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Old 04-30-2012, 01:26 PM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 2,129,535 times
Reputation: 1678

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
I decided to ask out this women I've chatted with and shared some laughs and dog appreciation at the dog park several times (having her email from a social group).

I ask her to a dog fundraiser event where you bring your dogs and compete in fun competitions like races and dress-ups. I say "thought you might like to hang out at this fun event, etc."

She responds in bold letters that she finds me repulsive and no way in hell would she ever hang out with me! [Um, OK, that would be a no...]

Now, I'm a good-looking, fit, albeit aging guy, who she's seen interacting pleasantly with people of all stripes (and their dogs). So why she would choose to respond in an ugly, hostile manner does not compute (she's probably just about 5 years younger). I take it as her having big issues (self-esteem or past-abuse from men, or drug or psychological problems, or who knows?).

Anyone else have any horror story "dating" encounters?

Well, one person was very rude to me too. I attributed it to his emotional problems (something was triggered and made him react badly)

One person I know also had a bad encounter like where someone seemed nice at first but then appeared to be very rude

So it could be like you said. Or maybe she misunderstood something you said. Because it does sound "off the scale", uncalled for

Or she has a dissociative personality disorder (one personality appears at one time, and the other at the other time. Maybe one of her personalities likes you and the other one can't stand you)
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:33 PM
 
Location: San Diego
50,155 posts, read 46,811,218 times
Reputation: 33986
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiderGirl View Post
Is it possible that somebody else got hold of her phone and responded? Like a kid or a friend with a warped sense of humor?
Yep, I bet she has a bf and he got the email.
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Lubec, ME
908 posts, read 1,115,830 times
Reputation: 449
Quote:
Originally Posted by ben242000 View Post
I have a feeling the backstory to this would tell a different story.
Bingo. This story only has one side.
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,162 posts, read 3,359,796 times
Reputation: 2209
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
I decided to ask out this women I've chatted with and shared some laughs and dog appreciation at the dog park several times (having her email from a social group).

I ask her to a dog fundraiser event where you bring your dogs and compete in fun competitions like races and dress-ups. I say "thought you might like to hang out at this fun event, etc."

She responds in bold letters that she finds me repulsive and no way in hell would she ever hang out with me! [Um, OK, that would be a no...]

Now, I'm a good-looking, fit, albeit aging guy, who she's seen interacting pleasantly with people of all stripes (and their dogs). So why she would choose to respond in an ugly, hostile manner does not compute (she's probably just about 5 years younger). I take it as her having big issues (self-esteem or past-abuse from men, or drug or psychological problems, or who knows?).

Anyone else have any horror story "dating" encounters?
Sorry she was so rude. THAT right there is why good men don't approach women, anymore. There is no reason for it, but it happens a lot.
I assume she is crazy.
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,844 posts, read 13,204,065 times
Reputation: 9247
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiderGirl View Post
Is it possible that somebody else got hold of her phone and responded? Like a kid or a friend with a warped sense of humor?

I was thinking the same thing. What if she has an SO and he got a hold of her email? Maybe she left her email account open and has a roommate who saw it and responded? I see no reason why she would be pleasant in person at the park or through previous emails then suddenly finds the OP "repulsive"
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Old 04-30-2012, 02:04 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,606,283 times
Reputation: 12334
I like the way the OP described it as a mine field. He sure came across one. lol
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:31 PM
 
178 posts, read 375,576 times
Reputation: 287
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
I decided to ask out this women I've chatted with and shared some laughs and dog appreciation at the dog park several times (having her email from a social group).

I ask her to a dog fundraiser event where you bring your dogs and compete in fun competitions like races and dress-ups. I say "thought you might like to hang out at this fun event, etc."

She responds in bold letters that she finds me repulsive and no way in hell would she ever hang out with me! [Um, OK, that would be a no...]

Now, I'm a good-looking, fit, albeit aging guy, who she's seen interacting pleasantly with people of all stripes (and their dogs). So why she would choose to respond in an ugly, hostile manner does not compute (she's probably just about 5 years younger). I take it as her having big issues (self-esteem or past-abuse from men, or drug or psychological problems, or who knows?).

Anyone else have any horror story "dating" encounters?
Yes, I have, and more than once. And it usually occurred when I didn't read the woman's lack of interest in me so she wanted me to know how she felt about me in no uncertain terms. Best thing to do is to laugh at her in response and say, "ohh, sorry I read you very very wrong. Thanks for the hint. haha", or some joke in response so her you have a sense of humor.

The fact is there could be many reasons for her reaction so I wouldn't take her blow up personal. However, what I would suggest is that you find ways to develop attraction with women (no just physical but conversation topics, etc) before you lean in and asking them out. Don't do it until you get a signal that they may be interested in getting to know you better.

Look at it this way, did you develop any personal rapport with her, talk about any personal experiences, laugh, or otherwise engage her in interesting and entertaining conversation? It's like warming her up to peak her interest before you invite her to do something with you. You probably didn't, otherwise she wouldn't have slammed you since I'm sure you would have received a different response if she knew or felt differently about you.

There is another thread talking about the difference between whether or not a man is a creep depends on how attractive he looks. It's the same logic, the difference in whether a woman is receptive to your approach depends on how she feels about you up to that point, and what you've done to earn her interest thus far.

But without a doubt there are women out there who are totally jaded about their current dating experience and dish out man hating reactions to those unwelcome men that approach them. Could be her fiance got cold feet and left her at the alter recently; could be she only gets hit on by older, blacks, "losers", or [fill in blank] dudes and is "sick and tired of it"; could be she doesn't want to waste any more time, "not one more second", with any guy she perceives as having no long-term potential since her biological clock is ticking; and could be she is a man hating lesbian. Whatever, count yourself lucky she did you a favor and let you know the kind of a beast she is before you got more involved with her.

Last edited by bignutz; 04-30-2012 at 04:20 PM..
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Texas
391 posts, read 686,949 times
Reputation: 499
It always amazes me how people lash out at others whose only intend
was to do something nice for both parties.

There is no need for that behavior where a simple and polite "no thank
you" would be sufficient.
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Geauga County, Ohio
1,503 posts, read 1,852,690 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back to NE View Post
I decided to ask out this women I've chatted with and shared some laughs and dog appreciation at the dog park several times (having her email from a social group).

I ask her to a dog fundraiser event where you bring your dogs and compete in fun competitions like races and dress-ups. I say "thought you might like to hang out at this fun event, etc."

She responds in bold letters that she finds me repulsive and no way in hell would she ever hang out with me! [Um, OK, that would be a no...]

Now, I'm a good-looking, fit, albeit aging guy, who she's seen interacting pleasantly with people of all stripes (and their dogs). So why she would choose to respond in an ugly, hostile manner does not compute (she's probably just about 5 years younger). I take it as her having big issues (self-esteem or past-abuse from men, or drug or psychological problems, or who knows?).

Anyone else have any horror story "dating" encounters?
Wow. I can't top that, but I've been out of the scene a while (I'm a woman BTW).

I'm all for being direct when turning down someone, but that's just MEAN. It isn't necessary to do that, she simply could say "I really am not attracted to you in that way, but thanks for asking" and leave it at that.

I'm suspicious though - maybe she has a boyfriend, or even a stalker, or someone else that got a hold of her email and sent that message.
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Old 04-30-2012, 04:02 PM
 
4,862 posts, read 7,945,756 times
Reputation: 5763
Let it go and just ignore her if you see her. Who knows how far she may take it if you even try to talk to her. If it were me I would just act like she wasn't on the planet..All it takes is a complaint to the police and it starts from there.
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