Childless single folks: Would you date a single Mom/single Dad? (marrying, girls)

[Ragazza2011]

@Roberypolygot

Good thing you RAN. That was presumptuous on his part. Where was the girl's mother? Was he even married to her?

Haha! Thanks! I have zero tolerance for moochery or drama. He was never married to her. The mother was a cracked-out-meth-head who abandoned the little girl with my former acquaintance to raise. It's a very sad story, but it's also not my fault nor my problem. He made the mistake of telling me how he used his last girlfriend to take care of the little girl. When she (his girlfriend) came to her senses and dumped him, he tried to re-create the same scenario with me! People with kids from previous relationships = DRAMA!

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by Skydive Outlaw

No.

I have a vasectomy for a reason.

Fantastic. Not to derail, but I often wondered if someone got married in the Catholic church and didn't tell his future wife that he had had a vasectomy because he wanted to be married to her but didn't want kids, and then it all came out in the laundry, what the fallout would be? It would definitely get you an annulment, on top of a divorce, but I wonder if there would be other "fallout?"

Always wondered about that. I'm sure it has happened.

[sunkisses87]

It's very interesting seeing the responses on here. I know many women that are single moms(comes with the territory now since I have a child of my own and connect with other moms as well) and I'd say 80% of these moms have no issue getting dates, 50% have gotten married or engaged to men that were not the biological father, and 20% are in long term relationships, and the other 10% are dating but don't seem concerned about not meeting the right man. The way this thread is, you would think that these women would have real difficulty dating but they aren't. The ones that aren't dating are either newly single, aren't looking to date, or don't have time.

These women are between the ages of 25-35, and some of these women had children out of wedlock, the rest are divorced moms--no one is a widow. I should add however, that only ONE of these women has more than one child out of wedlock but she is in a long term relationship so it didn't detour her.

I actually, now that I think of it, remember when I was in college and there were a few girls that got knocked up--all three of them still dated throughout college as well and didn't seem to have much issue. I don't doubt that most men see single women with children as "baggage" but the reality is that if they are attractive and are financially independent it seems as though they aren't wanting for dates.

When I was single and childless I wouldn't have dated a man with a child. I'm now engaged with a child, so that changes the picture--if my so and I ever divorced then I would probably go for dads with children more so then I would men without--it would just make things easier.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by sunkisses87

It's very interesting seeing the responses on here. I know many women that are single moms(comes with the territory now since I have a child of my own and connect with other moms as well) and I'd say 80% of these moms have no issue getting dates, 50% have gotten married or engaged to men that were not the biological father, and 20% are in long term relationships, and the other 10% are dating but don't seem concerned about not meeting the right man. The way this thread is, you would think that these women would have real difficulty dating but they aren't. The ones that aren't dating are either newly single, aren't looking to date, or don't have time.

These women are between the ages of 25-35, and some of these women had children out of wedlock, the rest are divorced moms--no one is a widow. I should add however, that only ONE of these women has more than one child out of wedlock but she is in a long term relationship so it didn't detour her.

I actually, now that I think of it, remember when I was in college and there were a few girls that got knocked up--all three of them still dated throughout college as well and didn't seem to have much issue. I don't doubt that most men see single women with children as "baggage" but the reality is that if they are attractive and are financially independent it seems as though they aren't wanting for dates.

When I was single and childless I wouldn't have dated a man with a child. I'm now engaged with a child, so that changes the picture--if my so and I ever divorced then I would probably go for dads with children more so then I would men without--it would just make things easier.

Ok, but of the numbers (%) posted above, how many are with men who have never had children? If they're dating other divorced or unmarried people with kids, then I can see it. That has to be a large percentage of it.

[sunkisses87]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

Ok, but of the numbers (%) posted above, how many are with men who have never had children? If they're dating other divorced or unmarried people with kids, then I can see it. That has to be a large percentage of it.

Well off the bat, two of the women that had children out of wedlock(i.e. never been married and not widowed) married men that had never had children. And these were women under age 30, with children under age 5. As for the rest, I believe that one is engaged to a man who has a child(whom is over 18 and out of the home) and she has a 3 year old! The rest are with men who have children as well.

