job that suits it even for those that very well want to pursue it (unfortunately, that's often the case with many people who majored in things they liked in college).
You can still be a very intellectual person and enjoy/be passionate about a subject and still work a mundane job, or a job you don't like, out of pragmatism.
I also spent most of my time in college dating male music majors (OMG, SO GAY!!! Or not.). My SO is actually a jazz pianist, in addition to having majored in English as an undergraduate, gone to graduate school for accounting, become a CPA, and working in forensic accounting. Let's hear it for pointless stereotypes about majors that have no actual relevance in life.
Too funny.
My college sweetheart majored in business and ended up a lawyer--after getting his undergrad from Wharton, no less. We met in a gut course before he declared his major and transferred.
My ex-husband majored in biology and wound up teaching, albeit biology; current SO majored in computer science and works in corrections.
I majored in journalism, minored in political science. A journalism degree in it or something similar (English, Communications) was necessary for every job I've ever had. It still opens doors for me, actually, 24 years later. Thing is, although I originally intended to go into political journalism, I wound up a health and science writer. I figured if I was going to deal with b.s., it should at least be organic.
That's just it. Women would like it. I don't think women would be interested in a guy who majored in it, unless he was straight, opened up a thriving textile business and became rich. Since that most likely isn't the case, most women would say no.
It's always interesting to post these kinds of threads, since I'm one of the few who will proffer the point of view most women here don't want to hear.
So...basically you don't have a high opinion of women in general?
That's kind of sad that you can't be more objective.
Imagine if every woman raped by a man blamed all men and thought of them all as predators.
How would YOU feel being lumped in with those kinds of men? Maybe a little insulted or indignant? And rightly so.
You might want to reconsider generalizing so much and lumping all women into the same category. Honestly, this really reflects badly on you and your judgement.
To be fair, a lot of the time even if you do have intellectual interests (eg. arts, science etc.) it may be hard to find a job that suits it if those that want to pursue it don't make it (unfortunately, that's often the case with many people who majored in things they liked in college).
You can still be a very intellectual person and enjoy/be passionate about a subject and still work a mundane job/job you don't like out of pragmatism.
Totally true.
I'm still not really interested in dating somebody who is very blase about his career. It's a quality of life thing. If you're willing to accept (whether its the pragmatic choice or not) an unfulfilling career, what else unfulfilling in life might you be willing to accept?
Mundane jobs often have the long-term effect of seriously denting personal happiness, and being tied to a chronically unhappy person who is always dissatisfied at some level that he isn't getting to put his passions to use (or worse, he doesn't HAVE any passions to put to use) is really not a good position in which to be.
Is your implication not that because they don't ask about it, they don't care? You specifically said, "In fact, most men don't really want to hear about it at all," in reference to education.
My post was in NO way irrelevant to yours. It provided an example of one man who, yeah, DID want to hear about it. But, you know, he's probably the only such man in the world.
No, you your post is about what YOU want to talk about, not what men ask of you. Let's look at your post again:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
Really? I talk about whatI studied all the time. Probably because I loved it, found it fascinating, and still do. Men I've dated generally do like to hear about what interests me, as I like to hear about what interests them. Honestly, if a guy ISN'T interested in hearing about my intellectual pursuits, they're not for me. Just me. My longtime SO and I first connected bonding about literature and our experiences as English majors.
I'm an educator; I would NOT date a man who doesn't care about education (I actually tried, in my early twenties. No thanks, not for me).
Nowhere in your post does it say that men ask you about your education, and that is why it lacks relevancy.
Half the men on here thus far said NO, thanks to a closed poll.
This is inaccurate. Less than half had said "no" when you posted this. Some have said, "it depends on if she's attractive", others have said "yes". You add those two together, and it's more than the number who've said "no". What you may have meant was that "yes" and "no" are tied. Or were, until just now.
You're right, it's not a judgement, it's small talk (it was in college, too). It's not really indicative of anything, other than starting a conversation.
I don't really find Women's Studies "dour." Women's Studies programs are usually cross-curricular, incorporating a wide range of areas of study. Might as well say you find literature, political science, film, art health, social work, psychology, communications, etc. "dour," because these are usually among the disciplines included in Women's Studies curricula. Now, they may not INTEREST you as disciplines, but it's hard to really imagine that a cross-curricular degree program that incorporates a wide range of studies would be accurately described as "dour." I think you have personal baggage tied to the idea of feminism. Where I went to school, feminism had a celebratory connotation, not an angry one. Just my experience. But you obviously have preconceived notions about what type of person a women's studies major is. Just recognize that your presuppositions may or may not be indicative of reality.
Maybe we need to look at WHY someone studies something? WHY would a woman study women's studies and a man not study men's studies? Is it because they feel like a minority, because they were victimized, because they need a collective boost to their self-esteem, or something else?
I have an answer to all of the above fields, if studied on a stand-alone basis on in double-major form:
Literature - they like writing, different genres of writing, it's a hobby and/or they want to teach
Poli Sci - they are fascinated by the mechanics of government and economies, they want to get a JD or MPA (however, since governmental entities are so corrupt and are about people who enjoy power, I would find that "dour," too)
Film, Art, Communications - they like outlets for creativity, in tangible, published or spoken form
Health - they are interested in their physical well-being, are into athletics and fitness, and/or hopefully are taking other physical science courses
Social work - they want to help those who are TRULY less fortunate (the poor, the mentally ill, the physically challenged, BATTERED women) and I would think this is a "stressful" line of work
Psychology - they are interested in the social science that deals with the complexity of how the human mind functions, either for personal interest or to further their career in this area through additional study
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 04-28-2012 at 04:51 PM..
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I collect textiles.
Honestly, this really reflects badly on you and your judgement.
