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Old 06-01-2012, 02:27 AM
 
2,409 posts, read 3,040,921 times
Reputation: 2033

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Quote:
Originally Posted by workaholic6303 View Post
I've had numerous people tell me that I don't seem very approachable. My best bud says I look "too masculine" and women are intimidated by me. I've had women tell me that I don't seem too approachable even though I try and smile. I'm not the biggest guy in the world, 5'11, 205 about 9% bodyfat, but not the smallest. My sister says that the veins in my biceps are a big turnoff too?

What can I do to seem more approachable to women? I try and smile, be friendly and wear "softer" color clothes... are women intimidated by decent looking/fit muscular guys?

Who cares what women think? Be yourself. If they don't want to approach you f'k em. Quit worrying about what women think. Geezus, what's with men nowadays? You're not as masculine as you think you are if you go around worrying about what women think. 5'11 205 aint that big fella! Trying being 6'5 and 285

 
Old 06-01-2012, 03:57 AM
 
157 posts, read 484,273 times
Reputation: 61
i know im late on this thread, but thats a shame man. 5'11 205 is a good size for sports, or the sports in into. i wish i was around that size. its not even that big tbh
 
Old 06-01-2012, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Crossville, TN
1,327 posts, read 3,677,903 times
Reputation: 1017
Quote:
Originally Posted by workaholic6303 View Post
Wow, a lot of assumptions were made in this thread, fast.

A) For starters, I never mentioned how many days a week I work out, not sure where 6 came from.

B) Any person with slight knowledge in fitness knows that for males to show abs you need to be sub 10% BF, it's not something I obsess over nor something I have actually measured, my guess is that I'm around 9% due to an definition and vascularity in my arms.

C) I never dress like a meathead (affliction t-shirt, wifebeater, etc.) the 2nd pic I showed was us goofing around, and no, with the quality of the photos you can't see the veins in my arms.

D) I'm not into bodybuilding. I do crossfit and powerlift. I think everyone was expecting a juiced out bodybuilder. I'm by no means huge, but put me next to your average guy I probably do look much more muscular. And I never bragged in these posts about it nor do I ever do it in public, I'm actually very modest.

E) The reason why I posted this to begin with was because my buddy that told me women can be intimidated by more muscular men used to be a dating coach. I've had women tell me that I'm not very approachable (maybe I look like I'm mad?). And my sister told me that vascular arms, etc. are a turnoff for her and the girls she knows (she's 21).

At times I can be intimidated by stunningly gorgeous women, was wondering if it was the same the other way around.

So please stop jumping to conclusions, I'm not a tool. thanks.


I don't think women are intimidated by muscular men. You have a nice body and there is nothing wrong with working out and keeping fit if that is what makes YOU feel good.

As for dressing a certain way because you think the ladies will like it is nice, but silly. You should wear what you want to wear and what akes you feel comfortable.

You maybe trying too hard to impress the ladies without even knowing it. Relax have fun and the right girl will come around. I was single for periods of time and the last time I felt like I would never find Mr. Right, but after I stopped worrying about it too much he walked into my life.

The body builder guy in the second pic isn't so much intimidating as it is a turn off to most women, not all women, but most women. But, most woman don't want a fat slob either.
 
Old 06-01-2012, 01:17 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,109 posts, read 32,460,014 times
Reputation: 68330
Not this woman but when men over do it with body building, It does say something about the way they want to be perceived. And I don't like what it says.

I'm not attracted to it. I like fit men and some men have a more muscular build. But I do not like men who purposely bulk up.

More attractive to brains than brawn, I guess.
 
Old 06-01-2012, 03:49 PM
 
3,516 posts, read 6,781,587 times
Reputation: 5667
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
The difference is, women seem to take it to the extreme with their idea of thin. Seriously, you have some women who seem to think men want them to be 5'9 110lbs and be a size -2. I'm still trying to figure out where they got that idea.
A 5'9 110lb woman can be very attractive, TYVM. And perhaps some women don't try to be anything physically but what they naturally are, regardless of what men might think of them.

And as to the OP, intimidating isn't the right word, turn-off is. I don't like guys who look like they spend hours in the gym every day. Some women do, of course, but you can't expect a woman to approach you. In this culture, you have to go after her.

edit: Ah, just saw the picture. You're not overly muscular so that part doesn't apply, but I'm still saying you're going to have to approach the ladies and not sit back and wait for them to come to you.

Last edited by UnexpectedError; 06-01-2012 at 03:58 PM..
 
Old 06-01-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: East coast-New England
1,639 posts, read 2,201,919 times
Reputation: 3538
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaoTzuMindFu View Post
No. Most women find fit guys very attractive. The problem usually occurs in women's mind. They create some imaginary science fiction scenario in their little heads and think "Oh, if he looks like that, he must be like ................" Which is stupid. Make no mistake about it, women LOVE guys with good bodies, they may not love bodybuilders, but the DO love muscular men (big difference between the two). If they can just fix the mental problem they create in their mind about what they (mistakenly) think muscular guys are like, then all would be right in the world.