However I can think of many women outside of the ones I just described that had no issue dating childless men. Matter of fact one of my father's employee's(who was featured in a magazine as an eligible bachelor) married a woman that had a 7 year old daughter. And he is a CEO, VERY attractive, and had no children nor had he been married previously. Now, granted, this women was extremely attractive, so that may have had something to do with it, but still this is not "rare" in my experience. I've seen single mom's marry or date men without children and with. Matter of fact me and a friend were just talking about it--because she is single and ready to settle down and is amazed at how many of the females we went to college with or highschool with who were single with children who are now with men who very much childless--she seems to be having a more difficult time than they are!!!

Are you familiar with Teen MOM(MTV show) many of these females also seem to date around--even though many of the relationships don't last--they don't have problems getting dates from childless young men. I constantly see headlines about these mom's having new boyfriends, one is married to a childless young man, at 20(and she has twins) another is engaged to a military man.

And it baffles me, especially considering that many of these females are under 30. From the outside looking in, it seems like they are able to find men pretty easily, but then again I don't know what the dynamics are within these relationships.

I do notice that online there is a horrible stigma about single mom, but in reality I always see single mom's with men. I've always found it fascinating.

Maybe it depends on the region? I am talking about the midwest and south...

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by sunkisses87

Maybe it depends on the region? I am talking about the midwest and south...

I think so. In the urban and expensive West Coast cities and in the Northeast population corridor, you won't see that nearly as much, from what I've seen.

[sunkisses87]

Originally Posted by robertpolyglot

I think so. In the urban and expensive West Coast cities and in the Northeast population corridor, you won't see that nearly as much, from what I've seen.

Then it probably is regional. Because from my experiences and observations it certainly doesn't seem that hard for a single mom to get remarried, date, etc.

[LexWest]

Same here. I know quite a few women, some with multiple kids from different men, never married or divorced. While there may be a few who are happily single, most of these women have no problem finding other men. I think we should remember there's a reason these women attracted men in the first place. I'm convinced if a women is attractive enough, a man will still date, and even marry her--even with kids. In fact, most of these women often end up with men, that most people would think they don't "deserve": childless, and that willingly accept her children as if they're his own, whether or not dad is in the picture. Men and women may make mistakes in choosing partners, but it doesn't make them less of a person or mean they cannot still end up with great people.

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by LexWest

Same here. I know quite a few women, some with multiple kids from different men, never married or divorced. While there may be a few who are happily single, most of these women have no problem finding other men. I think we should remember there's a reason these women attracted men in the first place. I'm convinced if a women is attractive enough, a man will still date, and even marry her--even with kids. In fact, most of these women often end up with men, that most people would think they don't "deserve": childless, and that willingly accept her children as if they're his own, whether or not dad is in the picture. Men and women may make mistakes in choosing partners, but it doesn't make them less of a person or mean they cannot still end up with great people.

so if a woman can attract any old scum of the earth -- she's desirable and attractive in general? because that's what it sounds like you're saying.

[robertpolyglot]

Originally Posted by LexWest

Same here. I know quite a few women, some with multiple kids from different men, never married or divorced. While there may be a few who are happily single, most of these women have no problem finding other men. I think we should remember there's a reason these women attracted men in the first place. I'm convinced if a women is attractive enough, a man will still date, and even marry her--even with kids. In fact, most of these women often end up with men, that most people would think they don't "deserve": childless, and that willingly accept her children as if they're his own, whether or not dad is in the picture. Men and women may make mistakes in choosing partners, but it doesn't make them less of a person or mean they cannot still end up with great people.

Those are "sycophants" and Mama's boys types. I worked with a guy like that. He married a woman with her own consulting business and her previous marriage fell apart because she had married someone who wore at least one of the pant legs. That was it. Period. She had a strong personality, and so did husband #1.

The guy I knew and that she married was a total doormat. In fact, he went to lunch with some guys from another consultant/client and he came back complaining "you should have seen how they were talking about women." Mind you, these guys talking like that were married men. I don't think "locker room" talk was within the capabilities of my co-worker. Well, now it works. Consultant wife goes up to run her company and this co-worker is now a SAH Dad, raising both his new daughter with her and her daughter, with a learning disorder, from the failed marriage.