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The Mayor is correct on that, but it sounds like you are more than willing to mix it up. You just wanna git ya some....
Have to say that this pattern isn't likely to change all that much. Once it gets to the point where you're used to not having it for months on end it becomes common place....
If it's that important to you I'd say have a real heart to heart and explain that this will not work as it stands.
my mentor is a marraige counselor. he says that real love is not just a feeling, but a decision. try everything you can~ pray about it. Once you've done all you can, you'll have a big decision to make. knowing you've done all you can, you won't have to go through the woulda, shoulda, coulda's after the fact.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,529,956 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by morgan8
I started dating this guy 7 years ago, it was just a thing in his eyes so it lasted a few months but we became real close, like best friend but I never told him how I felt at that time, we continued to talk and stay close all these years, I started dating him again about 1 1/2 years ago, he asked me to marry him and I said yes but now we are on this down word spiral. He keeps going from job to job saying that its not rite, I am paying all the bills and there is no passion any more, we have not been together in over a month if you know what I mean and he says he is stressed out because of work, that was ok at first but now it is getting old, I have started asking myself if it is me but that can't be it because I have guys asking me out every day so what is the problem, could it really be he is stressed out or has he fallen out of love with me? this is not the 1st time this has happened with him and I am not use to this, am I going to spend the rest of my life like this if I marry him, I have needs and they are not being met, what do I do? He makes me feel selfish but I can only beg so much. What would you do?
Your post is a good example of the difference between my generation and my mother's generation. My mother's era, men took charge, cared for their loved one's and certainly didn't stress over the little stuff. It would have been a threat to their manhood to be supported by a woman. How times have changed. Or are women enabling men in the name of "love." If you two are already in the seventh inning stretch after a long 1-1/2 engagement...wow...I don't care how much you love him, he's the one being selfish, not you.
If you were already married and had children I would say fight like hell to get the passion back, but since your not married yet and there are no children involved, I would say to move on!! To me - no passion - is a horrible way to live!!
Don't beg!
Did he ask you to marry him when he was out of a job? You are paying all the bills, and what I am reading, he is using you.
If you are living together, move out or kick him out. He needs to realize that the marriage he wants is a committment and he needs to give his part. Until he does that he is not ready for this relationship.
Good luck in what ever you do.
Sadly, I agree. If it's like this now it will only get worse if you get married. You are doing more than your part and he is taking advantage of you. I know it's hard, but you have to do what's best for yourself or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Maybe you need to start doing some nastier stuff in the bedroom. If its the same thing every time then a guy will get bored. It happened to me.
And maybe he should do some radical stuff like go to work every day too!
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