I like big men. Love them. Usually the 'big' im talking about are guys who are just big naturally..and they may lift a bit just to keep it toned up. I love big arms around me, and laying my head against a big chest. I like the lean, muscular look too. But yeah..I like big men.

Now, I have never dated a big 'muscle head' type guy. The kind who look like they live in the gym. But I would. I will not say that a guy is going to be an arse simply because he lifts. That's wrong to just lump them all together and assume every single bodybuilder is going to be a a$$. Sheesh. I figure that will simply depend on the man. So if one of those types wanted to date me, i would give him a chance just like I would any other guy as long as I was attracted to him. And i like weight lifting myself though I am in no way a body builder. So perhaps he could help me work out.
 
Old 06-02-2012, 11:34 PM
 
4,338 posts, read 7,506,675 times
Reputation: 1656
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
My personal version of obsessed would be going to the gym six days a week, knowing exactly what his body fat percentage is, being on a super strict diet, etc. Like other people have said upthread, I like when a guy is more laid back about fitness, not on a specific training regimen. For me, that's lacking in joie de vivre.
Some of us do care about how we look and overall wellness of our health considering how many obese people we have not in the country.

There are guys who are models so they do it for a living.
 
Old 06-04-2012, 08:44 AM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,276,724 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerFall View Post

I will not say that a guy is going to be an arse simply because he lifts. That's wrong to just lump them all together and assume every single bodybuilder is going to be a a$$. Sheesh. I figure that will simply depend on the man. So if one of those types wanted to date me, i would give him a chance just like I would any other guy as long as I was attracted to him. And i like weight lifting myself though I am in no way a body builder. So perhaps he could help me work out.
Exactly. And most people don't realize that most bodybuilders don't spend all day in the gym unless that is their job. And if it is their job, chances are they won't be attracted to women with "average" bodies.

Most of how muscular men look is about diet, anyway. I don't get where all this "hours in the gym" stuff is coming from. When people say this, it tells me that they don't know too many people who lift.
 
Old 07-08-2012, 11:28 PM
 
1 posts, read 6,467 times
Reputation: 10
Dear workaholic6303,

I would approach you, it's nice to know you smile and are conscious of your body and what you wear... commendable yet if your favorite color is red, rock it! I understand how you feel as a smaller woman 5'1" 134lbs muscular. I have heard that I am intimidating even to bigger men. Usually when I approach a man they only notice and compliment my face and body then ask me if I want to go home with them -_- It makes me feel like poo because and I have my own home and clean soft bed that I wanna go to at 3am. This is why most women prefer the man to strike up a conversation. Pick up lines can be cute but are desensitizing especially to women who hear them daily. I'd rather speak to a man who asks how my evening is going or what sport I play as opposed to a little boy who looks at me and counts how many holes I have.

Don't worry about your bud or sisters honest opinions. You don't wanna date your them anyway lol. Each person carries their own preferences and those who stereotype are not worth your precious time or breath

As for your outward appearance veins, beards, longish hair and other masculine features are sexy in my opinion. It is extremely attractive and healthy looking. The truth is that despite appearance [immensely deceiving] many women would rather you approach them to at least break the ice. If you smile at a woman and she smiles back, that's enough to assume she likes you enough to have a conversation. If she approaches and compliments you, even better. If you ask politely for her contact information and she provides it, she is willing to spend time with you which is the most valuable things a real woman can offer. YA, HER TIME. Make a small effort to find a time when you are both free to see each other later and schedule to hang out before she goes. This last part is important because guys have called when I'm busy and assume I'm blowing them off when really I'd like to go for a hike or see a movie when work slows down next week

Good luck to you.
 
Old 07-08-2012, 11:37 PM
 
1,171 posts, read 1,949,034 times
Reputation: 621
Quote:
Originally Posted by workaholic6303 View Post
I've had numerous people tell me that I don't seem very approachable. My best bud says I look "too masculine" and women are intimidated by me. I've had women tell me that I don't seem too approachable even though I try and smile. I'm not the biggest guy in the world, 5'11, 205 about 9% bodyfat, but not the smallest. My sister says that the veins in my biceps are a big turnoff too?

What can I do to seem more approachable to women? I try and smile, be friendly and wear "softer" color clothes... are women intimidated by decent looking/fit muscular guys?
It's not the size of the guy that scares them. It's how you wear *it*. The whole package. Some men just give off the "don't fork with me" vibe. You just know it. You can tell it in their eyes and their body language. How they carry themselves, how they dress... Do they hold eye contact when they are talking to you? Do you seem timid or shaky? If you are most of what I describe...anyone can/will and does get intimidated. Women are not excluded.
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