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I get so tired of this myth. "All women have to do is show up". Get real.
Not getting double-takes or smiles isn't an indication of attractiveness. Most people are average (that's the definition of "average"), so most aren't getting double-takes or smiles. The indication of potential attractiveness is when you put yourself in situations where people can get to know your character over time. Or how people react if you can make them laugh, and then follow up with some conversation. If you're expecting people to do double-takes and make the first move, you could be waiting the rest of your life.
It's not a myth, Ruth. Women have it much easier than men, especially when talking about the ugly.
It's not a myth, Ruth. Women have it much easier than men, especially when talking about the ugly.
I think it depends.
For society in general, a woman's worth is in her looks. If she's not attractive, she gets publicly ridiculed especially if she's a celebrity. I've NEVER seen a male celebrity get as much flack for gaining weight than female celebrities. How about all those 'hot bikini bodies' issues that all the tabloids constantly print? It's just women getting torn apart for minor flaws in their bodies.
Men can make up for being ugly by being fit, having money or being interesting for the most part.
An ugly women can be rich, fit and have an very interesting hobby or job and a man wouldn't give her a second glance because she isn't pretty.
A woman's looks are always the first thing a person talks about. I have a friend who has a masters in mechanical engineering and she's crazy smart...but the only thing people ever say about her is that she's homely. They couldn't care less about her accomplishments because she isn't attractive.
Where is this fantasyland where women can waltz into a bar or club without paying a cover charge?
It's called the 21st century, things like this are quite common.
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Some women do have to walk up to the handsome man they spotted and break the ice. Why do you assume he'd let her buy him a drink? He's likely to blow her off. This is a dream world you're conjuring up. Just showing up is not enough for a lot of women. Get it through your head.
You don't know this. If these two are in a meat market, that specific context usually determines that things are the other way around. Showing is up is more than enough for a lot of women, even the less than attractive ones. Even outside of that context, it's less likely to happen as well. Men and Women take rejection very differently, In my experience when a girl is shot down, or dumped she crashes hard (you can see this thread for good examples of that).
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Originally Posted by WakaFlocka
First off, everyone cares about looks. Some place more emphasis on it than others, but everyone cares. Second, an unattractive male is much more likely to land an attractive woman than vice versa.
This man gets it. Its good to see you posting again, you had a lot of insightful posts in the past Waka.
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
"Even the less attractive women get chased" is in the same vein as "all women have to do is show up", that by virtue of being female, that class of humans automatically gets attention from the opposite sex. It's not true. Your one example doesn't do anything for Asian Rice, Jet Jockey and other women who have strangers yelling at them in public that they're ugly, much less commenting the same in private.
This has to do with more uneven ratios, even outside of club environments. There are simply more men than women, you can do your own research on this and find very credible reports. Just take a look out in whatever town or city you live in, you'll always notice a grenade getting play. I don't fault those dudes going after those grenades because pounding it out is a natural part of life. Better to be pounding something other than wasting time with a tube site. Aside from that, i've already mentioned the same thing happens to men, and when it does it's much worse but no one has a pity party, they just tell you to "man up" or accuse you of being too sensitive. When the shoe is on the other foot, the result? a pity party blowing things well out of proportion (a la this thread).
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Chunky isn't ugly. Women who are really attractive thin, are still attractive when they put on weight.
But it's still chunky. They might have a cute face, but that's not enough to get the wood growing.
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I've talked to several women who say they deliberately gained a lot of weight, because they were getting the wrong kind of attention when they were thin. With extra weight on, nice guys started approaching them, and the sleazoids left them alone.
I find that very funny and a bit hard to believe. Its hard for me to think of a woman who doesn't like validating attention from the opposite sex, that's almost like being a chef with no taste buds. It would also imply the options she has; a fairly attractive women can easily take her pick of the litter, getting fat is akin to a leprechaun losing a "pot o' gold". That extra weight just attracted an extra group of guys with no options, chubby chasing is essentially the result of either a fetish or bad luck. Nice guy/sleazoid, same boat only one of them isn't passive aggressive about their intentions.
