Expecting to be let down? (guy, family, advice, friends)
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Yes, a lot of us are a little jaded, more then a little cynical and sometimes with good reason. My advice Strawberry is to just stop expecting anything and live in the moment. Enjoy the "right now" of a new guy, the fun of it and don't think of the future. The future will come no matter what, and then you can deal with it then (otherwise known as the Scarlett O'Hara approach to life )
Frankly, I think I should stop reading this forum. I'm starting to get the idea that there's almost nothing but scum out there.
I wouldn't say scum even though I would say odd. I would not fix up any of my female friends with any of my male friends. Most of my female friends are fairly grounded and middle of the road. My male friends on the other hand are either self absorbed self made men, or moody Artistic types who have giant mood swings. The normal guys I know or work with are either married or not into long term relationships.
I wouldn't say scum even though I would say odd. I would not fix up any of my female friends with any of my male friends. Most of my female friends are fairly grounded and middle of the road. My male friends on the other hand are either self absorbed self made men, or moody Artistic types who have giant mood swings. The normal guys I know or work with are either married or not into long term relationships.
I wouldn't say scum even though I would say odd. I would not fix up any of my female friends with any of my male friends. Most of my female friends are fairly grounded and middle of the road. My male friends on the other hand are either self absorbed self made men, or moody Artistic types who have giant mood swings. The normal guys I know or work with are either married or not into long term relationships.
I would agree with Reds take above^
You didn't bold the disclaimer "almost"!
I thought you weren't talking to me for some reason. So, are ya Gemini? I'm still curious.
Maybe it'll help to think about all the good things about your last relationship and how you want to experience those good things again, rather than the bad things.
I wouldn't say scum even though I would say odd. I would not fix up any of my female friends with any of my male friends. Most of my female friends are fairly grounded and middle of the road. My male friends on the other hand are either self absorbed self made men, or moody Artistic types who have giant mood swings. The normal guys I know or work with are either married or not into long term relationships.
I would agree with Reds take above^
Oh good grief -- you agree with me!!! That makes it even more depressing
Hi everyone. There's something that's been bothering me the last couple weeks and I was hoping to hear some outside opinions. I met a seemingly great guy on match about a month ago. We emailed for maybe 2 weeks or so before meeting in person. Things seem to be going pretty well. We've seen each other 5 times, and we don't talk everyday, but usually a few texts every other day or so. I think this is probably pretty normal for the first month?
Anyway, I've faced some major disappointments in relationships in my life. I married my college sweetheart, and he became a cop right after we got married. He changed a lot and he ended up cheating on me with someone at work. I've been semi serious with 2 other guys since then and neither of them worked out. I now find myself bracing for disappointment. So much so that I don't even feel happy about meeting this new guy. I have no reason to believe that he doesn't think things are going well too. But I'm constantly just waiting...waiting for him to say things aren't working out, for him to never call again...instead of just enjoying things and seeing where they go (which logically I know is what I should be doing at this stage) I feel constantly stressed wondering if he's changed his mind.
I know I need to get go of those other relationships. I even saw a counselor for awhile to help me deal with my divorce. So what if things don't work out or he doesn't call. We don't even know each other all that well yet, but I just feel like anymore let downs and I'll be crushed. How do you know that disappointment is a possibility, but still try to keep a positive attitude and hope for the best when dating someone new? I can't seem to find the right balance.
I was just informed by the first man I trusted in years that he is going back to his old girlfriend. After telling me he was going to marry me by the end of the year. After allowing me to tell my family and friends and co-workers all about him.
The point is this--there are never any guarantees that a relationship will work out or that the guy in question will not turn on a dime. It happens.
If you let fear keep you from opening your heart, you will have a string of relationships that end based on your own fears and lack of committment.
Being devastated by the end of a relationship is hell. A hell I have been through too many times. But still...you don't close off. If you think he is actually worth something, then quiet the voices in your head and find out.
Thanks for your perspective. I think it could be that. I don't want to create a self fulfilling prophecy from having a bad attitude...but obviously none of my relationships up to this point at 28 have worked out, so it's hard not to be wary.
Wait till you're 43....it's hard all the time, hon.
I was just informed by the first man I trusted in years that he is going back to his old girlfriend. After telling me he was going to marry me by the end of the year. After allowing me to tell my family and friends and co-workers all about him.
Being devastated by the end of a relationship is hell. A hell I have been through too many times. But still...you don't close off. If you think he is actually worth something, then quiet the voices in your head and find out.
How do you have time to obsess then with all that extra stuff? Are you pulling away from it or thinking about developing more within that realm too?
Why isn't it giving enough back to you that you do care about that guy to that extreme level? Hey at least you are self aware of it...thats good.
Maybe try dating more than one person at a time? Being honest and open and all.
But dating more than one person simultaneously cheats both parties. You cannot truly focus on someone if you are just spreading it all around.
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I'm still curious.
