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I know I wrote guys and if I didn't hear back from them, I assumed they weren't interested. I never felt slighted because they didn't respond back to my message.
I just found that a lot of guys took any response as an opportunity to keep the lines of communication open.
When you're a guy and you get zero emails a day, week, month.....5 emails can seem like a "jillion". It's all relative. That's 5 more opportunities to communicate than a man does. Men have to create their own opportunity, women just have to sit back and take their pick.
This is really untrue...I'd be curious to have seen your profile that no woman ever initiated contact with you or replied to you. Because there has to be something there that turned women off. I got quite a few e-mails and winks when I first joined...but after a few weeks that really died off. I have no idea how this myth got started that any semi attractive woman receives 100's of messages. The guy I've been dating is one I e-mailed first! I did not sit back and take my pick from hundreds of e-mails.
This is really untrue...I'd be curious to have seen your profile that no woman ever initiated contact with you or replied to you. Because there has to be something there that turned women off. I got quite a few e-mails and winks when I first joined...but after a few weeks that really died off. I have no idea how this myth got started that any semi attractive woman receives 100's of messages. The guy I've been dating is one I e-mailed first! I did not sit back and take my pick from hundreds of e-mails.
Glad I'm not the only one!! But looks like online dating has worked for you
This is really untrue...I'd be curious to have seen your profile that no woman ever initiated contact with you or replied to you. Because there has to be something there that turned women off. I got quite a few e-mails and winks when I first joined...but after a few weeks that really died off. I have no idea how this myth got started that any semi attractive woman receives 100's of messages. The guy I've been dating is one I e-mailed first! I did not sit back and take my pick from hundreds of e-mails.
I'm only 5'8" so I am eliminated from many profile searches to begin with. Secondly, I live in a city with a population of 3.5 million people, and a major metro area of 11.5 million people.
I did get emails from women.....they just weighed about 3 times as much as me.
Although just ignoring a message can be "rude", it is the clearest way to just show disinterest. If the message sender thinks you are rude, well really, who cares? But, I haven't sent a "show interest" message yet. If it's ignored, I'm sure I'll change my mind. "blah blah person wants to meet you!" is a different story entirely. I've been on POF for less than 24 hours.
Depends on the content & shape of the incoming msg.
If it's in crude/crass text-speak with seemingly careless spelling/grammar & few words-I'm more likely to ignore.
If it appears the person made an effort & is polite-then I'll write back, thank them, decline delicately, and wish them well.
Does feel sort of "darned-if-you-do, darned-if-you-don't", whether or not one replies.
Both ways to respond (or not respond) seem "wrong" in one way or another,
as if there's no "right" way to handle being the person to reject another's offer/interest.
I can't stand rude people, so I choose not to be rude myself. I think ignoring a message is rude.
I have responded to just about 100% of all the message I have ever received from guys I wasn't interested in that was polite and thanked them for the message. Vast majority of them thanked me for being honest and wished me the best of luck. Only one, that I can recall, got blatantly out of line after that, and he was blocked.
I don't see what the problem is with being polite.
However - if I send a message to a guy and I know that he saw it (as in, he was then checking out my profile), ignored the message for many days, even a week or two .. and then responded - I give the thanks but no thanks response in return. Either you're interested or you're not, but I'm not going to wait around for several days to weeks to be play 'b' because plan 'a' didn't respond to you.
I can't stand rude people, so I choose not to be rude myself. I think ignoring a message is rude.
I have responded to just about 100% of all the message I have ever received from guys I wasn't interested in that was polite and thanked them for the message. Vast majority of them thanked me for being honest and wished me the best of luck. Only one, that I can recall, got blatantly out of line after that, and he was blocked.
I don't see what the problem is with being polite.
However - if I send a message to a guy and I know that he saw it (as in, he was then checking out my profile), ignored the message for many days, even a week or two .. and then responded - I give the thanks but no thanks response in return. Either you're interested or you're not, but I'm not going to wait around for several days to weeks to be play 'b' because plan 'a' didn't respond to you.
How is ignoring a message rude? if there is no attraction then it's no point in responding
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