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That seems sad, but that seems to be the way life works for some women. But they still had above-average looks. Women who are plain don't have options, other than to meet average guys who share their interests, same as guys have to do--place themselves where women can get to know their character, and hope something works out eventually.
It's sad but thats the way life works for both sexes. Things aren't determined by both parties "hoping" something works out. Someone has to take the proactive stance while the other follows. When it comes down to it that's the way this market works out, I didn't determine the rules at all but I can watch them at play. I think your heart is in the right place Ruth (as i've said), but in the wrong generation.
Did you mean that you have been approaching men? Are you like nyanna who complains about not getting any action and then says she gets approached a lot - but just not by men SHE LIKES. I think lots of women are like her in that respect. They complain about not getting any play, but then reveal that they get all kinds of play but from the wrong kinds of men. There is a difference between that and being someone who gets no interest whatsoever.
Did you mean that you have been approaching men? Are you like nyanna who complains about not getting any action and then says she gets approached a lot - but just not by men SHE LIKES. I think lots of women are like her in that respect. They complain about not getting any play, but then reveal that they get all kinds of play but from the wrong kinds of men. There is a difference between that and being someone who gets no interest whatsoever.
Did you mean that you have been approaching men? Are you like nyanna who complains about not getting any action and then says she gets approached a lot - but just not by men SHE LIKES. I think lots of women are like her in that respect. They complain about not getting any play, but then reveal that they get all kinds of play but from the wrong kinds of men. There is a difference between that and being someone who gets no interest whatsoever.
Agree 100%. Enough evidence of that just on this forum. Half these women should try walking in our shoes, getting zero attention at all and just constant ridicule or rejection. You get to the point where you simply give up completely and completely lose interest in the opposite sex.
If you're a woman and you're getting approached by guys you're not attracted to, it still counts. If women I'm not attracted to show interest, it still counts and they're still considered options.
You've missed a number of threads here where women say they're the ones doing the inviting, or the ice-breaking, and so forth. This is reality.
And many of those do that with their husband, live-in boyfriend, long time boyfriend, a guy who has already gone through the initial stages (which can take months or years), etc. but the guy they just spotted and never ever met before? Sure, there might be an exception here and there but they are just that, an exception. For sake of argument you might say you do it all the time, right?
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Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
well just like you said they want someone to rush to them 'awww, you deserve dates! women should want you, they're dumb if they don't' etc. etc. but when it's a woman she's ugly, this, that. whatever.
Or when women whine saying men don’t approach and take her out to eat because she’s fat instead of doing something to get her fat ass in the gym, eat healthy, make an effort to look presentable, etc. “Oh my gawd, men have no feelings”.
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Originally Posted by JetJockey
Yes, I've approached and bought drinks for many guys. They usually take the drink, say thank you and then say something along the lines of 'My GIRLFRIEND loves this beer'. and then they go and hit on my friends. I've asked out a couple guys in my life...actually, more than a couple and all but 2 have turned me down. Many have laughed at me, some politely declined and a few more asked why a guy like him would ever date a girl like me. Classy.
You must be an exception but tell me something, when it comes to the bar/party scene, generally speaking who does the approaching, buying drinks, asking for phone number, asking out, etc…men or women? See what I mean.
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How about all those 'hot bikini bodies' issues that all the tabloids constantly print? It's just women getting torn apart for minor flaws in their bodies.
Like I said before, women get crap for their looks, men get crap for their economic status.
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Men can make up for being ugly by being fit, having money or being interesting for the most part.
There you go. And woman can make up their economic status for simply looking attractive to the guy she’s interested in. Simple as that.
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An ugly women can be rich, fit and have an very interesting hobby or job and a man wouldn't give her a second glance because she isn't pretty.
A guy can be cute but have no job, have no car, live with the parents, have no degree, etc. and a woman won’t give her a chance.
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A woman's looks are always the first thing a person talks about. I have a friend who has a masters in mechanical engineering and she's crazy smart...but the only thing people ever say about her is that she's homely. They couldn't care less about her accomplishments because she isn't attractive.
A man can be the pope but if his economic status is crap, he will be invisible to women. Pretty simple: women care for a man’s economic status, men care that a woman is attractive to them.
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