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I told him I was going to have to go back and update the messageboard regarding the new status and he was like, "What?" and made me explain it to him. LOL.
That's great! My friend and her boyfriend didn't say I love you for 9 months. And now they've been together 3 years and are very happy now. 4 months isn't that much time to be in love. I think too many people throw the L word around nowadays. If in 4 more months he doesn't 100% feel the way you do, then maybe move on, but for now I'd just see what happens.
So he and I talked over the weekend and decided that we would be be an "official" couple now
Thanks to everyone for their advice. I know most threads like this don't usually turn out with a happy ending, I'm glad this one could (so far!).
What does that mean? He was just saying he's not falling in love with you, but you're now an "official couple." Makes no sense to me. Sounds like he's just too lazy to break up with you. Did he tell you he loves you? Is he in love with you?
What does that mean? He was just saying he's not falling in love with you, but you're now an "official couple." Makes no sense to me. Sounds like he's just too lazy to break up with you. Did he tell you he loves you? Is he in love with you?
Chill and give the man some time. Not everyone falls so fast. Like I said , very happy for you Violet
What does that mean? He was just saying he's not falling in love with you, but you're now an "official couple." Makes no sense to me. Sounds like he's just too lazy to break up with you. Did he tell you he loves you? Is he in love with you?
Love comes and goes!! Main trust and understanding! And all the rest including and love will come and will not leave.
You're having sex, but you don't consider it a "relationship"? What is it, then? FWB? I think if he's not "falling" by now, you can move on. This guy doesn't know if he's coming or going. There are better guys out there that you're missing out on by holding out for Mr. String-Her-Along/Just-Not-That-Into-Her.
As usual, I agree with you!! Why do women do this to themselves? If I heard a guy tell me he was not in love with me, I would move on right then and there.
And I dang sure would not be allowing him to have sex with me?
As usual, I agree with you!! Why do women do this to themselves? If I heard a guy tell me he was not in love with me, I would move on right then and there.
And I dang sure would not be allowing him to have sex with me?
But the question here is not sex , etc. It boils down to how long does it take in this situation for this man to fall in love. Not everyone has those feelings quickly. I think more time is ok. If she can handle the emotional investment that comes with sex (that is a big if , I agree) then giving him sex is besides the point.
But the question here is not sex , etc. It boils down to how long does it take in this situation for this man to fall in love. Not everyone has those feelings quickly. I think more time is ok. If she can handle the emotional investment that comes with sex (that is a big if , I agree) then giving him sex is besides the point.
Most women cannot separate our emotions from a sexual relationship. And of course some folks take awhile to "figure out" their feelings, but those are not likely to be men I would continue to see. And if they aren't sure of their feelings for me, there will be no sex until there are firm expressions of commitment. So it's not off topic or besides any point. It all rolls up together to form one big ideology.
Most women cannot separate our emotions from a sexual relationship. And of course some folks take awhile to "figure out" their feelings, but those are not likely to be men I would continue to see. And if they aren't sure of their feelings for me, there will be no sex until there are firm expressions of commitment. So it's not off topic or besides any point. It all rolls up together to form one big ideology.
I agree most women cannot seperate sex from emotions. I wish I had all the answers but I don't Clearly she doesn't want to give up on this guy. For you (and I , I simply cannot handle it) it would be best not to continue the sexual relationship. But I suspect she is , at least so far , able to handle it. If she's not , she should be honest and tell him they need to stop sex. Honesty is the best policy here. -if and when she feels a need to stop the sexual aspect of the relationship.
I know there's been a lot of talk about him "using" me for sex, but honestly, I am REALLY REALLY enjoying the sexual side of our relationship and have been from the very beginning. So, I am not really sure how he is using me when I feel I'm benefitting from it so much. I *do* appreciate the "warnings" that he might be using me. I know the warnings come from a place of not wanting to see other be hurt by someone's cruelty, but if he's giving me absolutely everything I want emotionally (and he is for the most part), if he's doing ALL that just to get some sex from me, I think I'm ok with it. lol.
For right now, I'm ok with him not being in love with me, I'm not in love with him, either. All I really wanted was a committment from him that we could be and act as a couple, mostly bc I don't like being in limbo in any area of my life, but also bc I know those feelings were there on both sides and I wanted acknowledgement of them. Now that I have the committment, I'm really ok with taking things slowly and just letting them unfold naturally. If we don't end up married, that's ok. I'm enjoying where he and I are at right now and if he's not "the one", I'm sure someone else will be at some point
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