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05-23-2012, 07:19 PM
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38 posts, read 83,512 times
Reputation: 27
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I just created an online dating profile on a popular (paid) website. I didn't mind paying for the service, because I'm hoping that the quality of people on the site will be better than on the free sites.
So far, I haven't received any emails, but I have received a series of winks. I am shocked that I'm taking this so serious, but I find myself sifting through all of the information on my potential matches profiles.
I am wondering if I should list my income? I make 90K/year. This is not an astronomical amount of money for a person in their early 30's, but it may be problematic for some guys. I guess I don't want to come across as a professional woman who is deeply committed to her career. Truth be told, I like my career, but it's not the most important thing. Also, I decided not to list an income range for my potential match. Of course I want him to make around the same amount or more than I do, but I don't want to be too aggressive, by making it seem like this is a major deal-breaker.
Another possible point of contention is smoking and drinking. I do not drink or smoke and I mentioned that I'd prefer the same with my match. I am now however thinking that perhaps I should revise my statement to say that social drinking is ok, since many professional men tend to enjoy going to sports bar.
Am I overthinking this?
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05-23-2012, 07:22 PM
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Location: New Jersey
8,711 posts, read 11,362,907 times
Reputation: 7595
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CitytoCity2021
I just created an online dating profile on a popular (paid) website. I didn't mind paying for the service, because I'm hoping that the quality of people on the site will be better than on the free sites.
So far, I haven't received any emails, but I have received a series of winks. I am shocked that I'm taking this so serious, but I find myself sifting through all of the information on my potential matches profiles.
I am wondering if I should list my income? I make 90K/year. This is not an astronomical amount of money for a person in their early 30's, but it may be problematic for some guys. I guess I don't want to come across as a professional woman who is deeply committed to her career. Truth be told, I like my career, but it's not the most important thing. Also, I decided not to list an income range for my potential match. Of course I want him to make around the same amount or more than I do, but I don't want to be too aggressive, by making it seem like this is a major deal-breaker.
Another possible point of contention is smoking and drinking. I do not drink or smoke and I mentioned that I'd prefer the same with my match. I am now however thinking that perhaps I should revise my statement to say that social drinking is ok, since many professional men tend to enjoy going to sports bar.
Am I overthinking this?
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OH, God, I smell another gold diggers thread, brewing.  
edit: when you said "problematic for some guys" I thought you meant guys like yourself with similar income, etc. nvm.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 05-23-2012 at 07:38 PM..
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05-23-2012, 07:29 PM
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44 posts, read 45,154 times
Reputation: 43
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I am also on dating site but I prefer the free ones. Those guys I met there who had experienced paid sites says there is NO difference at all.
It really is just a matter of weeding out the creepers. And I happen to know how. Needless to say, I am happy that my dating life is pretty busy. Made me regret actually why I only did it recently.
As to what to put in your profile. Just be true to yourself. I mean why settle? My profile actually too brutally frank and some guys like it, some guys don't and that's EXACTLY how I want it. Easier to weed out those who will just waste your time.
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05-23-2012, 07:37 PM
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38 posts, read 83,512 times
Reputation: 27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imapro
I am also on dating site but I prefer the free ones. Those guys I met there who had experienced paid sites says there is NO difference at all.
It really is just a matter of weeding out the creepers. And I happen to know how. Needless to say, I am happy that my dating life is pretty busy. Made me regret actually why I only did it recently.
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I prefer the paid sites, but you're right, it's all about being able to weed out the creepers. I checked my email again and I have a few messages, but I am not really into any of the guys. I find it interesting that I've received an equal number of emails from both, black and white men.
I'm a black woman and very much open to finding a guy who meshes well with me. Color is unimportant, but after a while it can become a bit time consuming to block people based on a lack of shared interest and/or physical attraction. |
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05-23-2012, 07:41 PM
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Location: State of Transition
99,282 posts, read 98,799,316 times
Reputation: 111055
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CitytoCity2021
I just created an online dating profile on a popular (paid) website. I didn't mind paying for the service, because I'm hoping that the quality of people on the site will be better than on the free sites.
So far, I haven't received any emails, but I have received a series of winks. I am shocked that I'm taking this so serious, but I find myself sifting through all of the information on my potential matches profiles.
I am wondering if I should list my income? I make 90K/year. This is not an astronomical amount of money for a person in their early 30's, but it may be problematic for some guys. I guess I don't want to come across as a professional woman who is deeply committed to her career. Truth be told, I like my career, but it's not the most important thing. Also, I decided not to list an income range for my potential match. Of course I want him to make around the same amount or more than I do, but I don't want to be too aggressive, by making it seem like this is a major deal-breaker.
Another possible point of contention is smoking and drinking. I do not drink or smoke and I mentioned that I'd prefer the same with my match. I am now however thinking that perhaps I should revise my statement to say that social drinking is ok, since many professional men tend to enjoy going to sports bar.
Am I overthinking this?
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These are good questions. Online dating questionnaires lend themselves to overthinking. I would leave out your income. Many men do on dating sites, so it's fair for you to do. I would leave in that you don't smoke or drink. That'll increase your chances of finding a like-minded person. I put that I don't smoke or drink, and I don't give it a second thought. If that turns some guys off, so much the better. It's part of the weeding-out process. Otherwise you could end up wasting your time dealing with guys who aren't right for you. |
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05-23-2012, 07:43 PM
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734 posts, read 1,626,950 times
Reputation: 881
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For online profile, the most important thing is your picture. Is it eye catching enough? Can people see your face clearly? The next important matter is your personal statement. You don't have to mention that you make 90k a year, but do mention in your statement that you are career driven and financially independent (and mention your job title if it's impressive). Make sure you attract the right kind of people by sound intelligent and witty in your statement.
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05-23-2012, 07:46 PM
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44 posts, read 45,154 times
Reputation: 43
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You are limiting yourself right away without even shall I say, testing the waters. Matter of fact, ALL those guys I agreed to meet did not appeal to me at all. LOL. But, at my age, I also overcome the vanity phase. What matters to me more is the personality.
And as long as I know he is a true blue good, decent guy. I have been going out with this guy I met on the dating site for 7 weeks now. He is not shall I say my type, but so far he has not displayed a creep factor and I can see he is a good guy, so far.
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05-23-2012, 07:58 PM
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Location: NYC
7,366 posts, read 14,265,841 times
Reputation: 10369
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Definitely leave your income off, as there is no positive to listing it. Let it be known that you are self-sufficient, and leave it at that.
I also agree you should leave out that drinking part, and that you are better off accepting social drinking. Saying that you want a non drinker will be a turn off a great many guys.
These are probably reasons why you aren't getting many messages. Being in your early 30s, it is time to loosen up your standards a bit. Resist the urge to fight me on that because I know what is around the corner if you do.
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05-23-2012, 09:29 PM
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38 posts, read 87,104 times
Reputation: 26
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imo i dont think anything that is listed on the profile of dating websites is very useful. only certain preferences such as smoker/nonsmoker, and sexual preferences.
imo u can't really know if you will have a connection with someone until you meet, it doesn't matter what is written on their profile. probably the most important is if you are sexually compatible and physically attracted to one another.
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05-23-2012, 09:57 PM
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674 posts, read 1,132,576 times
Reputation: 568
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CitytoCity2021
I prefer the paid sites, but you're right, it's all about being able to weed out the creepers. I checked my email again and I have a few messages, but I am not really into any of the guys.
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How do you know you're not into them? Have you met any of them yet? |
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