Childless single folks: Would you date a single Mom/single Dad? (girl, family)

[aptnyc]

I wouldn't. I'm still somewhat young, so things can potentially change in the future (although I highly doubt that), but for now I've made the decision not to have children. Dating someone with kids would essentially mean having kids if you are talking about looking for a long-term relationship. I don't even want my own, so the idea of being a step-mom really does not appeal to me.

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

I'm actually surprised how many more women than men, proportionately, are voting "NO."

Why?

It has always seemed that some women, particularly those who never had kids or can't, find some kind of "Mom" status from the arrangement. I would always think that men would be less interested in being some kind of "Dad" figure in a blended household.

If I were single - I would probably prefer to date someone with out children. Then again - this would also depend on so many other things. At my age now or younger - I would not want to date someone with children. I would want to start my own family. I would also be very wary if there was drama involved with the custody situation. If I were 10 or 20 years older than I am now and was single - I would probably be more open to it. The children would be older. If it was a widower situation with young children and I was younger - that might be different. I never dated anyone with children so it's hard for me to imagine.

The reality is that those kids will never see you or treat you as a blood relative, but more of a far-flung "in law" type... or of second cousin once removed status.

That's not necessarily true. My husband's grandmother divorced her husband when my husband's mother was very young. She remarried and had another daughter. My mother-in-law always considered her step-father to be her father and my husband always considered him to be his grandfather. I have other friends that also feel closer to their step parent than to their biological parent. It just depends on the situation.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Dewdrop93

That's not necessarily true. My husband's grandmother divorced her husband when my husband's mother was very young. She remarried and had another daughter. My mother-in-law always considered her step-father to be her father and my husband always considered him to be his grandfather. I have other friends that also feel closer to their step parent than to their biological parent. It just depends on the situation.

That's not what I hear. What I hear is a very cavalier sounding:
"Oh, yeah, my Dad's (Mom's) girlfriend (boyfriend)" or
"Oh, yeah, my Dad's (Mom's) new wife (new husband)"

Very clinical and not emotive, to say the least.

[yellowsnow]

I would prefer not to. I didn't have any kids and I don't want to be responsible for yours. But if it's just a date...

[Dewdroplet76]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

That's not what I hear. What I hear is a very cavalier sounding:
"Oh, yeah, my Dad's (Mom's) girlfriend (boyfriend)" or
"Oh, yeah, my Dad's (Mom's) new wife (new husband)"

Very clinical and not emotive, to say the least.

I think a lot of that depends on how old you are when your parent remarries and what the circumstances are. One of my friends certainly doesn't consider her step father her father - her mom remarried when my friend was in her 30's. But if you grow up with someone from a very early age and your biological parent is pretty much out of the picture - it's possible to view your step parent as your parent. Also - are your friends really that emotive in general?

[The Dissenter]

In my 20s and dating a girl with a kid under 3 with a mediocre or absent father in unstable situation? H*($ naw.

In my 30s/40s and a girl with a 10+ year old with a stable situation with the father? Probably would.

Interestingly enough my biggest crush in the last 5 years is a girl who has a kid. I may have seriously pursued her if I didnt move to KY. Now she is engaged, I like her a lot but I'm not ready to play daddy or stepdaddy yet. I probably did all parties involved a favor.

[las vegas drunk]

I do not date, but I am childless and single. If I did choose to date, I would have no problem with dating a single mother. I like kids, as long as they are not my own and have to support them.

[jobaba]

Most of the people on here are probably saying no way because a woman with cildren represents 'damaged goods' or in society's eyes, a decrease in status for that person.

It's like a woman saying she wouldn't date a man without a college degree.

As somebody who has done it, I'll say...

Depends on the number of kids and the age. More than one is going to be tricky. More than 2 is going to be a mess. If you are dating a woman who maybe had one daughter who is aged 12 and is 33 years old or so, I don't see a huge problem with that.

Different children have different problems but in general, teenaged children who are stable are much easier to manage. Any younger and you are not sure what kind of mental or emotional problems that child will develop. But one stable teenaged daughter and a babysitter ... mommy will have plenty of time to play.

Obviously, it also depends on the situation you are in as well. I'm in my mid 30s, so dating a mom isn't such a big deal as it would have been when I was 25. As somebody who doesn't want children but thinks they could be a great mentor and help a child, it's almost a situation I'm looking for. ... not to mention being able to help mommy financially if she ends up being a fantastic woman.

I'm also going to get a cute, cool, sweet gal at a discount because all the other guys won't touch her with a 10 foot pole.

Again ... from my experience.

[jodipper]

When your young its hard to do. You always have to make arrangements for the kid(s). Mom has to be home at a certain time.

Now it doesn't matter. Those kids have kids of their own now.

[LexWest]

I voted other, because it depends on the stage you are in life. Being in my 20s, I'm not against having children, and I'm around many regularly that I love; but right now I'm cherishing my child free years and would rather date someone without children. However, if I were older, or met a guy I otherwise liked and had other things in common with, I might give him a chance.