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When I was dating (been married now for seven years), men seemed to really appreciate when I offered to pay - whether they let me or not. Generally speaking, if they asked me out they generally insisted on paying on the first date - and knowing that most men would insist, I never wracked up a huge tab. Then the next date - if there was one - I would just about INSIST on picking up the entire tab - along with a little speech about how I really WANT to do so on occasion.
To this day, sometimes when the bill is presented, I will nab it and say to my husband, "This is on me!" (We have separate checking accounts.) He always lets me pay when I do that!
When I was dating (been married now for seven years), men seemed to really appreciate when I offered to pay - whether they let me or not. Generally speaking, if they asked me out they generally insisted on paying on the first date - and knowing that most men would insist, I never wracked up a huge tab. Then the next date - if there was one - I would just about INSIST on picking up the entire tab - along with a little speech about how I really WANT to do so on occasion.
Even when I put myself in situations when I know I'm going to be expected to pay, it endears me that much more to the girl when she at least offers. Even a slight glance at her purse is far better than sitting there confidently expecting me to pick up. Compassion, empathy, and warmth is sexy in a girl. Entitlement is not.
Even when I put myself in situations when I know I'm going to be expected to pay, it endears me that much more to the girl when she at least offers. Even a slight glance at her purse is far better than sitting there confidently expecting me to pick up. Compassion, empathy, and warmth is sexy in a girl. Entitlement is not.
I don't think I've ever NOT offered to pay the bill - whether on a date, out with my friends, out with my parents, etc. I think I'm just more comfortable doing nice things for others than having people do nice things for me. I'm more comfortable giving them than receiving them. This doesn't mean that I DON'T like people doing nice things for me or complimenting me - it just gets me a little flustered and embarrassed.
Even when I put myself in situations when I know I'm going to be expected to pay, it endears me that much more to the girl when she at least offers. Even a slight glance at her purse is far better than sitting there confidently expecting me to pick up. Compassion, empathy, and warmth is sexy in a girl. Entitlement is not.
I will always offer to pay on a first date, but if he accepts I take that as a sign that this is going nowhere fast.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
Here's the thing - people on here make it seem like paying for the date is what entire relationships hinge on. They make it seem like if a woman doesn't offer to pay for the date - she's automatically a gold digger or a spoiled brat. They make it seem like women often demand that men pay for the date - like they sit there with their arms folded, sitting back in their seat, looking at you like, "Well - pay up, Mister! I'm not touching the check!"
When you are on a date with someone - you are getting to know them. Do you feel comfortable with this person? Are you laughing with them? Is the conversation flowing well? Is there chemistry? These are the important things. Judging by the "pay for the date" obsession on CD - you'd think that the only thing that happened on a date was getting the check at the end. I've never had paying for dates be an issue. Ever. The guy has paid, I've paid, we've split it, etc. It's NEVER been an issue. I can't imagine hinging the entire success of a date on who paid or who offered.
Well me either, I do wonder if it's more of an issue in the States than here? Also among the older generation?
I'm just responding as to what I would do if in that situation.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,047,835 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
I don't think I've ever NOT offered to pay the bill - whether on a date, out with my friends, out with my parents, etc. I think I'm just more comfortable doing nice things for others than having people do nice things for me. I'm more comfortable giving them than receiving them. This doesn't mean that I DON'T like people doing nice things for me or complimenting me - it just gets me a little flustered and embarrassed.
I think it's more of the offering to pay which reflects you're a generous person (or maybe just want to appear that way lol) than someone who just sits back and expects to be covered. That should go for male or female. That's more what I'd have an issue with, a personality thing. Plus any woman who was so inflexible about 'the man always paying' is likely to be too conservative/traditional for me in general.
Of course if I suggested/asked out I would offer to pay.
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